I've been found out!

by pale.emperor 135 Replies latest jw experiences

  • cyberjesus

    Where did you get that the pale emperor was atheist?

  • Rather Be the Hammer
    Rather Be the Hammer

    Whatever happens, make sure that YOU know that YOU as a parent are responsible for the well being of your child.
    Not today or tomorrow, but do tell your wife that your child is not allowed to participate in demo's, will not be an unbaptised publisher, and cannot be baptized before she is legally an adult. Nobody except you and your wife is allowed to do any cult instruction Bible study with your child. Not even close family.

    This! It worked for me (husband very into JW, 2 children, first one already escaped and lives a happy worldly life! The youngest will be 18 next month and is not even 'unbaptized publisher' and I don't allow elders or whoever to push or say something to her about that. It works!)

  • Diogenesister


  • dozy

    I would go for a JC. Make the elders work for once - get them to bring in 2 witnesses etc. It's an opportunity to "give a witness" & ask a few questions.

  • Diogenesister
    Earnest In the United Kingdom the Computer Misuse Act 1990 states that a person is guilty of an offence if
    1. he causes a computer to perform any function with intent to secure access to any program or data held in any computer
    1. the access he intends to secure is unauthorised; and
    1. he knows at the time when he causes the computer to perform the function that that is the case.
    In the United States the Computer Fraud and Misuse Act 1986 [18 USC 1030(a)(2)(c)] states that whoever intentionally accesses a computer without authorization or exceeds authorized access, and thereby obtains information from any protected computer commits an offence. In this context a "protected computer" is one which has access to the internet.

    I know youve DA, but Just out of interest to you or anyone in a similar position THIS /\ /\ /\ combined with a letter from a lawyer to the elders threatening legal action would have a damn good chance of stopping a JC in its tracks as anyone snooping on your personal PC has committed an offence...if they then use private info to harm you..well....

  • konceptual99

    This might have the effect of stopping a JC but the horse has bolted, not least in as much as the OP has apparently sent a DA letter. IMHO the OP needs to forget the elders and concentrate on his wife and child. They will be hurt and possibly be feeling betrayed by what has happened and seeing what the OP has written (if that is the case). That makes them highly susceptible to influence from the BoE and non-supportive family members. If the OP so desires then I would recommend concentrating on minimising that damage.

  • Diogenesister
    2) Save your kid. Put your foot down on meeting attendance and indoctrination. Stop it. Use their rules against them. They have to respect you as head of the family, even if you're DA'd or DF'd. So you can prevent your child from being indoctrinated.

    Careful....this DOES NOT apply, respect for hS is only given so far as it doesn't interfere with spiritual endangerment, god before husband. If he tries to push it this far she may LEAVE with the little one. The best thing is to be as reasonable as possible...perhaps one week the meeting for her second week FAMILY FUN! Guess which will win over little one?!!

    Also another idea is to show that people outside the JWs can FORGIVE! Maybe explain to little one that dubs try to be good because they are scared of punishment...but you are good/ forgive because its the right thing to do! Then ask her...what does she think?!

    Edited to say u must be mad as all hell! This is just a general idea to people who find themselves in this position with a family member...I would dream of telling anyone what to do specifically in their situation!

  • under the radar
    under the radar

    I suspect your wife's parents are already encouraging her to leave you on grounds of "spiritual endangerment." That's a Watchtower contrived excuse to "allow" a couple to separate when neither has committed adultery but one has seen behind the curtain and no longer wants bow to the self-appointed GODs (Guardians of Doctrine) in New York. If your wife does leave, it exposes your child to enhanced indoctrination in Watchtower cult-think without your being there to intervene. That kind of pressure can have a devastating effect on her freedom of thought and reason and her development as an independent-thinking adult capable of making her own decisions based on facts and not superstition.

    Separation like this often leads to divorce. The "faithful" mate (usually the wife) simply waits out the "apostate" mate. Eventually, nature will win out and now the JW can get a "scriptural" divorce and be free to remarry. This often leaves the other (usually the husband) on the hook for alimony and child support even though he has little or no opportunity to counteract the insidious effect of Watchtower propaganda during his child's most crucial formative years.

    I know it's none of my business, but this is what I would recommend, based on my own experience:

    Before this happens, demand that your wife return to you in accord with 1 Cor. 7:13.

    New Living Translation

    "And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living

    with her, she must not leave him."

    Don't attack her religion, or give her any reason to feel her faith is "endangered." The Society says that even a disfellowshipped mate is to be rendered the "marital due," so how much more so a mate that is simply inactive or disinterested. So show her even more affection and let her know your feelings about her religion have no effect on your love and appreciation for her as your wife.

    You would be entirely within your rights as "head of the household" to limit your child's exposure to the Truthâ„¢, ranging from outright forbidding any discussion of it in her presence to simply not requiring her to go to meetings or in field service if she doesn't want to. You could also forbid her to be baptized before she is a legal adult.

    For what it's worth, this exact situation came up when my son was young. I took the moderate approach of requiring him to accompany his mother to meetings out of regard for her feelings, but not out in field service unless he wanted to go. No one was allowed to "study" with him except his mother. I also absolutely forbade his getting baptized before he was 18. He never attended another meeting after he turned 18, except for a couple of Memorials as a special favor to his mom. Now he's an educated, successful adult who can think for himself. I know that's what you want for your child, and here's proof it can be done.

    However you decide to approach this, and whatever happens, please know that you are not alone and we are all rooting for you. Good luck!

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    I just read your first post.

    Are you serious? You did everything except give us your real name!

    Your poor "strategery" is the reason you were found out. Take personal responsibility for your misteaks.

    (Yes, that was intentional. DUH.)

  • PaintedToeNail

    Text or email ALL your sister-in-law's relatives and friends and tell them she cannot be trusted to not snoop through their personal belongings. Tell them not to leave their medical info, credit card statements, medications or other personal info any place that isn't physically locked with an actual key.

    Once knew of a couple who had a bookstudy in their home. A person was using their restroom and snooping through their medicine cabinet every time they went. The couple put marbles in their medicine cabinet. The next time the snooper open their cabinet, the sound of marbles falling into the sink could be clearly heard to all attending the study. The couple were in hysterics, and the snooper was caught and never came to their bookstudy again.

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