"Congratulations" - WHY?

by Prisca 86 Replies latest jw friends

  • Prisca

    Why is it a social custom to say "congratulations" to a guy when his wife/gf has had/is having a baby?

    What has he done to deserve the sentiments? All he's done is have an orgasm and spurt some semen into her? So what's so special about that?

    Meanwhile it's the woman's body that is carrying and nurturing the baby. It's she who has to go through childbirth, a process that changes her body forever. If anyone deserves to be congratulated, it's her.

    Don't take me wrong, I'm not male-bashing here (I love men) but just trying to make sense of this world we live in.

  • stillajwexelder

    There is nothing more primal (especially if you do not believe in God) of passing on ones genes (THE KEY Driving force in evolution)-- now I am a male -- but I always congratulate other males on the birth of their babies. On the semen remark -- yes -- the Koran says -- Man is but a spurt of ejected semen -- so you are correct -- but again very primal.

  • tink
    All he's done is have an orgasm and spurt some semen into her? So what's so special about that?

    well by that token, what's so special about any of it? babies are born every single day. it's completely normal and routine.

    personally, i think that if congrats are being handed out, the father should be a recipient just as the mother. first of all, he *did* help make that new little person. secondly, and more importantly, good fathers are becoming more and more scarce these days and i think it's well worth congratulating someone who plans to play an active role in the life of their child.

    just my $.02

  • Valis

    Well why not would be my question. One assumes that the birth of a child is a happy thing, albeit painful for the mother physically. If more people were involved in loving other people's kids we would have a happier and safer world to live in. I am a father and a godfather, both of which I am proud of and wouldn't change it for the world.


    District Overbeer

  • Simon

    hear hear ... being a dad is one of the most awesome responsibilities in the world. You have a pregnant wife and a future child to take care of.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I would say that these days Congrats are in order for any man who accepts the responsibilities of parenthood. There are too many who don't.

  • ScoobySnax

    ....I must remember to congratulate myself a bit later.............

  • avishai

    Because having a child is one of the most wonderful, wonderful, crazy, nerve-wracking things that can happen. I may not have carried her, but I take care of her all the time, I'm doing the Mr. Mom thing right now, & as she happily babbles in the background, I wonder how my life would have been otherwise. It changes you so much. For those absent father types, I have no patience for them, or absent mothers or either parent that keeps a good parent away from their kids out of spite!

    Here is my little girl!

  • jgnat

    A co-worker just became a grandma. She glows with an inner light as bright as if it were her wedding night. I know how she feels. I was the same way when my Naomi was born. I swear the grass was greener, the sun shinier, and the sky bluer. I was in love.

    A new life to watch unfold.

    My co-worker was handing out chocolate cigars the very next day. Why would I bother to congratulate her? It is not as if she did anything to contribute to the creation of that little soul.


    On a cultural side-note, an african friend of mine surprised me by squealing with delight when I told her I became an aunt. In her culture, a neice or nephew are as welcomed as a mother's own child. All the aunts contribute in the raising of that child. You know, the village thing.


    I say, pat the man on the back. Congratulate him. He is gonna need all the encouragement he can get for the coming years.

  • Prisca

    So if it's because "he's gonna be a caring father" - shouldn't the congratulations and back-slapping occur after a period of time, once that a father has proved himself worthy of carrying that title?

    It's easy to say you'll look after a cute little baby when it's all wrapped up in a tiny bundle in the hospital - it's another matter when things get tough, when the kid is playing up, when the kid becomes a trouble-filled teenager.

    That's when being a father really comes into play.

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