Family is now reaping what they sowed and they don't like it.

by Gemmel 76 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Gemmel

    I resigned from the JW's in my 20's over 30 years ago, I was immediately shunned by my entire family and it's remained that way with a few exceptions ever since. One of those exceptions was being contacted by a cousin a few years back and during that conversation I discovered that my mother had been and still was the prime mover in my complete and continuing shunning. I then used what contacts I had left to confirm it. To say that was the shock of my life would be an understatement, my mother was the only one I had had real contact with and I'd always assumed she was just being subservient to the organisation.

    I left simply as a matter of honesty, I couldn't preach any longer for a religion that I considered to be wrong, since then I've traveled from agnostic to atheist. I also had no clue that my family would react so strongly, I knew family members kept in contact with those that had been DF'd but I guess I was a whole different level telling them I didn't believe and leaving.

    So I was with somewhat surprised that I got a phone call from my brother who I've only spoken to twice in 30+ years. The reason for the call was simple, he wanted money. It seems my mother who is now in her 80's requires care and he expected me to help. It seems my family as so many others have worked low paying, low skilled jobs as so many other JW's do waiting for their god to kill everyone. Whereas I worked my arse off and went back to school and had a reasonable career so that I'm in the position to retire a little early and enjoy life.

    From the title I'm sure you know what my answer was. I've been expecting a call of this type and had decided well before what my answer would be. I must admit I did enjoy throwing back at him one of their favorite sayings.

    I understand many here will not agree with my decision and that's ok, it's my life experience and no one can know what I went through losing my family and the sense of betrayal I felt that affected every aspect of my life. I'm honestly surprised I'm still alive, I never through I'd make 50. I expected to suicide well before then but I learned coping mechanisms.

    As to what they are going to do about the care needed by their mother I don't really care. They stopped being my family by their decision 30+ years ago and I stopped mourning for the family I thought I knew years ago.

    No really sure why I've decided to share this but here it is.


  • ThomasCovenant

    Another tragedy from a mistaken belief in a sky god.

  • jamiebowers

    Good for you. Enjoy your early retirement!

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    I fully understand your position as I have had no contact with my toxic parents for 25 years. At my father's funeral at the beginning of the year it would have appeared to those who didn't know that my parents had just the one child, my brother. No daughter at all.

    My mother had a stroke and unfortunately now has no kind and caring daughter to care for her. My brother certainly won't.

    What goes around comes around. Such is life. X

  • I Faded Twice
    I Faded Twice

    Karma's a bitch like that sometimes.

  • nowwhat?

    You handled that perfectly. I would have added why can't the organization that you put all your faith and trust in help her out? Other churches have charity programs why doesn't the one and true religion have one?

  • WingCommander

    Hey man, no need for apologies or explanation. You did exactly what I would have done if my mother had disowned me, and then proceeded to enforce the shunning via everyone else as well. F*ck 'em!!!!

    Hope you told your wanker brother to promptly "Toss off", and that he should seek proper financial aide from the Almighty Org, since they are his and her "Spiritual Family". I mean, after all, "Jehovah provides!!!!" Maybe the Almighty Org and it's Shepherds could find it in their hearts to open up their greedy coffers and actually send some financial aide BACK to the very members who donated and slaved for free for them all those years? Hmmmmm?

    Your brother probably had the reality cheque of his life on that phone call. Maybe it'll wake his dumb ass up? Bravo for standing your ground and not letting these toxic assholes weasel any money out of you via some guilt trip.

  • nugget

    It is a tragedy of their own making. They would happily take your money but there would be no change in circumstances. They would have been financially off the hook but this would not mean you were back in the family.

    I am glad you have made the most of your life it is a hard road with no family support.

  • truth_b_known

    Before I was out of the organization and just inactive my mother took down all the photos of myself, my wife, and my children. Since I have been completely out I have not spoken to her in nearly a decade. This past weekend my sister poster a photo of my parents and my nieces. It was taken at their one day assembly. It hurt to think that my parents have nothing to do my children simply because I do not want to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

    I know the real loss is theirs and theirs alone. It still terribly troubling to me.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Sounds like the same response many of us would have given.

    I guess it must be true that Jehover is running short on CA$H or he would have provided better for her.

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