Time for a 'bad joke' thread (groan)

by Simon 101 Replies latest social humour

  • Dansk

    Two flies landed on a saucer and decided to play a game of football (soccer). One said to the other "You'd better play a lot better than this next week!"

    His companion asked "Why?"

    The first replied: "Because we're playing in the cup!"

    Incidentally, why should we all eat poo?

    Because 10,000,000 flies can't all be wrong!

    Two homosexual cowboys talking to each other:




    Celine Dion walks into a bar.

    Bartender turns to her and asks: WHY THE LONG FACE ?

  • StinkyPantz


    That was funny!!

  • hippikon

    How do you know when a blond is having a bad day?

    She has a tampon behind her ear and cant find her pencil.

  • Dansk

    LOL @ Ray. That WAS funny!

  • hippikon
  • Sirona

    A bear goes into a bar and says "could I have a ....





    beer, please"

    The barman replies "yes, but why the big pause?"


  • Sirona

    a piece of black tarmac goes into a bar, bragging about how tough he is.

    Then a red piece of tarmac came in, and the black tarmac began cowering behind a table.

    The barman says "hey black tarmac, I thought you were so tough! why you cowering?"

    The black tarmac says "yes, I am tough, but he's a bloody cycle-path!"


  • Englishman

    Been rained off work, but not before my customer told me this about herself:

    "My name is Rose, but my friends call me Rambling Rose. Nothing special in a bed but great up against a wall".


  • xjw_b12

    A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the
    middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the
    rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

    The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets
    out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is
    dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

    A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the
    side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man
    what's wrong.

    "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed

    The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray
    can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the
    contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of
    the! m and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns
    around and waves again, he hoped down the road another 10 feet, turns and
    waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and
    again and again, until he hops out of sight.

    The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in
    that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

    The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It

    (Are you sure?)
    (This is bad!)
    (It's not even a Blonde Joke!)
    (You know you could just click off and not read the punch line....)

    (You know you're gonna be sorry)
    (Last chance)
    (OK, here it is)

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