Family is now reaping what they sowed and they don't like it.

by Gemmel 76 Replies latest jw experiences

  • lastmanstanding

    I know why I would do in this situation. I would agree that my parents need help and then say that “our church will take up a collection for them” and that “our pastor wil come with me to Hospital to pray with him/her”

  • sparrowdown

    Their own shunning policy is biting them on the ass.

  • jwfacts

    I agree with what you did. It is important that toxic family, including those pushed into acting that way, are shown that their behavior is not acceptable. Whilst it may be too late to fix your family, hopefully it will get the younger generations thinking.

  • alecholmesthedetective
    I hadn't even thought of that aspect, I was just feeling the need to vent a bit, glad it helped.

    Even though it's been years and the Watchtower has little power over my life today, this website is still kind of 'group therapy session' for me - reading your experiences, etc. Some wounds never fully heal. Also, as long as I have family and old friends still in it I will still need to see the Watchtower suffer the consequences of their bullying behaviour be it losing money or members, or being exposed for all to see, you name it.

  • GrreatTeacher

    Yes, you can't treat someone as if they're dead and then resurrect them when you need their money.

    They don't have that power. Only their God Jehovah does.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    For what it is worth, I agree with yourdecision 101.3%! I understand what you've been subjected to and the pain it caused you. Now that their poor planning has paid off so nhandsomly, they expect YOU to fill the GAP. Why? "Well, because we were RIGHT all along, and YOU KNOW IT!" they'd answer.

    Let them eat their stale, past-its-pull date coffeecake! It tastes just like all the other Watchtower prophecies -- it tastes like dust!

    ...and hey! Didn't I see you at the Atheist Church last Thursday?*

    * a clever toying with the "Atheism is a religion" and "last Thursday-ism" memes, brought to you by --- me!

  • Stirred

    What if you show a kindness that they did not show to you? That you extend some flower? ....share your feelings with your mother and brother about what was and what is. That you've mourned having family and a mother. You can't change the past and their actions had an impact to make you never want to align with an unloving organization and that their being left to fend for themselves without support is like how you were treated. You could send a token amount of money $50-100 or whatever you are comfortable with .... in memory of the mom you once knew, once loved, and mourned. You can share that you found out about her efforts to keep you isolated. In her warped hopes that you'd return to the organization because you missed family.

    Their desperate outreach is evidence you can use that they 1) still consider you family and 2) have no support from their so-called friends or organization, despite all that they have done to be "good witnesses." I feel pity for them as they no doubt are pondering so much now in their desperate state. Christ was forgiving and not seeking revenge. At his death, he prayed for his enemies for they "knew not what they do".

    Your success is your greatest revenge. Your mercy and extending some flower of peace would be another kind of success. Yours, of course, to choose. As a mother myself, I can't imagine cutting off my sons (and she did keep some communication, right?) and never seeing them again. But also can see one pressured by the peers she kept to be diligent about shunning to try hard to bring you back into compliance.

    Forever cutting off or peace gift and message on her last journey to death and possible great remorse - it is your choice this time. I feel for you on the difficult journey you've traveled and hope that she could be moved to open her heart to regret and forgiveness. Sadly, I realize this may not happen and know of others in my family still suffering from distanced parental relations even though they were never baptized. Wishing you strength and peace in whatever decision you choose.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Ignore the counsel of milquetoasts.

  • Disassociated Lady 2
    Disassociated Lady 2

    My mums in her 80s. My eldest brother is an elder who moved over 300 miles away even though she needed care. I am in her eyes the black sheep and DF so she wants nothing to do with me. My sister is inactive but was always the favoured child so for her it has been 'payback' time and she is doing the caring. The JWS are letting her do that even though she is inactive so that they dont have to. I will help my sister after my mum has died, but I will not get involved now. :-/ x

  • LongHairGal


    I agree with you. Some people just don’t get it. The JWs have caused REAL damage with their shunning policies and certain people think they should be rewarded for their bad behavior! (I sometimes wonder if some of these particular JWs are expecting that THEY will be asking money from shunned relatives!)

    There are those who say ‘be the better person’ 🤮 etc. That all DEPENDS on how drastic the shunning was and how much hardship the shunned person endured. Did the person have sporadic contact with shunning parents? Maybe it wasn’t so great but it was crumbs off the table..OR was it so bad that the shunned person was a young adult made homeless who had to scratch their way out of poverty and is now an adult with traumatic memories? Also, what if the shunned person was a victim of abuse and that’s why they are out?? This ALL figures into how much (if any) help would ever be given to elderly shunning Witness parents/siblings.

    If I had some contact with shunning parents or siblings who didn’t always treat me like an outcast, I might buy them groceries so they aren’t starving but THEN I would tell them ‘that’s it’ and they better go ask the brothers for a job or money. However, if I was treated like shit like the original poster was, they would certainly get nothing from me and I would explain why.

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