Urgent! Need help - I told my parents.

by filip 311 Replies latest jw friends

  • seeitallclearlynow
    seeitallclearlynow

    filip, bebu posted these topics for consideration on another thread. They're a nice tight group of issues - and since you said you get confused also, and have some trouble coming up with items to share with your parents, I thought these might help you too.

    Lack of love issues... that you and your mother are aware of.
    UN membership (add URL to UN's letter) http://www.un.org/dpi/ngosection/watchtower.pdf
    586/607 BC miscalculation http://www.607v587.com/
    Welsh trial where Franz "concedes" that the WTBTS must be followed even if a false prophet
    http://watchtower.observer.org/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040312/DOCTRINE/10527012
    Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz
    The protection of pedophiles by the WTS, and the the DFing of victims
    www.silentlambs.org
    The uncertainty of what Biblical truth is:
    www.quotes.ca.com

  • Dustin
    Dustin

    Hey Filip,

    Way to go in confronting your parents on the subject. In studying with the elders, all I have to say is they just make it out to be all wonderful. They treat you like they care, and like you can make no mistake by putting blind faith in what they say. What they don't tell you is that once you start doing what they want, they are going to try and control you all over again. It never fails. I went down that road a couple of times. Search out what some other religions have to say. Just remember there's only 6 million JW's in the whole world. They are definitely in the minority. I am finally starting to feel like I'm making my own decisions after 27 years of life. Leave the brainwashing behind. Think for yourself, and make your own decision. Take it easy.

    Dustin

  • stopthepain
    stopthepain

    parents probly aren't encouraged to respond in anger for purposes of keeping kids in the religion to spawn more little witnesses.They figured ouit you catch more flies with honey................IMHO,,,,,,,,,you know,the bright gets lighter on how to keep people in the fold too.

  • Swan
    Swan

    Filip,

    Please don't just blindly accept anything we tell you. Don't blindly accept what the JWs tell you. You must work at uncovering the truth. Read other independent websites. Go to the library. Prove it to yourself.

    For example: If the JWs quote a famous scientist talking about how evolution is a theory, go read the exact quote in the book they quoted from. If the exJWs claim the JWs were members of the Wild Beast of Revelation (The United Nations), go to the UN website and look for the documentation that they have. If the JWs claim that Jerusalem fell in 607 BC, and that began the Gentile Times which ended in 1914, go to the nation of Israel's website, search under history, and look up the real date Jerusalem fell. Verify this date with other history websites and encyclopedias at school. If the exJWs claim that the JW early history is full of changed dates and false prophecies and flip-flopped doctrine (http://quotes.watchtower.ca/), go back 100 years into the Watchtower CD and do some research there to verify those quotes.

    Tammy

  • filip
    filip

    forget everything I said about my parents taking it calm - this morning my dad got into "military-mode" again and ordered me to say my morning-prayer with him, next he said that he would come in with me everynight I was going to sleep, and then we should say a prayer together. Then he ordered me to study with him.

    Then, when I didnt say "thank you for dinner,sir" loud enough he lost all manners and were yelling at me completely uncontrolled. It all ended with him saying: "well then, go find yourself another home!"

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist

    Give your dad some space, Dude. From his perspective, his son is *choosing* to die at Armageddon. As a parent, he's trying to figure out what he did wrong, how he could have possibly raised an "apostate". When people feel utterly trapped, they respond with anger. If he demands a prayer, ask him, respectfully, if it would be appropriate to pray when you don't believe it. Wouldn't it be hypocritical? Remember, *respectfully*.

    Compromise now can buy you huge rewards later. Give him his prayer if he's insistent. From your current perspective, there's no God, so you're not hurting anything by praying to it. If later you decide there really is a God, it still didn't hurt anything to thank him for food.

    Just try to remember, your folks are PANICKING. They are scared to death for you, angry at themselves for doing whatever they did to turn you into an apostate, angry with your "worldly" friends that no doubt led you down this path. They are mentally flailing around trying to find something to explain your "irrational" behavior. And of course, they're sad, sad, sad.

    So please try to keep it even keel. Give what you can to help them through this. Stay calm (much easier said than done, I know) and try to not feed their fire.

    Take care,

    Dave

  • FreeWilly
    FreeWilly
    this morning my dad got into "military-mode" again ....... It all ended with him saying: "well then, go find yourself another home!"

    Yep, It happened to me too, just like that. I actually DID live somewhere else after numerous verbal and fist fights, usually just before meetings! Living outside my crazy home was the best and most peaceful time of my teens. What your realizing is the "Big Stick" the Society teaches JW's to swing when people do not fall in line. And guess what, it will likely never get better. Anyone in the 'Troof' is likely to shun you from here on out if you leave. Sorry, but that is the damage this religion causes. You need to start developing true friends that won't do this.

    You decision is not about what is "The Truth". It is whether or not you have the desire and courage to direct your own life course and beliefs. If you come to the conclusion that only followers of a doomsday publishing company deserve to be spared from a global slaughter - fine. If you come to the conclusion that "no one knows for sure and God isn't talking" - fine.

    You are still young and the desire for acceptance is strong - especially from your family. Sooner or later you will come to the conclusion that YOU direct your life. Your friends aren't conditional. And it's your right to choose what's right for you since you will be the one that deals with the consequences. You are going to be confronted with all the JW tactics - fear, guilt and family blackmail. Get ready.

    Some questions to ask yourself:

    Why is the Bible like every other ancient religious book; Tales of heroic people, fantastic events and displays magical powers in places long ago, far, far away, that for some peculiar reason does not happen at all in real life today?

    Why was Noah's ARK too small to even hold one pair of each type of insect on Earth?

    If Jehovah will judge everyone based on how the react to the "Issue of universal soveriegnty" then why doesn't he openly explain this issue in the Bible? Why did Jesus, or the Apostles never mention this most important "Issue"? Compare this to the entire book of Hebrews where the Christian meaning of the Law covenant is thoroughly explained over many chapters.

    When Cornelius, the Army officer asked what he needed to do to be saved, why didn't Jesus tell the him to quit his position in the Army?

    Moses was Jehovah's "Channel of communication" that the WTS now also claims to be. He was very reliable and never got it wrong or confused until.... One day in the wilderness the Israelites were in need of water. Moses took his staff and smacked it on a rock and said "Is it from this rock that I shall give you water?" Because he screwed up and said "I" instead of "Jehovah", he was punished. He was told he would not lead the Israelites into the "Promised Land". He died in the wilderness for just screwing up on ONE WORD of direction from Jehovah. Now, just imagine if Moses told the Israelites they would only have to wander the wilderness for 14 years, then revise that to 25 years, then revise that to 75 years and finally say he really can't say for sure? Imagine if Moses said Golden Calves were OK, then later say, now they are not. Imagine if Moses secretly made an allience with the Eygptians? Do you really think Jehovah would still be OK with these COLLOSAL divine miscommunications? Why would Jehovah insist on using a group that has proved time and again to be an unreliable source for dispensing direction from Jehovah and then kill all humans for failing to listen to them? Would you do that?

  • Swan
    Swan

    Filip,

    Please talk to your school counselor about this immediately!

    forget everything I said about my parents taking it calm - this morning my dad got into "military-mode" again and ordered me to ... when I didnt say "thank you for dinner,sir" loud enough he lost all manners and were yelling at me completely uncontrolled. It all ended with him saying: "well then, go find yourself another home!"

    Children are not soldiers. They shouldn't have to be treated like they are in the military.

    Children should never be threatened with abandonment and having to find another home.

    This is an abusive situation. It could escalate unless you talk to a teacher or counselor.

    Please do so right away.

    Tammy

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints

    Filip, is there no one you can talk to at school? don't be afraid... what your father is doing is not right. you are still so young and when he tells you to find yourself another home, he is reminding you that you "need" him ... the fact is, legally he has to provide for you and look after your well-being until you come of age, and this behavior he is showing is tyrannical and wrong! be careful and make sure he doesn't track your computer usage... i would hate to see you cut off from this place with people who care about you. you deserve to be cherished by your parents, not treated like a prisoner or an evil person who can be cast aside according to his whim.

    don't give up. someone out there cares. really.

    p.s. if he says you have to "obey" him 'cause the scriptures say so, say "um, dad, I believe the commandment says to "honor your father and mother"...then say "hmm, where's the one that says parents honor your children? ". don't be scared. you're not alone anymore. hugs you.

  • a friend in need
    a friend in need

    filip,

    Good to see you are a thinking person. You won't recognize me on this site, as I only look in once in a while. Your posts intigue me. When I was 15 years old, I felt a lot the same as you do. There was no internet back then and no one in the cong. that I felt I could talk to. I soon started looking at my mother as a 'no nothing'. Again, not unusual for your age.

    After a few years away from the JWs, I sure appreciate them now! Believe me ... there is nothing out there that is any better than what you have. By your own admission, you live with two loving parents. Do they beat you? Do you have food and shelter? Do they have your best interests at heart ... more so than these people here ... who you only know by way of your computer?

    By all means ... give the study a chance! Don't expect it to do any good if you are still posting here behind your parents backs. If you are so sure of the 'help' you are getting here, show your posts to your parents or an elder.

    I am so disappointed that you could allow yourself to be swayed by complete strangers here and yet allow your family to spiritually and physically support you. I've been there .. done that. Do yourself a favor and GET OUT OF HERE!!!!

    afin

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