Back from the Memorial
Well, Scooby, I'm back home now. I assume you're in bed and will not read this until tomorrow.
I assume you took my comment about being "proud" to mean I am in some way haughty or the "center of attention" as you put it. No, you are wrong yet again. What I meant was, I have nothing to be ashamed of, despite the horrific lies told - and by many believed - by my ex-husband. I can hold my head high, not in arrogant pride, but in the knowledge that I am far more morally clean than some there who are regular attenders. As someone who spent over 30 years as an "inner circle" Witness, I can attest to the fact that many who gave you smiles and hugs tonight have nasty secrets.
Then again, many are genuinely good people....just like every other group you might assemble with.
When I first read your words to me, I was highly offended and reacted with anger. Raising my two wonderful daughters is one of the best things I ever did in life and I tend to get a bit pissy when someone has the ignorant audacity to suggest either of them are unlucky.
Since I've had time to mellow, I will retract any hurtful words or phrases I directed towards you, except this: Judgemental people who act just as you did in this post are exactly why myself and others left the Kingdom Hall. Your sanctimonious, simpering, superiority is the complete antithesis of what Jesus taught.
Your conduct, and that of many of those well-wishers you saw tonight, is more typical of the Pharisees of Jesus day; they have an outward form of devotion, devoid of substance or practical application.
My daughter, in case you're interested, hugged me and thanked me for being there with her...as did her husband and his family. I'm glad she was pleased. One of many small and great sacrafices I have made for her happiness.
Oh, and about the "editing". For reasons I have not been able to understand, each reply post of mine has been preceeded by two or more blank posts. I am not editing at all, nor do I know how to do so since the forum change.
Just this afternoon, when I was lonely and afraid, I thought about the love I used to experience at the KH. I guess I was one of the fortunate ones, I rarely had any problems with the brothers or sisters and always felt that they genuinely loved me. I know I loved them. Don't get me wrong, there was ocassionally a problem, but we always worked it out.
I was thinking about the brothers and sisters today and the love we always had for each other. I decided that I would probably go back to the KH and just ignore doctrine--which I know to be incorrect, because all that truly matters is the love that is shared. But after reading your post, I don't know if I can do that. You claim to be a JW and yet, I see how you are here acting superior to good people. You are not acting very loving at all. Maybe the love at the KH is a sham afterall. I am disappointed in you and I think that you have given me a sign to re-think my decision to go back.
Thanks Scooby. Now I am back to feeling like shit.
Well i just got back form the Memorial, and well it was not all loving and warm like scobbysnax had. Two or three couples spoke to us, not one elder. An elder came up to some people who had apparently just showed up for the first time, and they were all over them. they did not even acknowledge us.We were generally ignored. it hit my husband hard. he told me he feels conflict. Part of it is the area we are in. My husband and i are from decent working class people.Not people who hung out in bars or bowling alleys, ( stuff u might associate with rednecks) but people who worked hard and went to chruch on sunday.. The people in our cong. are upper mangement people, people who go to Italy for vacations. I do not begrudge them that, but we have little in common. My husband thinks maybe if we lived in a less affluent area, we might fare better. I felt so sorry for him , he saw the spanish cong coming in after us, and they were driving much less fancy cars-and he said"we could fit in there".I could have cried for him. Clinging on to anything. And it is not like we were dressed tacky. We looked as good or better than some. It's his job. he does not fit with the brothers. he's an intelligent man that never went to college. Bu the is well read. But he does not fit with this group.Now i feel so bad for him. this is the only religion he's ever known , and at the very best, they are no different than any other religion. One thing i did think about during the "talk". I know i could never disrupt a meeting. I still believe in jehovah. I would not want to disrespect a house of worship. Also, maybe someone who is versed in the bible can help me here. jesus did talk about "the other sheep". does that not indicate 2 different hopes? Other than that the talk was dry. I swear this is like going to a high school reunion. Nerve wrecking. I started another thread beferoe i saw this thread, so i post over here too. Sorry about the double post.
Don't feel like shit, Robyn. You are thought of fondly by many here, including myself. That, in itself, is way more "real" than anything either of us experienced at the Kingdom Hall. At least it won't evaporate like a wet Kleenex the moment trouble arrives.
Hang in there, sis.
I certainly don't think all JWs are bad or uncaring. I didn't go to the KH for the memorial because I would have received the same reception as Wednesday (Wednesday - I am so sorry you and your husband suffered at the hands of a bunch of ignorant people). I just could not go through with it - all the falseness, the pretend love, the gossip as soon as my back was turned etc. I know a lot of them dislike me. My congregation is just like Wednesday's - full of affluent peole who look down on the working-class. I know you get people like that everywhere, but this is supposed to be God's true organisation. Don't you think it should stand out as different? Don't you think that the people should be loving and caring, whatever congregation you go to and however rich they are?
Your congregation sounds really nice - many are not. There were many good people attending my KH last night - I mean, my family were there and they mean a lot to me. But I still could not go because the whole thing is meaningless. And as it turns out, the whole evening was so good and hubby was in such a good mood - not going was the best decision I have made in a long time.
By the way - as I have said before, do you think these people you are raving about would treat you so well if they knew the sort of life you are leading at the moment? You have posted on here that you get up to all sorts. That is your choice, but that is NOT how JWs would see it. If just one found out, they would drop you in it big time and pat themselves on the back for being good little 'christian' snitches. Watch your back!
Well scooby, you have to remember that your in a forum filled with xjw's. If they didn't leave the org, then they were booted out for one reason or another. Ifyour not an xjw with the obligatory "here's my story" then be prepared to be shunned and ridiculed here. It's all part of the game. Most here despise the jw religion and try desperately to integrate back into "normal society". That's why many begin to celebrate all the holidays and re adjust back to into "wordly-mode" Ultimately, they assume it's easier to burry the pain and then re-establish a link with the world. Reading some of the "experiences" of some of the posters on this forum you have to wonder whether they ever had any real faith in Jehovah or was it more of a faith in the org itself. When I started reading posts about being pro-war, joining the military, taking up smoking and all other forms of debauchery that's when I realised that any faith in jehovah that these people may have had all but disappeared long, long ago. I suggest you stay on this forum, scooby. It's interesting to read and understand what your NOT missing by dumping your faith in Jehovah.