Why did the U.S. send so many women to fight the war in Iraq ?
They're mad as hell, fight like animals, and.............they retain water for 4 days !
Time for a 'bad joke' thread (groan)
by Simon 101 Replies latest social humour
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xjw_b12
How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
One...............to pray for the light to go back on by itself !
What is the worst thing about being an athiest ?
You have no one to holler out to when you're having an orgasm !
What do you get when you cross an agnostic with a Jehovah's Witness ?
Someone who calls on your door Saturday morning for no particular reason !
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Dansk
A woman goes to her doctor and says:
"I am the Managing Director of a large multinational corporation. I've always been very career-minded and I'm pleased with how my life's gone. Every day I have numerous underlings in my office for meetings and I know they treat me with the utmost respect. Unfortunately, I've been suffering from severe flatulence of late. It comes on in every meeting but, happily, no-one notices because when I break wind it is always silent and never smells. Is there something you can give me to cure this complaint?"
The doctor, who is sitting opposite the woman behind his desk, has been listening intently and now looks down at his prescription pad and starts to write away. He then tears off his prescription from the pad and hands it to the executive woman.
The woman looks at the prescription and with great incredulity says loudly " A NASAL SPRAY?"
"Yes", said the doctor so matter of factly. "Come back next week and I'll syringe your ears!"
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Surreptitious
I'll get in trouble for this one....
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be open by the time she brings it to ya.
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Jourles
Here's another one that will guarantee you getting hit by a woman:
Q. What do you say to a woman with a black eye?
A. Nothing. She's already been told once!
and
Q. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of love?
A. The swallow.
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calamityjane
A prisoner escapes from prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed, gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom. While he is there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. I saw the way he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong honey. I love you." To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. Love you too."
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searchfothetruth
Bad Jokes?...
What would be the best way to reunite the BEATLES.?
2 more bullets
sorry
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LittleToe
A man walks into a bar..
He says "Ouch!!!"
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foreword
A few blondes are in a bar. Everytime they order a round, they stand up, toast and yell....
51 DAYS..... 51 DAYS.....51 DAYS.....
The bartender is intrigued so he walks up to the table and asks what all the celebrating is about....
One of the blonde girl replies.....
We've completed a puzzle in 51 days but the box said "3 to 5 years"
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