thanks for the replys. My husband and I talked when he got home from work. I told him I'm unhappy and would like to lead seperate lives until we can get divorced. It wasn't very emotional and he said "whatever" . I wouldn't feel a bit of guilt and I really don't understand the loss of self respect. I think I'd respect myself more for no longer being a doormat whose been treated like shit.
My husband and I bought a summer home in the mountains. Its a cabin and not too nice but its got electricity , water everything I'd need and I could move up there. Its close to a ski area and small towns where I could find a job. Its a real cool place and its beautiful. After we divide up our money I could build a small house. I'm sitting here thinking about how I can move on with my life.