Kelpie,
I lost two babies, both at about nine weeks. I had experiences very similiar to yours at the hospital, and even though it's been almost ten and eight years since they happened, the experiences are still very much a part of me and so are those babies I never got to hold...I wrote about it extensively as therapy, some of it is still up on the web at my site.
Please keep talking about it as long as you need to. Keeping it inside will hurt more.
There is an EXCELLENT book (the only one I found not to be insulting!) about coping with the death of a baby through miscarriage, if you would like the title and author let me know.
I have been where you are, sweetheart, and I know how you are grieving. If you want to e mail me my addy is [email protected] i will try to reply quickly as I can.
There is lots of support and love here for you...and remember, even though your baby isn't with you now, you ARE a mother, and always be the mother of the precious life you carried inside of you. I am certain that your baby knew more love in the time you carried it than many children know in their entire lives.
Please know this: you did NOTHING wrong, you did EVERYTHING you could do to protect your baby, and NOTHING YOU DID could've caused this. Those were the things I wish someone had told me after my two babies died.
((((((((((((((((((((((Kelpie and Rick)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm so glad Rick is supporting you so much emotionally, this must be very hard for him too. My ex shut me out, and that prolonged my grief because I was grieving alone. He sounds like a fine man.
If you're comfortable doing so, and need to talk, please do not hesitate to write to me. Many people say nothing to the parents when this happens because they don't know what to say, but the silence is the worst. Even just an "I'm sorry" is better than silence. And hugs do help, too...
Just reading your post I was right back in the ER the day I lost my second baby, the memories are so vivid, and I can sympathize with you so much, sweetheart.
I am so, so sorry about your baby. My heart aches along with yours.
hugs,
essie
www.ghostwriter.homestead.com
