What Is The Most Ridiculous Thing You Have Heard From A Witness?

by minimus 133 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    I remember an elder questioning a woman who had admitted to giving and receiving oral sex from her unbelieving mate. He asked her the most intimate questions which clearly flustered her.

    Interestingly, she “confessed “ to the elders because her conscience bothered her. At the time, doing such a dastardly act was a disfellowshipping offense.

    I was a brand new elder and mercifully, an older elder Stifled the questioner and she was “only” given private reproof.🙄

  • Crazyguy

    “The world is coming to an end soon”

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    "Look at that car accident! We can expect more of that in these last days." (just a single car that hit a phone pole)

  • sparky1

    Told to me in 1974 by a beloved and kind Elder who was not very bright:

    "The Bible says that in the last days, men would be marrying and women would be given in marriage. There are so many marriages lately the end can only be a matter of months away!"

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog
    There are so many marriages lately the end can only be a matter of months away

    There isn't a face palm GIF good enough for this 😮🙄😏 lol

  • OneEyedJoe

    In my last-ditch effort to make my ex-wife see the cult for the blood-guilty cult that it is, I brought up the issue of blood fractions and actually got her to admit that it was possible or even likely that at least one person who's conscience would've allowed them to take fractions had died rather than take fractions and face the penalty of being shunned by their family prior to that policy being revised to make fractions a "conscience matter." When I pressed her to acknowledge that this means the watchtower society is bloodguilty, she said "No, because it doesn't matter if they died, because they'll be resurrected." That's the moment when I knew that nothing I'd ever say to her would make a difference. The cult could literally do no wrong in her eyes - any evils they commit in the name of god would be undone so they don't even matter.

  • purrpurr

    That sizcophrina is actually demon possessions, that's why shizco's always claim to hear God and the devil etc

  • minimus

    Neat blue dog 🤓

  • sparrowdown

    Ministry School Overseer aka Elder Left School at 15 Unintelligible Broken English talking about the importance of "good pro-nown-ment" and the use of "hyperballs" (hyperbole) when "tiching" to name a few but made thursday nights interesting. Interestingly Brother Snooze took over from him who had to have been 100 if a day.

    The irony of it seemed absolutely lost on the BoE...hmmm or was it.

    It seemed like the unspoken policy was to assign every position to an inappropriate-for-the-job brother.

    Gotta love that theocratic educayshun though.

  • redpilltwice

    "Everyone who has Facebook should be disfellowshipped".

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