What Is The Most Ridiculous Thing You Have Heard From A Witness?

by minimus 133 Replies latest jw friends

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    JW's are the thinkingest people because they get a college education by reading the wt. and awake. Lol. Still Totally ADD

  • Phoebe

    I love this thread! It's so entertaining. I've thought of a couple more.

    A sister believed you would be resurrected doing exactly the same thing that you died doing. 'So, if you die sword fighting,' she explained. 'You will be resurrected doing just that.' I was a kid at the time and I remember thinking what if you die at sea?

    An elder advising a sister who had a daughter in school studying English literature. 'You must not allow her to study Shakespeare, especially Romeo and Juliet. It's immoral.'

  • punkofnice

    Elder Thickster from Thicktown, Thicksville, Thick UK: "In the new world, Jehovah let us make a DNA on a computer."

    Brother Strange Stare: "We will still have BMWs in the new world."

  • Miss Worldly
    Miss Worldly

    After a lengthy ‘discussion’ about Armageddon, resurrection and living in paradise, I said, “...by your own admission, you might not make it at the time of the great tribulation. I won’t make it. But, if you or I died before then we would be resurrected?...so, what you are telling me is that the only way to guarantee getting into paradise earth is to die before Armageddon?” ...... the answer?.......”errrm...*scratching head*, well, yes, errrm no, but it’s more complicated than that”

    Really? Is it?

  • fokyc

    It's the truth!

  • nowwhat?

    When star wars 1 came out, the visiting C.O. Said we should absolutely not see it because one character looks like Satan the devil! (Darth maul)

  • WingCommander

    "The Generation that saw 1914 will not pass away until these things come to pass."

    The entire decade of the 1980's this was used as PROOF of the time of the End that we were in.

    My parents were nervous taking me to my first day of primary school. They (and I) were told The End was near (right from the platform!), and that surely I wouldn't make it to High School, graduation, have to get a job, married, a house, or grow old in this wicked System of Things. I was 4 years old in 1984. I'm 38. All of those things came to pass, and more! My parents and the older ones who LIED to them with false promises? All DEAD. This is the legacy of false prophecy that the WT peddles to "Generations" of ignorant, vulnerable, sheeple.

  • eyeuse2badub

    A DO named Yasko once told a circuit assembly audience: "

    Just because my wife and I don't have children, it doesn't mean that we don't know how to raise them. Neither my wife nor I have ever laid and egg either, but we know what to do with one."


    just saying!

  • Magnum

    About fifteen years ago, I was conducting a book study in a JW home. During that meeting, an older JW elder commented that Fred Franz learned a new language on a flight to another country so could he give a talk in the language of that country.

  • sir82

    "I think Ronald Reagan is the president that will lead us into Armageddon"

    After buying a new car: "This is our Armageddon car" * - said in 1990

    * The implication being, Armageddon would come before they ever had to buy another car

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