Being a JW Woman - Was It Really That Bad? (page 2)

bem

The main reason I am no longer a Woman in the jdubs, Is because of the treatment of women. and thanks to one elder I am happy to say I am out. Because of his treatment of me personally and his letting me know in no uncertain terms " he was an elder I was just a woman" It became the straw that broke the camels back. Do I hope any thing I was taught turns out to be true? well yeah I kinda hope that part about "stumble someone and you may as well tie a mill stone around your neck and get thrown into the sea" < sumthin like that) I hope that ones true.

confusedjw

Ladies subject yourselves!

Remember Mariam!

jgnat

From an outsider's point of view, the women looked harried, suppressed, and in their old age, living their lives in quiet desperation.

Here's some problems with this male-dominated system, which allows fewer roles for women than 2000 years ago:

They have cut off half the intelligence and creativity of their group.
Girls outnumber boys. Only boys have status. There are few prospects to chose from. A girl has to take what she can get. If the only eligible boy in the hall strings a girl along through her eligible years, she may have to face a life of spinsterhood.
There are no allowances for a woman in her childbearing years, to let up in field service. The woman is expected to keep up AND be the caretaker for her family. Recipe for burnout, and I can think of a half-dozen examples in our Kingdom Hall.
Natural affection is suppressed, as there is no guarantee that the mother will be able to maintain contact with her children through adulthood. Instead, the mother becomes tyrant, demanding the child conform young.
The widows are desperately poor, due to lack of planning. In our Kingdom Hall, there are a half-dozen widows where there is one car between them. Many of their homes are in desperate lack of repair. The WTBTS teaches that care for the widows falls primarily on the children, but of course, they are busy getting their hours in, jockeying for an eldership, or out of the picture.
Having put all their eggs in one basket, the social scene at the Kingdom Hall is their primary outlet. But of course, the relationships there are conditional, and the conversations brief and scripted. I have seen an elder brush off a widow, he had "more important" matters to attend to.
Intelligent and capable women have to watch unsuitable Ministerial Servants and Elders bumble through their duties, and there is nothing they can do about it. Think about it, in the "world" the woman could be an accountant, a manager, a welder. At the kingdom hall she has to sit on her hands and watch the idiocy play itself out.
Now, this may be as true for the men, but it is the clincher for me. I cannot express my true self at the Kingdom Hall. Which is why I treasure this board. I can write to my heart's content.

Insomniac

I hated it so much, being a sister. I had friends who were abused by their husbands, who received NO help from the elders, and always were told they needed to keep the abuse a secret, so's not to bring reproach upon Jehovah.

The po's son I briefly dated tried to boss me around on our first damn date, told me I should have worn a dress (to go skating). This guy, who was proud to have dropped out of school in tenth grade to pioneer, could barely read, and yet he harped on me for not being submissive and respectful of his headship.

The condescending attitude they had toward women was horrible. I was in my thirties, had my own place, worked full time to support myself, and I had pups of 19 trying to talk down to me as if I were a feeble-minded child.

The thing is, even if I had been treated like a princess by these guys, the fact remained that I was considered different than, and lesser than, the men- solely by reason of my gender. I have too much pride as a human being to settle for sitting in the back of their damned bus, thank you.

Mulan

Intelligent and capable women have to watch unsuitable Ministerial Servants and Elders bumble through their duties, and there is nothing they can do about it. Think about it, in the "world" the woman could be an accountant, a manager, a welder. At the kingdom hall she has to sit on her hands and watch the idiocy play itself out.

Reminds me of one of my friends at the KH (former friend) who was married to a man of low intelligence. She was really smart and very capable. He was nice, a good father, and a good provider, but just not real smart. She had married him when she became a JW, because the woman who studied with her convinced her that Jehovah had sent this man to her. (isn't that disgusting?) She had two kids, and he had two. Together they had four more.

Anyway, it was embarrassing when he gave talks, because he "just didn't get it" and had a hard time expressing himself. She could have done such a much better job, but couldn't because she is a woman.

I agree with jnat. They are letting one of their best resources sit on the sidelines. But it's more than half.................there are by far more women than men in the congregations.

Our youngest son had to conduct the meetings for service in the summers (starting when he was 13), because he was the only baptized brother who was there. I was really proud of him and the sisters were wonderful about it, but some of those women were so much more qualified to do it.

coffee_black

Dodger Stadium, 1971.... My husband (now x) and I volunteered for pre-assembly and assembly work. Since I had some attended College, majoring in art, I volunteered for the sign dept. Since you had to put down alternate choices, I also volunteered for cafeteria work. I made the comment to my husband that regardless of my education and experience in art, they would assign me to the cafeteria because I am a woman. He said Oh no, they won't do that. Well, they did just that. He confronted the situation, and was informed that it was indeed because I was a woman. He pressed the issue, and under duress, they assigned me to the sign dept. So, I show up for work, and the brother in charge (wrong term for this moron) says...ok, go set up the screen print station and if you can do that, you will rise to the level of a man in my opinion. I asked where the tools were. He said, well, you don't know much do you. I told him that I could hardly be expected to know where he kept the tools since I had never even met him. Well, we got through that somehow, and I got to work. Lunch time came and everyone left for lunch except me. I kept working. I was getting pretty hungry...we had been up since 4:30 and traveled some distance to get there, so it had been many hours since I had eaten. When he returned from his lunch break, I asked if he would mind if I went to lunch. He said Oh you can't leave...you have to finish the job, and clean up. Well that's what I did, and left about 4:00.. I never went back. That kind of ignorance astonishes me. Weeks later I got a letter from him wondering why I had never gone back. He tried to justify his actions, and said he felt just fine about the way he had treated me.

At one point we were in a small congregation on the east coast. A sister called in the middle of the night begging for help. She said that her husband had been beating her. I drove to get her while my husband called one of the elders. When we got back to the house he informed me that the elder had told him not to get involved. It was her own fault, and she brought it on herself. We were told to take her home. Nice.

My Dad was an elder, and after an elders meeting at our house, my Mom made coffee and treats, she joined the group and they sat around talking. One of the elders brought up the subject of a "what if situation". What if the congregation was small, and the only male was disfellowshipped? Who would conduct the meetings? The answer that most of them agreed upon astounded my Mom and Dad. They said that the disfellowshipped man would be the only one who qualified. My Mom spoke up and voiced her outrage. "So you're saying that no matter what the man did, how bad he was, he still was better in Jehovah's eyes than a woman. Well, you're absolutely wrong." My Dad agreed with her.

I had a sister tell me once that subjection means that if your husband says he only likes white clothing, then that is what you are required to wear.

I witnessed a pioneer sister state an opinion to her adult son. She was reprimanded by another brother for "counseling a brother". I piped up and said, she is his mother...she changed his diapers, and taught him a great deal of what makes him who he is today. You mean to tell me that she can't tell him what she thinks?

Just a few lessons I have learned along the way. There were countless examples just like this and worse.

I can't say it's the only reason I left. It's only a small part of a very large picture. I can honestly say that no one treats me the way I was treated in the borg. I am successful and happy and respected in my career and my life. My life is a good place to be.

Coffee

logansrun

It had nothing whatsoever to do with my decision to leave. I think women should be put in their proper place.

Bradley

Doubtfully Yours

Honestly, I don't feel bad at all. However, that doesn't cover the fact that women in the WTBTS are just 2nd class, period.

I speak my mind often times, which has gotten me 'marked', and couldn't care less what the rank dealy they got going in there.

DY

kat2u

It had nothing whatsoever to do with my decision to leave. I think women should be put in their proper place.

????? Hmmm what exactly does that mean?

Country Girl

I was born feeling equal, so nothing they ever really said, or did, affected how I felt about myself. I was just mad that I couldn't be grown up and get the heck outta there sooner! Imagine yourself being asked to say the prayer, and having to wear a baby diaper on your head in front of your four younger brothers... them giggling the whole time. Guess who got their asses kicked when we were done with dinner? <grin> That was before they were bigger'n me..hehehe.

What kills me is that if a Mother takes her unbaptized son on a Bible study with her, she has to wear a doiley on her head to show submission to the one who can't even say the prayer! BAHAHHAHAHAH.. what's wrong with that picture?

The majority of JW males are senseless morons with no capacity to understand how dorky they really are with their Napoleon complexes!

Country Girl

Being a JW Woman - Was It Really That Bad?

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