Being a JW Woman - Was It Really That Bad?

by eljefe 74 Replies latest jw friends

  • eljefe
    eljefe

    I have seen quite a few posts from many ex-JW women about how unhappy they were about male domination in congregation. Was it really that bad?

    When I was still a JW, no one ever told me anything to that effect. I suppose that women would talk about it much with a man. Did that have anything to do with your decision to leave JW's?

  • Stefanie
    Stefanie

    Yes it is, and in some cases its even worse

    Did that have anything to do with your decision to leave JW's?

    Yes

  • MelbaToast
    MelbaToast

    You betcha it did.

    That Head covering thing that they made pioneers heading out in service wear always ticked me off. Oh and of course if their was even a man publisher, he got to arrange. Typical WTBTS crap. As a women, I found it totally demeaning...I mean does putting a hankerchief on your head make you less of a women?

    THen there was the stigma that women had to be in submission of their husband. Total BS.

    Blaming everyone sin on a woman (EVE made adam eat, or so they say)

    As a girl, I always wanted to try my hand at passing the microphones, ( I know, trivial in the stream of things, but hey, it seemed important at the time)

    I always got pissed off when they talked about Leviticus and how " a womens cycle" made her unclean for 7 days before and 7 days after her period. Ok that leaves about a week a month that women would be considered "clean"

    It always honked me off in service whenI was freezing my butt off in a dress...while guys at least had pants covering thier legs. WTF

    Plus, total condescending remarks made by elders and servents to women and to me in judicial meetings sealed the deal.

    I still cant understand why these "sisters" take all their crap.

    BTW: Not to mention grounds for divorcing, wearing puritanical clothing ...I could go on and on

    My .02

    MelbaT

  • eljefe
    eljefe

    If you really wanted to run the mikes you could have went to a small congregation where they had to "resort" to using women for duties.

  • Tatiana
    Tatiana

    "where they had to "resort" to using women for duties." ????????????????? That's the point.

  • MelbaToast
    MelbaToast

    wow its funny out of all the reasons I gave for being upset with the congregation, you choose the mike handler? I wish I never said it.

    I have been in small congregations ( 60 publishers) and they never "resorted" to using the sisters for anything except cooking for quick builds and making up car groups when there are no men. Oh, and must not forget the "brickline" or wall paper hanging...truly "womens" jobs...I guess our feemble minds cant handle more than passing a brick or dipping some paper in water.

    grr

  • redhotchilipepper
    redhotchilipepper

    It's actually sad how women in the JW org. are so "USED" but not used at the same time. We had so much of the responsibility but the men still get all the credit for it. Who wants to pass the mikes anyway. Do sheparding calls. No thankyou. The men can have their silly duties. I do and did object to the headship thing. It goes way too far. Men abuse it. In a good relationship you are submissive to each other and different times. I get your tea, you get my tea honey, thank you. Not "Woman, get me my tea". There is definately something wrong with that picture. I was a submissive wife, yes, and now I'm sicker than hell of all that submissive crap. Equality in a relationship! Yes being a JW woman Sucked!

  • Wolfgirl
    Wolfgirl

    Having a very domineering "father," I was kind of used to it. But it really irked me when a man was chosen to do a job that I knew I could do MUCH better. It was even worse when the MEN knew I could do it better than them, but they still insisted on doing it because they were men. Apparently, being born with a penis makes you more important. :D

    My first (and only) JW boyfriend started talking about how I'd have to do all the work around the house if we got married, because he didn't know how to do anything. I worked full-time; he worked part-time. I mentioned that, and he ever so graciously said he could run the vacuum. I told him he could learn how to do other things to help me, since I worked more hours than him. He said no. Pffft. I broke up with him.

    I was always a strong, independent woman in that sense, and my mouth got me in "trouble" fairly often.

    JWs believe that "worldly" women have such a warped view, and that not being submissive to the 'head of the house' is so evil. I think that's ridiculous. I am not "submissive" to my husband. He is not "submissive" to me. We are partners. We work together to make the marriage good. I do things for him; he does things for me. We discuss decisions together, and we both work for the best possible outcome. Most of the time, we have the same ideas about how things should be done. If we disagree, quite often, he does things the way I think they should be done, because I am more practical than he is. And both of us can easily say that the other was right and we were wrong.

    That's how a good marriage works. Not like so many of the JW marriages I saw, where the woman was a doormat and the husband "considered her opinion" and then did whatever he wanted anyway, no matter the outcome.

    I was always grateful that I didn't have to give public talks, be in long elders' meetings, etc. It did annoy me that women were given the "menial" jobs when it came to KH cleaning or building sites. 'Here sister, go clean the toilet.' HA! YOU go clean the toilet. I'm going to vacuum. (That's the way it usually went for me, when I actually showed up to clean the hall.)

    When our congregation was building their new hall, one of the elders suggested that I help carry nails to the brothers and sweep up junk. I gave him the most incredulous look I could manage, and then told him I was going to go build frames. I did very well too, thank you very much. Hee-hee!

    Thank "god" I'm out.

  • Golf
    Golf

    As a bro. I found sisters far more useful than brothers, enough said! As a foreman in the construction trade, I never had problems with female ironworkers. We had one girl that could walk the steel better then some men. Naturally, the male ironworkers did their usual complaining.



  • JustTickledPink
    JustTickledPink

    I left before all of it hit me. But I did always object to the women being less than a man, the stupidest rule I thought was that 1 woman couldn't be onstage in the KH by herself... it always had to be 2 women doing some 5 minute bit, or service demonstration.

    No thanks.

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