would you hit a woman if she hit you first? (for men)

by pudd 93 Replies latest social relationships

  • LittleToe

    I hate abuse in any form.

    Hit? Never!

    Restrain? Maybe, if cornered.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    I believe it's wrong for anyone to hit *anyone*, period. But, in the heat of passionate arguments, it does escalate at times to those points.

    I think if more men would call the cops on the women and throw their asses in jail, it'd make them think twice! In alot of states, I am aware, that if the DA can't get someone to testify for the prosecution, then they drop the case. That's why alot of states have taken it *out* of the spouse's hands once the cops get involved, and it becomes purely evidentiary and based on officers' observations and notes, which I think is a very good thing. Oftentimes, males are afraid to report the abuse because of fear of losing face with friends or associates, or out of fear of retaliation (much as the case with women). But for there to be true and equitable justice, the stigma of reporting has to be removed for the males.

    In the situation where the female hits first, I see nothing wrong with the male using equal or lesser force to restrain the woman or knock her back for his own protection. Now, if it's just the woman running her mouth off and such, there should be no reason for a physical confrontation. Calling the cops would be my recommendation.


  • avishai

    Thank you for that understanding post, CG!!

  • freelife

    My ex wife pushed me off the back of the couch and put my head through the wall but i never hit her back. I couldn't live with myself if i did somthing like that. she was always trying to start shite with me but i never fell for it.

  • drwtsn32

    I could never hit a woman. I don't even think I've hit a guy.

  • little witch
    little witch

    Here is the great equalizer in the states (at least most the states).

    There is a victim, and a perpertrator. Self-defense is lawful. If you are hit by either gender you are allowed to defend yourself If you are in fear of your well being.

    It matters not if you are a male or female. The domestic violence laws were written to address both. Police and prosecutors address this sort of thing daily. Even gays and lesbians can become involved in domestic violence. So the laws were equalized in such a way as to determine who threw the first blow...

    There is no wiggle room as to gender, as there should not be. If a woman busts her lovers nose, she will be prosecuted just as a man will be. The victim is a victim reguardless of gender. If you lose control of your temper and slug your mate, off to jail you go....self defence excluded.

    Mind you "self-defence" is properly defined by law. It means you had no escape and had to fight your way out, loosely.

  • obiwan
    true indeed, but i have no pity on men just for that. they get to be fat, they get to walk around without their shirts when its hot, they dont have to give birth, they rarely are expected to even care for the children they help create I could go on all day. i wont even mention how many thousands of times a day men get away 'convincing' intoxicated or lonely women to do things with them that they normally wouldnt do and then brag about it with their guy friends about how they scored.

    Good Grief!!! So, I suppose, that all the downfalls women have, we can clump you into that generalization as well? Not ALL men do as you describe. Call me touchy on the subject, but their are men who do not fit that mold.

  • donkey

    It depends how ugly she is...

  • think41self

    I personally find it offensive in movies where the woman is outraged so she smacks the guy across the face....and he just stands there.

    If someone smacks me, my gut reaction would be to smack them back. I expect men to have the same gut reaction.

    I told my boys, even when they were little, that they had the right to defend themselves against anyone, male or female.

    In this situation, I've seen grown men choose to restrain the female, or push her away rather than hit her...but if she keeps coming at you, smack her. Why should it be different if it was a man?


  • Gadget
    It depends on what she hit me with first.

    I think this is a very good point. I work in a violent environment, and force can be used but it has to be appropriate to the situation and justified after its use. If a strong man was attacked by a small woman violence should not be needed because he would be able to restrain her by his greater strength to stop the attack. But say if the same woman had a knife he would have to take greater action because of the increased risk to him, and an appropriate increase in actions. It has to be appropriate to the situation. And sometimes you have to hit first. If someone was threatening you with a knife then you don't wait until they've stabbed you before you take action, you hit first to try and stop them stabbing you because then it would be too late. The same if your a small person facing a much stronger person, if they give you the impression by their actions they are going to attack you then to have a chance you have to attack first, attack can be the best form of defence.

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