I've been found out!

by pale.emperor 135 Replies latest jw experiences

  • flipper
    flipper

    PALE EMPEROR- Hey man- I'm really sorry that you're having to deal with this situation. It really sucks big time. It does sound like your mom and sisters are going to support your decision at least as far as not shunning you. And that is a good thing. My older mom is like that also. I left the organization 13 years ago- and she's never shunned me- always supported my decision.

    As far as dealing with your wife's relatives - that is where the big challenge is going to appear - it seems. One of the biggest challenges you will probably face is not having your brother in laws wife badmouthing you to your young daughter. This WT organization and JW cult indoctrinates these people to be the worst gossips on the planet. AS you've already discovered with your brother in laws wife- many JW's do NOT honor personal boundaries - not even when it comes to turning our young children against us in a personal way. I know. After I left 13 years ago- my fanatic JW ex-wife did EVERYTHING in her power to malign my reputation to my then teenage daughters and my son. My son didn't buy into the crap- but my girls did. It's been hell trying to rekindle a relationship since.

    No easy solutions here. But because your young daughter STILL lives with you- you have that to your advantage. Take the opportunity to make sure NOBODY in your wife's family is feeding your daughter JW BS into her little head about you, INCLUDING your wife. Take the time to spend time with your daughter to do fun things, show her you love her, take her on walks, etc. - because mommy's JW family will probably try to influence your daughter's mind. ALSO- Another biggie in my opinion is this - make sure that you and your wife are on the same page concerning HOW MUCH she will/or will not discuss your religious differences with others or your daughter. Tell her that you do NOT want her using these differences as a dividing tool in order to rob your home of peace. A a JW female- your wife is still a " JW wife " and should at least show you respect as the " head of the house " - at least in JW terms and definitions in a physical or providing way. And emotional way too. Your wife might try assuming the so-called " spiritual headship " on her own- but do NOT let her disrespect you in other ways. You deserve more than that.

    Please know that we are here as a support to you my friend. If you ever want to chat just PM me and I'll give you my number. Hang in there. we've got your back

  • undercover
    undercover

    We are all pale.emperor

    Seriously, we really are, or were at one point. The vast majority of us have been, maybe still are in, a position that if the wrong person found out who our real identity they could wreak havoc in our personal lives.

    The fact that you have to go cloak and dagger just to visit, and partake in, an Internet discussion board to avoid punishment, persecution, being shunned and ostracized proves that we are in, or have been, in a cult.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    A a JW female- your wife is still a " JW wife " and should at least show you respect as the " head of the house " - at least in JW terms and definitions in a physical or providing way. And emotional way too. Your wife might try assuming the so-called " spiritual headship " on her own- but do NOT let her disrespect you in other ways. You deserve more than that.

    This has opportunities. I'm sorry that I do not recall if you remain a "believer" in God & the Bible, but if so, you can continue a "family worship night" with just the Bible and have the chance to plant some seeds with your wife and your daughter (when old enough).

    Good luck,

    Doc

  • Stealth
    Stealth

    For others who are in a similar situation.

    PASSWORD protect your devices! No one can snoop if they can't get past the password.

  • Khaleesi
    Khaleesi

    Soo sorry Pale Emperor you going thru this but I agree your wife & duaghter should be with you... Your wife might be encouraged by her family to leave you because they will tell her, she & ur duaghter are "in spiritual danger" & will miss out on "everlasting life", make sure you stay close to them, be very loving & do family things with them, show them ur still that wonderful husband & father & don't need to be in a cult to prove it...

    About ur in law OMG i wouldn't allow her in ur home anymore, the nerve of her invading ur privacy, it sounds too me she was on a mission, she not only betrayed you but your wife's trust, totally disgusting! They have no boundaries & NO SHAME!!

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    If it were me I would never d/a myself .Deny, obfuscate , give blank looks, and appeal if necessary. Why make their job easy.

    If your family betray you, password your computer..Just say nothing to confirm it . They need two witnesses . Play the headship card

    Whatever you do, good luck...

  • WalkingFree
    WalkingFree

    You gave a lot of details about your wife. My guess after some of the comments you said to her she started to get suspicious and looked on your computer.

  • freemamaof3
    freemamaof3

    pale.emperor- I'm sorry and congrats all at once. Rip that JW personality off like a bandaid lol When i was in my hubs set his foot down about my daughter being baptized. He said he had no problem with me raising her that way and taking her to meetings and conventions. But he said absolutely not on baptism until she was at LEAST 18 and could make an adult decision. Maybe you can approach it that way. He was nice about it and very respectful and it worked for us. But about 5 yrs after that I left the JWs so it doesnt matter now.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Turns out my wife's brothers wife was babysitting my daughter on day and "stumbled upon" my web history on my personal laptop. My login details were pre filled (my fault). So she's read the lot and took pics n shown the elders.....pale.emperor

    Another Typical WBT$/JW Witch..

    Image result for i'll get you and your little dog too

  • TimeBandit
    TimeBandit

    I'm sympathetic, but it seems that part of this is your own fault for not being more careful. You knew what could happen if you were caught and didn't secure your laptop. I guess saying that doesn't help you much now, but still...

    TB-

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