by codeblue 86 Replies latest members private
Gee, Carmel,
your post made me go back to read over this thread. I hadn't gotten the impression that anyone here felt everyone needed counseling? Rather, I thought that it was pretty much suggested that if one WERE considering therapy, then the experience of several of us was that it had been beneficial to us. Having done so, I still don't think anyone presumed to know "what the generality of human kind needs." How is it that we interpreted this thread so differently, do you think?
outnfree
your post made me go back to read over this thread. I hadn't gotten the impression that anyone here felt everyone needed counseling? Rather, I thought that it was pretty much suggested that if one WERE considering therapy, then the experience of several of us was that it had been beneficial to us. Having done so, I still don't think anyone presumed to know "what the generality of human kind needs." How is it that we interpreted this thread so differently, do you think?
i went back and re-read the whole thread (my post first) too, thinkin' hmm i sure hope i didn't say anything offensive...then i noticed i put that "if anyone is considering it" thingie in there. *whew p.s. normally i don't police my comments too much but i did this time, 'cause one thing i don't do is tell anyone how to live their life. i mean, we may have similar experiences as they apply to the watchtower, but our own individual life experiences are uniquely our own...
outnfree I 2nd what you just said
The topic of the thread was to see how many got counseling and if it helped...(not that all people need counseling...sorry if anybody took it this way.)
Well we were in a cult. Going to therapy, after being brainwashed is a very normal thing to do. Anyone that can walk away without pain, anger and gried is by far a stronger person than either me or Thunder. More power to anyone that chooses to heal in their own way...as long as that is a productive, not distructive healing.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Wednesday))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) awww sweetie that is wonderful
For myself, this board was therapy. I realize some people need professional help though, and should have it.
It takes time to really get out, codeblue. Trying to live a double life, for the sake of family, can drive you nuts, and prevent you from really having a life.
I think if you need to talk to someone who is a professional, you should do it. My brother did that back in the late 70's and was helped tremendously. He got someone who specialized in helping with deprogramming people who had been in cults. I sure wish I had listened to him back then.
I've sough counseling when I couldn't get past certain points in my life. My first and biggest was finally acknowledging and submitting myself to AA because there was no way I could "kick" my addicition to alcohol by myself.
A couple of years into sobriety I began to realized that I was grieving many, many losses: alcohol, friends, parents and family, lifestyle, etc. So I sought out therapy. One of this therapists "things" was to blame and attack my parents and their cult for all the bad things, including my alcoholism, that happened to me. I know for fact, then and now, that this simply is not true. Besides, alcoholism is a physiological inability to process alcohol normally, as diabetes is the body's inability to process sugar normally. And both are usually genetic.
The first therapist made me feel so horrible every time I saw her (2x per week over 6 weeks) that I finally told her that this was NOT why I was in therapy, I didn't like her attitudes and methods, and I would be leaving. Her response was that I was a really, really sick person and had been physically and mentally abused all my life and I would never amount to anything without life-long therapy. She was one of the bad ones.
I've since experienced very good solution-oriented therapists and doctors who do not believe in this life-long crap.
As Prophecor (please reduce the size of your font, it looks like you are yelling with enphasis...) I don't think people as a whole are capable of getting through certain areas and complications of life without "outside" trained help. However, as with my experience, ya gotta be careful who you work with. Some of these guys have their own control and mental health issues.
Another side to therapy is applying what you have learned... practice.
One of the exciting things I found when I started recovering (from alcoholism, JWism, life) was that I got to try on new Brenda's. Ok I like that behavious, I'll keep it. No, I don't like the results of that one, I need to modify it a bit. Funny thing was, I found myself back to my teenaged self without all of the musts and shoulds and if you don't He's gonna getcha mind-control crap.
I like what Bradshaw said (the guy who did the books and lecture circuit/series on the disfunctional family) about self-help books. "You can read all the self-help books you want, but if you don't apply it, they're no good". He likened it to two doors:.."one door is for Heaven, and the other door is Lecture to Heaven. All the self-help book buyers/readers are lined up behind the Lecture to Heaven because they're afraid of the real thing"..(paraphrased).
This board is excellent group therapy. Here, like AA, we get to see what others have gone through. What they've done about it. Etc. How they handle things. And even though I've been out for 25+ years, I have gained some real resolution, understanding, and enacted theraputic change because of this wonderful group of (really, really sick, gonna need therapy the rest of your life) people.
Hugs and much gratitude and respect to ya'll
Bren
I was going through some major emotional stuff when I was dealing with my issues with the Org : depression, suicidal thoughts, nightmares, etc.. I called the only therapist in our area and told him I think I belieived was suffering from some sort of Post traumatic stuff because of a cult like religion I had been a member of for several years. He said, "are you talking about the Jehovah's witnesses?" turns out he has been a therapist for years and very familiar with the Jehovah's witness cult and has had other JW patients in the past. Anyway, he has been a tremendous help to me. Besides my professional therapy this site and the people on it have been of major help in my recovery--I think that this site has helped most of all. I am fortunate to have had both.
cybs
I think that because I had done considerable therapy and gone through ACOA group therapy years before I left the B'org it helped me tremendously to cope with the withdrawal symptoms of leaving the cult. Habits even bad ones are hard to break, as is the brain washing it's hard to overcome it, it takes practice and patience.
I like this from BrendaCoultier:
I like what Bradshaw said (the guy who did the books and lecture circuit/series on the disfunctional family) about self-help books. "You can read all the self-help books you want, but if you don't apply it, they're no good". He likened it to two doors:.."one door is for Heaven, and the other door is Lecture to Heaven. All the self-help book buyers/readers are lined up behind the Lecture to Heaven because they're afraid of the real thing"..(paraphrased).
A big John Bradshaw fan here Brenda. Ain't nothing like the "real thing" baybee!
At any rate CodeBlue if you are having difficulties in your life and feel therapy will help chances are it will and you will be happier for having given yourself the gift of clarity if nothing else. I say do it if you are struggling but remember one thing; it's like going through a tunnel in slow motion and takes a long time before you see the light at the end so be patient with yourself and just keep practicing your new coping skills. Well that warning worked for me hope it does for you, in other words don't expect too much it's not magic, but it will seem magical when you finally "see" the light........
How Many Have Sought Professional Help???
only in Vegas..
Unless an exjw has some other mental problem, it should be sufficient to read a couple of good books and browse this site to heal from jw experience. Healing does not mean all effects will dissapear.
pro,
"when doing these mundane things, we are still seeking a release, a removal of ourselves from the pain and anguish of being human."
I am not too sure about the above statement, probably it is too wide or general. I read newspapers etc just know what's going on around me.
