BlackWolf wrote: my biggest problem right now is the pressure to get baptized. I've told my mom I'm not ready yet but she bothers me about it constantly. I'm starting to run out of excuses.
Has your mom specifically told you *why* she wants you baptized asap??
In my mom's case, she was anxious for my brother(s) to get baptized because she felt that then he/they would become the congregation's (elder's) problem. She just did not want to have to 'deal' with her son(s) training and discipline anymore.
She may say that she is pressuring you out of love and concern. If she does, thank her for her love and concern and reassure her that you are really secure in your own personal relationship with Jehovah.
If you suspect her ulterior motives (like trying to dodge her own personal god-given responsibilities), consider asking her if that is where her 'push' is coming from. THEN you two will have a better understanding of what the real issue is and you can begin to communicate on a more honest level.
Either way, let her know that you sincerely appreciate that she is trying to help keep you safe, but, infact, she is starting to smother you. It's becoming 'smother love', and it just does not feel healthy to you.
I'm guessing that your mother (like mine) did *NOT* grow up as a JW. And likely, as a teenager, she behaved in a way that would not be acceptable within the confines of a Kingdom Hall.
It seems that she has no clue about what it is like to grow up in the JW organization. And she's letting the old guys in Brooklyn/Warwick tell her how to prevent her daughter from making the mistakes she made when she was worldly young-adult woman. In that case, it might help to let her that you appreciate her efforts and you understand why she pushes as she does. But you need to start gaining a little more freedom to acquire necessary life skills outside of the home and Kingdom Hall and you promise to respect her, and her house rules, and you will continue to draw strength and guidance from your relationship with Jehovah. You will aim to continue to make her proud in everything you do.
And you will get baptized when you feel you are ready. Right now, you just feel way too young and too smothered to make an honest, life-long decision for yourself. [See also the comment by 'WitnessMyFury' a few posts above.]
Because, afterall, Baptism is supposed to be a personal decision and committment. Right?!!?!!?
Also, No more finding excuses with your mom about baptism. First find out specifically *why* she is pressuring you to do something that should really just bubble forth from within yourself. After that, when she mentions it, just cheerfully remind her "You are trying to pressure me, mom, for something I know in my heart I'm not ready for", or, "Smother Loving is intruding on [or distracting me from] development of my relationship and trust in Jehovah. It's not helping, mom." Then give her a quick kiss, a quick, gentle hug, a big, genuine smile and leave the room to get on with something more pleasant. Get dinner started. Straighten up the living room. Go for a just walk to clear your head. Take a shower. Something to put physical distance between the two of you but make it an activity that is constructive so she can tangibly see that you are making good life choices even though you are resisting her efforts to conform to her manipulative techniques.
All the best to you as you steadily make your way through the next few months.