I am in two minds pale emperor.
Had you disclosed private information, especially names and locations, addresses, etc, on this forum for you to be identified beyond all doubt? If so, did any other posters offer a kindly caution about doing so?
Also, why would an elder confront you about such a serious matter over the phone and not ask to see you in person with another elder present?
Why did you agree to talking on the phone about this matter?
It very much sounds like you collapsed into confession mode - yet, if what you say is accurate, your privacy was unjustifiably breached? I'm also interested in who outed you and how?
I'm trying to show respect for your situation - yet am bothered by lots of questions - because you are more or less saying that someone else on this forum turned you in - or had access to the members only section.