All I want to say is wow! And thank you all for posting such informative information. You have helped me a bunch but before I explain how, let me give you all some background to better explain what has happened......
First of all let me tell you that I am "sort of" Athiest. I use the term "sort of" because I do not have a religion but I do not fully disbelieve in any higher power. My family moved around alot and never really were close to other family members and we very very rarely went to church (maybe 5 times total in my lifetime.) My mother is a Christian but my Father was (passed now) an Athiest who "insisted" that his children learn from their own experiences about religion and let us choose for ourselves. So, being from a non-family oriented "family" and experiencing very little religion in my life I've always just researched anything about religion whenever I've run across a question or two.
I have done my own personal research on the bible and religion and personally feel going to church is a waste of time. Please, no offense to those who do attend as this is only my personal view and I do not and will not ever look down upon people of faith as I know they do live happier and more meaning full lives than most people (myself included.)
I am a nice guy and in my opinion (and in those who know me) am one of the nicest around who would do basically anything for anyone just to make sure they are happy and ok. Making people happy is what makes me happy most of the time. That being said, I seem to attract the "needy" or "nut-so" type when looking for a relationship. They seemed like nice women but always ended up using, cheating, lying, stealing, extremely mentally abused (and beyond), et cetera and I always stuck with the relationships way too long trying to help them which in turn always would crush my heart in the end. And most of the time, not just the normal break-up but the type that I would try to keep saving until finally they completely destroyed me to the point that I no longer wanted to even be. Then I would somehow pick myself back up and do it all over again... Basically, I am a 32 year old man. Single, never married, no children (have always wanted to have at least one), fairly successful, quiet, nice, neat, clean, who always gets stepped on.
So, now that you know kind of who I am and some of my background and how much of a sucker I am. I just want to say thank you because of what could have happened but will not now because of you guys.
..... Now I'll explain
Almost two weeks ago I left work as normal and only traveled about 2 blocks from the parking garage when I noticed the car in front of me had a flat and the driver wasn't pulling over for some strange reason. So, I pulled up next to them and rolled my window down and pointed to the driver's tire. The driver looked over and rolled her window down. That's when I explained the flat tire to her. She was shocked, thanked me, and asked if she could get in front of me to pull off the side of the road. I said yes and then I thought for a split second, and suggested she pull in to the parking lot across from us and I would change it for her. She agreed.. She popped the trunk and thanked me as I began changing the tire. She made small talk and me being the shy person that I am didn't say much other than answer her questions and listen to her (where I work, where she works, where she is traveling to, et cetera.) She had a long drive ahead of her (she lives out by me which is 35 miles away from work) so driving on a flat on the highway wouldn't have been pretty. I changed the tired in about 20 minutes, she thanked me, I said no problem, then turned to leave when she stopped me and asked for my phone number and asked if she could repay me with lunch the next day. I said of course, she asked for my number then called my cell right then and there (she said to make sure she got my number correct) and I was on my way.
The following day, she texted my cell early in the morning asking me where to meet up and what time would be good for lunch. I let her know 11:30am would be good and since I knew she worked close I picked a spot to meet fairly close as well. She agreed and we met and had lunch. Our conversation seemed to be going well, she was all smiles, I was all smiles, then about half way through our lunch when I asked what she did on the weekend to relax or have fun she told me she was a JW who did volunteer work. I really didn't know anything at all about JW's at the time so I did not really have a reaction other than telling her it was nice of her to help people who also needed help. I've done plenty of research on the church but very little on JW and knew nothing other than knowing they knock on doors, seem close minded, and most people see them as a cult.
I'm a fairly intelligent person and intelligence is one of the major qualities I seek in a companion so when I learned of this and knew as little about JW as I did I was pretty discouraged. She seemed very intelligent so I was wondering how someone like her could be duped into a religion like this but I did not press the issue...
The meal carried on with no other mention of JW or religion and we still seemed to hit it off pretty well. We walked a little, I learned she liked dark chocolate so I bought her some and then we shook hands and parted ways. She asked me to text her some time. I took this as promising (again, not knowing much about JW.)
Later that night I got home and figured it's Friday night and during our lunch she stated she liked movies so I wonder if she would like to see a movie so I texted her,"Would you like to see a movie tomorrow night?" Hours passed and late that night I received a reply,"I don't think so." I took that as (I'm not interested.) So I left it at that.. and never contacted her again....
And then more than a week and a half passes by and I receive a text on my cell early in the morning during work,"Good Morning.. Sorry I did not reply to your text. Do you have an e-mail address I can e-mail to you at work?"... from her.
I'm thinking.. huh? I didn't text you? Maybe she texted the wrong number? Or maybe she was interested in me and since I did not contact her she was making up an excuse to contact me? I didn't know so I texted her back with my e-mail address and nothing more. No reply.. the work day passed and no e-mail.. I went home.. ate... about 8pm I checked my e-mail again and I'm thinking,"Must've been a text to the wrong number, but just to find out, I'll test her." So I text her asking her if she would like to have lunch tomorrow. She replied quickly with a quick and short "ok." So I text back again,"Same time ok? Have you ever been to Atlanta Bread?" No reply... until 10:46pm. From our last lunch she knows I work at 7am and have to get up at 5:30am to goto work. I also know she works at the same time so this was odd to send so late in the night... and her reply was longer instead of short and quick like before,"11:30 will be ok. As long as it is within walking distance." (may have said more but that was the jest of it) I let her know the location (which was close to both our jobs) and went back to sleep.
So yesterday we met and had lunch again. I felt a little strange with someone buying me lunch last time (nobody has done that for me) so I bought her lunch this time (she had her card out and seemed to want to pay for her own lunch but I didn't let her.) We both ordered soups and she asked if I wanted to eat in the park instead of the restaurant because it was too quiet there (no idea why.. but that's what she said..) so we ordered to go and took our lunch to the park downtown. We chatted a little more about what we do for work, and I asked her what she usually does for lunch since she seems to be free for lunch all the time and found out she basically devotes her life to work and church. She gets up, goes to work at a successful job, never takes a lunch, goes home, then on the weekend volunteers and goes to church, then does it all over again. I thought, wow, she seems like an extreemly wonderful person but she really needs to have some time for herself to do what she wants and to make herself happy instead of others. So we seperated again and I went back to work this time a little confused because some of the pieces of the puzzle from before started to fit into place. My thoughts started to come together and fall apart....These are my thoughts only and not fact: "She texted me so late because she was keeping me a secret from her family (she's 26 and lives with her family.)", "She has brought up her religion at both luncheons but she did it in a very quick and nonchalant kind of way to make sure the conversation didn't stay on religion and changed very fast.", "Her co-workers don't know about me, actually.. nobody she knows.. knows about me.", "Is she trying to convert me? Is she having doubts about her own religion because she saw a nice person help her who isn't JW? Is she allowed to even hang out with me? Is she supposed to be taking a lunch with me?" Then, just as all these thoughts are running through my head she sent me a text while at work and it is still in my phone so I'll word it word for word,"Thanks for inviting me today :) You seem like a nice guy..but we dont share the same interest and im not intersted being more than friends."
That text confused me even more because we never even talked about a relationship or relationships or getting together or things of that sort, so obviously the thought of that has popped in her mind.. but why? Yes, before I knew about JW's I would have dated her but at the time I was only treating her as a friend and nothing more. I never once brought up anything about dating or relationships or even if I was single. Maybe the movie thing from a week ago she took as a date? And why even go to lunch a second time if that is how you felt about a person? So I replied back,"I do not have a problem with being friends because I thought that's what we were. As far as interests, I am not so sure about that as you do not know me." She replied with,"we can still have lunch if you want"
That confused me even more so I came home tonight and researched and researched about JW's (about 6 hours or more of non-stop reading and searching.) I know the basics but everything I've read here and from other sites has basically just told me to delete this number and run. She's a sweet girl and has a good heart but it's misguided... nothing I can do about that. You guys saved me yet another heart-ache.. and probably a bigger one than normal this time. :)
Thank you guys!