It's been a long 9 years Lloyd Evans / John Cedars

by Newly Enlightened 11530 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • Diogenesister
    Trying to have a relationship with a narcissist eventually damages the non-narcissist.

    Hi I meant to write "one extreme OR the other" so in other words some JW kids grow up to be narcissists and some spend their lives centering others and develop no boundaries.

    And yes I grew up with a narcissist then married one and I'm always second guessing myself as to whether I've developed narcissistic tendencies. I'm sure I have. These men were always in competition with their own kids and so if my kids show concern toward me I'm terrified I'm 'making it about me'. Since my father always did, as did my first husband.

  • TonusOH

    We're born selfish, in large part because we're also born helpless. An infant knows only that it wants things and that, if it cries out, it will get the attention it needs. At some point, parents begin to teach it empathy and sympathy, helping to form the basis of a basic moral and ethical foundation. Even those feelings are based, to some degree, on self-interest. We're not perfect, but we do what we can to survive and thrive.

    I think that narcissists have that developmental stage derailed or improperly managed, so they do not develop a proper emphatic/sympathetic approach to socializing. They do not recognize that everyone else also has some level of self-interest; they see only their own needs and wants, and everyone else is there to satisfy them, just as they were when that individual was a helpless infant. As they become older and more knowledgeable, their methods of manipulation become more sophisticated. Few people will treat grown-ups like helpless babies, after all.

    I wouldn't say that it's impossible to overcome, but the type of life-changing epiphany that is required is not something that can be easily produced, nor does it come along very often in our lives (and for some people, it never happens at all). It's something of a curse, in that it can get you ahead for a short time with the people you meet, but over time they recognize that the relationship is very one-sided and they come to resent it. The narcissist leaves a trail of people who are bitter and angry at them, and they are unable to understand why.

  • Vintage

    Diogenesister, I wasn’t disagreeing with you at all. You made good points.

  • Vintage

    I’d love to see it, Debra. Will it fit into the private message box here on this forum? If not, through the private message box, please let me know how to contact you.

  • Toblerone5
    Lloyd is. Per his own account, people say he's an "amazing vocalist"

    Shut the front door! when he went to that convention in Houston, he Karaoke the song walk of life dire straits, and posted that on one of his youtube channel, I did a parody? video on that here . , (if you want to have the link to his video just ask me and i will give it to you) anyway He Sing Horribly!

  • Vintage

    TonusOH, your post reminds me of something I heard from a sweet, young friend that I had, decades ago. She was a witness daughter, possibly baptized, who had broken off a relationship with one “worldly boy”, but had now fallen in love with a different “worldly boy” who she later went on to marry. She and I were sharing a meal at a restaurant. She explained that she had been very devoted to that first boyfriend and would always listen to his stories of his successes and battles,... his hopes and his dreams, and would give him encouragement and support whenever she could. But, after a small event in which he ridiculed her for being in love with him, she saw that her relationship with him was always “her giving understanding to him”, but never the other way around, and she ended the relationship. She had good sense. Not everyone does.

  •  Debra

    Yes it did fit into the message box at the top

  • GabeAthouse
  • Vintage

    Diogenesister said...

    These men were always in competition with their own kids ...”

    When a kid’s mother AND father are both narcissists, AND both parents are JWs, how many whammys are we seeing? Double whammy? (the parents) Triple whammy? (Watchtower cult is in the mix) Quadruple whammy? (Watchtower cult is in each of the two narcisistic parents)

    Like the men you mention, narcissist mothers also compete with their own kids. To avoid redundancy, sometimes one parent or the other actively interacts with the kids, while the other ignores them. So when BOTH parents are narcissists, and BOTH are owned by the Borg,... that leaves JW kids who receive no natural affection.

  • Thisismein1972

    I have to say well done to each and every one of you here. We have reached 473 pages on this thread and only a select few have tried to start a flame war, but promptly had the door shut in their faces (no pun intended. 😂)

    Just demonstrates how one person who is well known to cause division has actually brought people together.

    Sorry lloyd, said no one ever!

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