Phoebe I am sorry you have had distress and a sleepless night. It shows you take these things seriously and are a thoughtful person. I would only suggest that there are lots of complex things to consider, not least of which are your personal relationships and how you envisage your life unfolding. JWs have good points and bad points. I would count shunning and lack of freedom of thought as among the bad. Their teaching on the name and refusal to kill brothers in other countries are the best points in my opinion. Those are not exhaustive lists on either side. It's not all black and white. That's what I think I've learned on my own journey so far.
jwfacts I was agnostic leaning toward atheism. Now I'm agnostic leaning toward belief in God. I'm really not sure what to believe but I think there must be something bigger than ourselves and that JWs have good points as well as bad points.
Cofty, those sound like fine reasons to leave JWs. Which one of those reasons was it for you? Or didn't you say it was because you disagreed with JWs on the ransom doctrine? But you didn't mention that one on your list.
I am making a serious point here. People's reasons for joining, staying and leaving are complex. Before 2001 I hardly heard abuse even mentioned as a reason for leaving JWs. Yet now, justifiably, it's a major, if not the major thing former JWs are corcerned about. Crisis of Conscience doesn't mention if once. Everyone's own story and understanding evolves, as yours has done. The reasons you initially left are not the same as the list you give now. And no doubt there is room for more development. If people stop on the way out, to consider the good and the bad, and make a considered choice, how can that be a bad thing?