Thanks Nicolaou, I'm doing a lot better than I was. :) As time goes on and I get different treatments my doctors and I learn more about what works and what doesn't (it's so idiosyncratic) and it gets easier.
I suspect Lloyd was a real zealot as a young JW and still would be except they kicked him out. So, not being the kind of person to just go away, he went away mad and turned his energy toward "getting even" with the group that rejected him.
He's said in a few of his videos and his book that he was like a wannabe elder when he was a kid, like the class policeman - even the other JW kids didn't like him because he'd tell on them to the elders. He certainly sounded pretty zealous, or at least, if he wasn't zealous about the doctrine he liked the power trip of enforcing it.