A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?"
Time for a 'bad joke' thread (groan)
by Simon 101 Replies latest social humour
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Dansk
Ed Zachary Syndrome A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well-known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang, so she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now, get down on aw fos and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did. Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Syndrome. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates." Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Syndrome?" Dr. Chang sighed deeply, and replied: "Ed Zachary Syndrome is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass."
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qwerty
- Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?
- They're making headlines!
- What do you say when a dog runs away?
- Dog-gone!
- Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
- They all have phones.
- What do you call a clock on the moon?
- A lunartick.
I stole a futon from a shop. I think the police are after me, so I have been lying low.
And the best yet!................
I came home the other day to find my girlfriend dipping twenty dollar bills in batter and frying them. I said, "There you go again, frittering our money away!"
Qwerty
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ESTEE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.
A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" asks the blonde.
"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."
"Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"ESTEE <-------------of the "blond-streaks-don't-count" class
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Eric
For fans of this sort of thing, the most elaborate buildup to the most clever yet unsatisfying punchline ever has to be the short story written by Isaac Asimov:
Shah Guido G.
Enjoy!
Eric
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Scully
ESTEE writes:
A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure? [...] Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."
She couldn't have been in Ontario. We "decriminalized" public frontal nudity years ago.
I think Toronto should somehow work that little tidbit into its tourism campaigns to help boost the numbers of visitors they get, to lessen the impact that SARS is going to have on their economy....
Love, Scully
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bebu
2 Lightbulb jokes (--given by my Jewish friend):
How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three; one to calll the cleaning woman and two to feel guilty about calling the cleaning woman.
How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. No, it's okay, I'll sit in the dark...
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Uzzah
Special joke annually told on this day...
May the Fourth be with you
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Uzzah
A small boy was lost at a Shopping Mall . He approached a uniformed Security Guard and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The Security Officer asks, "What's your Dad like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big tits."
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Scully
JH wrote (here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/51365/733701/post.ashx#733701)
I won't eat in a restaurant that serves Pepsi.
Why are French-Canadian guys called Pepsi's?
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Because they are both empty from the neck up.