Public breastfeeding

by simplesally 174 Replies latest members private

• 

  Cassiline

  When I married at the age of 17 to a man twice my age he relayed stories about his ex-wife. One of which was that she only breast fed their daughter because she 'got off' sexually in doing so. This disgusted me and made me feel like breastfeeding on top of sex (because of JW beliefs) was wrong or somehow may be perceived immoral or dirty because you decide to breast feed your child.

  He went as far as telling me that this was the reason formula was made so women could not abuse children and themselves because, ?you know, ?self abuse? of course follows when one is done feeding the baby or while doing so?! Many older sisters in the congregation echoed his thoughts and beliefs. I distained the woman (his-ex) after that and any woman I saw breast feeding. How dare her/them! Of course I being the good little sister and wife raised as a JW was naive and brain washed enough to believe this utter sensationalism.

  When I had my first child several years later I was afraid and sickened to breast feed because it would be seen as dirty and I may be judged harshly for my choice, until I spoke to the nurse at the hospital who informed me that my beliefs we so off it was not funny. She then explained the dynamics of breast feeding and showed me how. I learned through trial and error how to properly feed my child and then learned that I was wrong about not only his ex-wife but millions of women. I judged far too much as a JW and did so again, this time not even a true JW belief system, just a area belief and that of older or more puritanical adults.

  It?s insulting IMO for people to pass on the thoughts or beliefs that women and babies are sexually aroused when they do not know all the facts. It makes a case against breast feeding for the conservative and ultra conservative and this is why I became so incensed, not only at Pete but at my own condemnation of others when I was a teen and those who believe that breast feeding is sexually gratifying even in the tiniest form.

  So I guess my point is why pass on things that are not true to have others believe your choice in life are dirty because of a set of beliefs, pressure from society or the sexploitation and sexualizing of the female form even in the most benign setting?

  Cassi
• 

  minimus

  Anyone have any hangups?.....(Personally, I'm all for public breastfeeding).
• 

  bikerchic

  Well dang it........I can't believe there is so much to say about one of the most natural thing a woman can do to nurture her child. As a Mom who breastfeed all five of my babies and I did it whenever, wherever and however.......but modestly! Hardly anyone knew I was nursing the baby.

  When I was pregnant with my first baby my Granny told me; "breastfeeding is a wonderful thing, the milk is always just the right temperature, you don't have to boil the nipples and it comes in the cutest containers!" Then she added; "when the little buggers cry just give 'em a bust in the mouth!"

  Granny was a funny gal, btw she had 7 and breastfeed all of hers too.

  Kate
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  myauntfanny

  I have to admit that I'm gobsmacked by this idea that breastfeeding might be somehow wrong or shameful if it's sexually arousing. A woman who is breastfeeding a baby may be looking forward to some time alone with her husband afterward (although if my experience is anything to go by she's probably only thinking about sleep) but she's not thinking about child molestation. It doesn't work that way. The protective maternal instinct is really unbelievably strong in most woman. Besides, it seems to me evolutionarily very sound to have breast feeding be arousing. Having babies generally and breastfeeding in particular takes a hell of a lot out of you. If it didn't turn woman on at the same time, I'm not sure there'd be much biological incentive to go make another, which is what nature wants us to do. I'm not saying we should do everything nature wants, I personally have no desire to pop 13 babies and then die of exhaustion. I'm just saying that things work this way for good biological reasons, and evolution has no interest in our cultural puritanism.
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  frankiespeakin

  One thing that sticks out to me in this thread is that the women who breastfeed thier children do so out of love and concern for thier children.

  I think these mothers who posted are trying to make it clear to us men that,, it is painful (in the begining mainly),, not arousing sexually in any way,,that they give up a lot of time and energy to provide this loving nurishment,, and they don't like it if you give this genuinely loving careing act any type of negative view that makes it something to be ashamed of, or only done in private. I see it from these comments,,that they rightly just want to be appreciated for doing this,, and not just taken for granted.
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  peacefulpete

  Myauntfanny....I just want to say that I nor anyone here ever suggested that nursing was wrong because of a biological reflex some (apparently none here) women feel. I like your courage at suggesting this had evolutionary value. The mother infant bonding at least partly results from chemicals released in the blood stream during nursing. It is only a couple ladies here that insist that this is a perverse suggestion. Similarly if the infant experiences a sensation that rewards this beneficial behavior it will reinforce the instinct to suckle. We are only just learning the role chemistry and reward centers in the brain play in directing behavior. This has nothing to do with predatory abuse of children for sexual purposes does it.

  Does the healthful behavior pattern linger in the mind till adulthood? Perhaps. Why should full breasts and erect nipples have any special appeal if not? Why are men generally not drawn to suck the chin or knees? Denial of these patterns does not make us more civilized or mature. Yes, we are not simply slaves to biology and biology itself often sends mixed signals. For example, fathers instinctively protect their young from misuse and typically men are instinctively not drawn to close relatives for sexual use so that the scene of nursing is less likely to illicit unwanted feelings of arousal. Other adult males can cultivate those protective instincts and learn to discipline these reflexes, channeling them to appropriate directions. Yet the fact remains that for many the sight of an exposed breast, especially if the woman is otherwise attractive, can make many in a mixed crowd uncomfortable.
• 

  myauntfanny

  Hi Pete

  Does the healthful behavior pattern linger in the mind till adulthood? Perhaps. Why should full breasts and erect nipples have any special appeal if not? Why are men generally not drawn to suck the chin or knees?

  Well, honestly I've never understood why men are so drawn to this particular activity. But lots of girls are breast fed and while a lot of grown woman are probably more interested in breasts than they let on (but they will never admit that to you so don't bother asking) they are not usually obsessed, as far as I know. So maybe it's cultural and not biological, but I don't know, I can't really speculate about men, they're too different. From Mars and all that, you know.

  Denial of these patterns does not make us more civilized or mature.

  I agree. Basic fact, men get turned on by breasts, with or without baby attached, nothing wrong with that, nothing uncivilized or immature about it. It's just as beautiful and natural as breastfeeding. It's holding women responsible for that arousal, and expecting them to regulate their own behaviour accordingly, that women object to. But I think you got told that already.

  Yet the fact remains that for many the sight of an exposed breast, especially if the woman is otherwise attractive, can make many in a mixed crowd uncomfortable.

  I know Pete, and I didn't get mad at you for saying that. When I wrote my post I was thinking about the man some poster heard on the radio who's trying to get breastfeeding outlawed as a form of child sexual abuse because women get aroused while breastfeeding.

  You got flamed pretty bad, I felt for you. Of course I have a different point of view and I understand why women got angry at what you said. But on the whole I've gotten pretty philosophical about all these things. People make each other uncomfortable in a lot of ways, all the time. We just have to try to muddle through somehow, and try not to get on each other's nerves too much.
• 

  SixofNine

  If indeed a woman got sexually stimulated when breastfeeding her child, and some indeed do (very small but real percentage), there would be nothing *perverse* about it, nor would it have much if anything to do with whether or not she should breastfeed in public, unless she was actually so overcome by her arousal that she was unknowingly humping the air. That might be tacky.
• 

  kls

  Okay, my two cents, I have four kids all grown, i breast fed all but one did i do it in public? only very discretely as not to embarrass myself or others. Then there is the case of my sisterinlaw who had a baby, we and others were invited to their home to see the new baby. There must have been at-least thirty people attending, as i walked in the living-room to congratulate the new parents there she was with the baby suckling on one breast and the other breast fully exposed leaking. I was embarrassed as were many others. It is common courtesy to somewhat conceal instead of showing both breasts full blown out for all to see.
• 

  SheilaM

  KLS: Ya that is a lil strange. HMMMM I was nursing at my home under a blanket and Thunders stupid friend yanks the blanket off He was mortified LOL Still I had my nursing bra on the other side.

  I lost the best post...

  What I said was to Pete whos analogy about boys liking breasts was since boys raised with only men in their life and boys that were never nursed like breasts....your theory is full of holes.

  Another point is that testicles are easily stimulated and contract when arouses. Well,, a suckling baby pulls and tugs and can bite (mine never did) So that is about as sexually stimulating as being kicked in the balls.

  What is wonderful is seeing the babe so content with flushed cheeks and the lil hands wanting to grasp your shirt or your finger...

  As far as my grandbaby she had an anapylactic reaction at 8 or 9 months when she was exposed to milk. Had my daughter not breastfed she would probably have died at birthCause as an infant her first exposure probably would have killed her. Even now her lil eyes swell and her nose pours when exposed to milk or milk products