Born in, baptized at 12, left bad marriage and the organization in my mid twenties.
I have lost:
Every friend I ever had from birth to age 25, including the best friend who was closer to me than my sister.
Three cousins, also closer to me than my two sisters. I missed all three of their weddings, nearly broke me completely. Also lost their parents who half raised me.
One of my two sisters and her elder husband, with whom I had also been very close, lost.
The thing I regret the most, I know my grandmother was broken hearted about my leaving "the truth" and she never gave up that I'd get reinstated. She didn't outright shun me, but she spent a lot less time with me, and my child, than she would have had I stayed in. I lost a lot of time with her the last few years of her life. I know she loved me, but that really hurts. Those are hours and days with her that I cannot ever get back.
My mother still says that if push comes to shove with her congregation, she will shun me. but...so far she seems to need me more than I need her, so she still sees me. My dad is inactive and thinks shunning is barbaric, and could give a rats ... what the elders think. Of course, he's been through it himself, when he was df'd briefly in his youth.
I miss them all, but for the sake of my very sanity, life and for my child, I can't go back, not even to 'make nice'. It just can't happen.
They all know, because I've told them, that my door and heart is always open to them. They know how to find me should they change their minds.
One of the greatest joys I've had since leaving the Borg is that one of my oldest friends is out too now, and it's wonderful to have her back in my life.
I have to say though, that even knowing what I know now, knowing how bad it hurts to lose all those people you think make up the foundation of your life, I wouldn't go back and change a single thing. I have my own family now. And I'm free, I'm free.
((((((((Ian)))))))) love to you my friend...
essie
