would you hit a woman if she hit you first? (for men)

by pudd 93 Replies latest social relationships

  • blondie

    If the circumstances required I hit a man in self-defense, I would make sure he did not get up soon so I could get away.


  • Pleasuredome

    you were just practicing the can-can wasnt you viv?

  • Elsewhere
    his girlfriend had only slapped him because he had her pinned against a wall, yelling at her.

    It sounds like she was just acting in self-defense. I would not hold that against her. You're original question did not state this situation.

    If he is in the habbit of abusing and intimidating her like this, then he is a very abusive man and she needs to get away from him NOW.

    Odds are it is his nature to be abusive and will never change.

  • imallgrowedup

    Avishai -

    I see what you are trying to say - that a woman does it 'cuz she thinks she can get away with it. I'm here to testify (in my jock strap) that yes, there may be some women who do hit men because they think they are cute or drunk or are entitled to do so just 'cuz they are a poor helpless woman who has to show her man what a meanie he is. But that is the exception, and not the rule. It is my perception that if a woman gets so mad that she resorts to hitting, it is because she feels as if she is not being heard or understood, and the frustration builds up and for some reason, it is the only way they can show their extreme frustration. Does this make it right for a woman to hit a man? Absolutely not! However, knowing that the reason most otherwise respectful women hit is because they are not being heard or understood, I can guarantee you that the certain look in the eye that Puternut describes, coupled with the words, "I love you" can certainly make a considerable difference in the situation. Not only is the woman getting what she really looking for (even though she is not showing it in an appropriate manner), but the man is mature enough to diffuse the situation - not escalate it - by recognizing why she hit him in the first place - and then follows through with it.

    Avi - I like you. I even put you on my list of people I would like to meet in person, so please don't mistake my next statement as anything other than my personal opinion which is not directed at you in anyway. This is how I see things: If more men in situations where a woman resorts to hitting would understand the real reason that most women do so, I have no doubt there would be a dramatic drop in domestic violence. The fact of the matter is that men are stronger than women. Therefore, the men need to realize that they have the ultimate power to diffuse the situation - unless - he chooses to escalate it. That is right - I said choose. It is a choice whether one wants to escalate a situation by retaliating no matter what the reason is behind the the other's hitting - or find a more peaceful solution that works for both people. On top of that, if the situation happened in reverse, it would be up to the woman to decide whether to hit back or not - if she could still stand after the first punch. Of course, more men get the opportunity to choose after the first slap or hit or punch from a woman - than do women. But when deciding whether to hit anyone back - no matter how justified or unjustified the first person was in hitting in the first place - depends upon whether you prefer to choose the high road - a peaceful solution such as Puternut suggested - or the low road - and ride it all the way down with the one who hit first.

    Now, please, help me find my clothes so I can leave you in peace!


  • pudd

    Blondie; I tend to agree with you, but sometimes its not that clear cut.

    There is self defense and self defense. If a woman is in serious danger, too right you would hit hard were it hurts, but is it not also a form of self defense when the man you love has you pinned in a corner, being verbaly abusive? if he refuses to let her go, and is being threatening in his behavior while i am not saying she should have slapped him, but i am saying it was understandable.

  • SixofNine

    I can't believe all the black and white thinking I'm seeing on this thread. No one seems to be willing to make allowance for being all coked up. That's what's wrong with this country, black and white thinking!

  • Yerusalyim

    She broke my nose, I spit blood in her face...that was it. The worst I've ever done was body slam my ex wife when she had her teeth sunk in the back of my neck, legs around my waist, choking me from behind...I think that was prudent as I was on the verge of passing out from lack of air.

  • Elsewhere
    ex wife

    I hope she stays that way. Gawd help any man who gets in a relationship with her.

  • imallgrowedup


    if he refuses to let her go, and is being threatening in his behavior while i am not saying she should have slapped him, but i am saying it was understandable.

    I have been in an incredibly similar situation to this - only I was blocked inside a tiny bathroom. I can tell you from personal experience that when one feels overpowered and unable to make any impact in their current frightening situation, the "fight or flight" instinct takes over - especially when one has claustrophobia, as I do. Whether or not this woman's life was in danger or not, when that instinct kicks in, it sure as heck feels like it. I can't decide who is luckier - the man because the woman didn't try to kill him to save herself, or the woman because the man is obviously abusive and could have done more harm. Either way, I still contend that it was up to the man to decide whether to hit her back or not. Of course, because he pinned her in the first place, chances are slim to nothing that he has the maturity to realize that he should have stopped the situation from escalating - or that it should ever have gone that far in the first place. I do hope this woman left this man and never looked back.


    P.S. Welcome to the Board

  • undercover
    That's what's wrong with this country, black and white thinking!

    Which country would that be? There are several countries represented on this thread.

    But, your right about the black and white thinking. It isn't always black or white, right or wrong. There are many shades of gray. Until one is in a certain situation, one can't be sure how they would act or react.

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