Being a JW Woman - Was It Really That Bad?

by eljefe 74 Replies latest jw friends

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  jgnat

  Karategirl, I appreciate this comment...

  Oh and many of those nagging wives were a result of bitterness over their unfulfilled and unimportant existence. Many of them in cases I know usually were verbally and physically abusive to their children. They hate their lives but are trapped so they lock on to someone around them that doesn't fight back. Since they can't control their own life they control others. This exists even outside the borg.

  That is what I see at the Kingdom Hall. Embittered, suppressed women. Yes, they work out their will any way they can, but they have no say in the power structure.
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  BrendaCloutier

  Eljefe, thank you for your response(s) to give us a bit of a clue as to who you are and how you may think about the subject you opened. Unfortunately, your pseudonym (translated "The Boss") and avitar (angry male), combined with your question provides a psycological profile at least to your ignorance. Please accept this as my opinion and not a personal insult, as I really dont know you yet and I'm willing to get beyond appearances.

  You opened an overstuffed can-o-worms, what with society in general still subtlly or not so subtilly squashing women's rights: victimization by family/lovers/friends/spouses, anti-abortion (I'm anti-abortion but Pro-Choice), unnecessary surgury, ignoring women's medical symptoms telling them it's all in their head when it's stage 3 ovarian cancer, glass ceiling, lesser pay for more work, reduced advancement offers, and dancing backwards on high heals! The WTBTS has just kept women back in the 50's (Ozzie and Harriet were JW's) and never even considered reasonable (let alone equal) status, with all of the above mentioned social issues and then some.

  To most women on this board, and too many worldly women who never experienced life as JW, this is a huge deal. One that has been fought for centuries. It's been only in the last 35-40 years, with the pill, better non-natal women's medicine, equal rights amendment, Roe v Wade, etc., that women have begun to get a fair nod. (I fear that now with the Moral Majority Mandate we will see a serious slip backwards.)

  I hope you have gained some insight into the "woman" issue, both in and out of the bOrg through this and other threads.

  Hugs and Whirled Peas

  Brenda
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  Jez

  Insomnia said: I hated it so much, being a sister. I had friends who were abused by their husbands, who received NO help from the elders, and always were told they needed to keep the abuse a secret, so's not to bring reproach upon Jehovah.

  Many others have said the same thing. Yes, it was the reason I left. I was abused for 14 years, they had a confession from my ex, a criminal conviction and yet he was only publically reproved. I was told to forgive him and try again. One elder said to me as if it was a positive thing, "We have sisters in our congregation that are living with alcholoics! Surely you can try again!"

  I use to make up every talk for my exhusband. My sisterinlaw use to make up every one of my brothers talks. My mother use to underline and provide answers for my father in his WT.

  It makes me livid still to remember out in service with teen boys in the back seat making fun of us lower women and how God made it that way.

  I could go on and on, but yes, it was that bad.
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  Cicatrix

  In a word, Yes! If you are really interested in knowing what it's like for women in the org, do a search and read up. It's a very painful, often convered topic. "I always got pissed off when they talked about Leviticus and how " a womens cycle" made her unclean for 7 days before and 7 days after her period. Ok that leaves about a week a month that women would be considered "clean" And that, of course, would be her most fertile week, lol.
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  whyamihere

  I couldn't wear certain things.

  The elders kept saying that I was wearing things that may cause a stir. I had Big Boobs what hell do I do tape them down?

  Brooke WI
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  Happy Guy :)

  As much as I can't understand how any self respecting women in today's civilized society could live believing the sexist nonsense in the JW faith, I do not understand how any self respecting male could either.
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  Sunnygal41

  Jes - Dah - Oui - Si - yes.
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  Nancy Drake

  Brooke,

  Our X presiding overseer (N.L.) told my dad I couldn't wear my green nail polish anymore because it was unlady-like.

  Also he got mad because I would say yeah instead of yes. Because "yeah" didn't sound lady-like.

  He also got mad because I would say "awesome" all the time.

  Once I told him, "Your tie is awesome," and his loser ass said "Only Jehovah is awesome!"

  LOL, Brooke, you caused a stir no matter what you did...Brownie girl.
• 

  Sunnygal41

  Ladies subject yourselves!

  Remember Mariam!

  CJ.................. Fuck You!
• 

  Scarlet

  Yes it was really that bad. I was raised in a family where my mother was very submissive to my father. They never understood me or why i felt woman had equal rights. The elders would constantly talk to my father about me and about how my skirts were too short, I wasn't meeting the hourly requirement in service, I wasn't a regular pioneer. My dad when then tell me about it and I would say to him that this is hear say and I know you don't care and are only telling me these things to get these men off your back you tell them if they have something to say about me then they need to tell me to my face. My dad would go off on how he was the spritual head and it should go threw him. I said well dad I don't believe that so they need to talk to me I am a human being too.

  I will also never forgot the date that my grandma set me up on. OMG we went out to the movies and then for coffee and we were talking and I was telling him about the direction I wanted my carrer to go and how eventually many years down the road I may want children. He proceeded to tell me that I didn't know the woman's place and if I was going to be a good witness woman I needed to stay home regular pioneer and have babies and serve her husband. I told him right then that he could take me home and this date was over and I was not interested in seeing him ever again as he needed to learn about equality.

  I ended up really lucky though I met my husband as a dub and he was all about equality between woman and men and didn't understand why the witnesses were that way. In fact when the elders talked to him after we were married about my clothing choices he told them he thought I looked fine and that it is not his place to tell me what to wear. He said that was my choice and if they have a problem with it they need to talk to me but he wasn't going to. They told him that he needed to learn how to be my head.

  I would definetly say the treatment of woman played a huge role in me leaving and bothered me for many years. I have so many stories I could tell but these are just a few.