Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
Hi Wounded Heart,
Just wanted to thankyou for the web site referral,
which I found to be very informative and helpful.
Also, i really appreciate you taking the time to answer
my questions. I think after reading more on DID I've
discovered that I may suffer mildly from this disorder.
But once I start seeing a psy. doctor I'll know for sure.
Keep telling us more about your struggle if you can.
Your personal revelations have been helping me a great deal.
May God keep blessing you,
hey wounded heart aka Kath,
I know it's easier/harder speaking at different moments. Sorry you're having some problems now. Sounds like you've done a marvelous job of your ground work. Your system seems in tack and working together - congratulations. I've never felt the need to intergrate as some others do. I don't think that my mpd/did is active now - but during my younger years - I think I bounced a lot, to say the least. But I don't feel the need (much) to recollect some of the years/experiences. I've been able to rebuild my past to at least know enough of what my life was like on "the other side." Amazing what childhood friends remember if you go back and visit.
You're about 3 years older than my daughter, who was molested also. There seems no end to us types, eh? Well, the truth of the matter is, there probably will be no end to us types. We are the result of persons' actions, and I suspect persons will always act out against children.
But the more we talk, the more other persons with children might look and listen to their kids. They can't stop all predators - but they can learn to actually see their kids, before and after they've been hurt. It seems that my generation and before were champions of turning their heads the other way. We did your generation little good in that respect.
I hope we can chat a bit - would be nice. Take care - and thanks for responding. I appreciate your words.
I have been reading yours posts and just had to let
you know that your words are always encouraging.
I've found your tone to be always soothing and refreshing.
Thank you. I've read your posts also - good to see you stick up for your side of the discussion.
Your name is pretty, btw.
hello all, its me again. more answers.....
Waiting - thank you so much for your words. i dont feel courageous. but we will take your word for it. im sorry to hear that you have had to go thru anything like this... i appreciate the support you have shown and offered me. i would be interested in the link or url to Sidron and Randy Watter's sites if you have them. im on my 4th T. shes the best so far...i get to chose where and how i wish T to go. the 1st T i went to was an elder who was a T. he screwed with my mind big time and hypnotized me with out permission. he actually made me more suicidal each time i saw him. so i, unfortuanately, found out the hard way. and if i could say anything at all that someone would listen to it would be this (for those reading this): DO NOT GO TO A JW FOR THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was my biggest mistake ever. they are the worst! they are NOT professional! they are not able to seperate the jw from the t part. and they give the worst advice. ugh! im sorry that you had to find out the hard way too waiting. it sux! i kinda envy you waiting, i have yet to find my soulmate and thus rely on some very close friends that have helped keep me grounded. at this point we have no interest at all in integrating. its just not for us. we all like the different (most anyway) personalities we have. we didnt always. now we do, and do not wish to see that end.
please feel free to email me. i tend to be shy (i know i know LOL). but i would really enjoy conversing with you. im just not sure where to start (believe it or not). :o) i look forward to talking with you in email if the offer still stands. :o)
goo - thank you for responding. good to know others are reading this.
had enough - since you mentioned sybil & eve, you might like to check out some other books by multiples such as Cameron West's First Person Plural or a book called the Flock by a woman (cant remember her name). there are many more resources out there to help explain this DIDness. one thing ive learned is that each DID person is different from the next....like a snowflake. everyone's system is set up differently. there are simularities but i have yet to hear of systems being exactly alike. i completely agree with you that people need to be educated about MPD/DIDness. i truly wish doctors would start learning about this uniqueness. personally, i do not agree it is a disorder---there is way too much order within. amazingly so. altho i tend not to see it in myself, i agree that there is much creativity and intelligence involved with this uniqueness. i would be very interested to hear what you find about the borg and their view of DID. as far as i heard there was only 1 article ever written about it but it was years ago and i dont have the cdroms so wasnt able to find it. i find it very doubtful that they have written anything since. at least i havent seen it in any of the mags thus far. please let me know if you should come up with anything. id really appreciate it. as far as the elders in my cong they do not bother with anything ive said about my own DIDness. and i wasnt asking them to do anything about it. i just wanted them to know for the record so to speak. they never responded--ever about it. they didnt even acknowledge what i said. after that, they dont bother with me. i still have 1 elder that sends an email once in a while. thats all. and it does not contain any questions or any support....it just says "hope things are doing well for you" kinda of thing. otherwise NADA.
if there is ever anything youd like to ask you may certainly email me...at any time. if i can help in any way, im happy to. its kinda weird but weve kinda gotten to the place where we really want to help others to know. just as a sexually assulted/abused person gets to a point where we feel we HAVE to speak out about it...well, that what me and my system is feeling. that we HAVE to speak out about DIDness as much as we are able--to educate others about it. so we are very open to questions. when we come across one that we do not feel comfortable with we just say so. it is so nice and refreshing to be able to speak freely. so much of what weve learned is that we have to keep our mouth shut...that everything is a bad thing and thus must be kept secret. the freedom of being able to talk is so awesome. so please, ask away. :o)
guess thats all for now... im so glad this weekend was one of clarity for us...we got to answer these wonderful questions. please feel free to ask more as they come up. we are committed to trying to help others to the best of our ability.
we really appreciate the interest and feedback weve gotten so far. thank you all soooo much! i/we look forward to more exchanges in the near future.
all for tonight. hope this finds you all doing well.
Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love
hey wounded heart,
the 1st T i went to was an elder who was a T.I just knew we'd have something in common.......
I'm going to type this in caps so maybe somebody else will see it - so don't get offended:
HEY ALL YOU JW'S!!!!! DON'T GO TO JW THEREPISTS - TOO MANY BOUNDRIES CAN, AND DO, GET CROSSED - AND YOU PROBABLY WILL GET HURT VERY BADLY! AND IT WILL COST YOU THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ANYWAY!
Now..... Back to us. The woman in Boca Raton, Fl., who I was under treatment with came with the correct credentials - but she did me much harm. Oh, I learned a lot from her also - but not enough to make up for the harm & thousands spent on her. After the first couple of weeks of seeing her everyday for an hour, sometimes two, (she believed she could get to the root of the matter quickly that way), she decided we could have therepy 3 times a week by phone, since I had to go back home. I visited down in Boca Raton.
Of course, when I would call her at the exact time we had set, I could hear the dishes clanking in the background (I don't think I had her undivided attention). And she'd ask things like "Do you think your phone line has been tapped?" Naturally, I felt really safe discussing my innermost thoughts after a couple of those questions.
She told me that she was expecting a call from Bethel anytime so that she'd go teach up there. She was one of the very few jw therepists skilled enough to do this teaching in her opinion. Oh, and the big one, in the New Order, her position would be as teacher to the Princes on the Earth. When I looked at her funny after she said this, she said "Well, who else is knowledgable enough to teach these men?" She was dead serious too. I knew I was in trouble then. I finally figured out how this woman with control issues could fit herself into the jw female role. She couldn't be equal to the men -so she decided to climb above them as their teacher.
Ah well......so you tangled with a jw man therapist? Will joys never cease! And he practiced hypnotism? How curious for a jw, and without your approval? My therapist was going to make me sign papers for hypnotism (another therapist). My Circuit Overseer (after calling Bethel) said I should stay away from hypnosis, but sodium.......(truth serum) was ok. I never received either. Like a good jw, when in doubt - don't. This time, it actually was probably a good non-move on my part.
Was the jw therapist real meek and mild acting or did he act like an average man? The three males that I've been in sessions all acted meek like - but I think a certain amount of that was put on (except for the one who shook hands like a dead fish. He was just kinda wimpy.)
I took Prozac for about 5 years, then came off of it. I use nothing now. Man, I miss my buddies sometimes! I have panic attacks infrequently now. I can even go to the dentist without having one - most of the time. I haven't been to a regular doctor in about 10 years - gonna take one helluva sickness to get me in those stirrups. (any lurkers - don't need a health lecture here- I know it's not prudent - but panic attacks aren't either.)
The dentist used to give me Valium to take before my visits - but it never did the trick, no matter how much I took. I finally just saved them for better use (my mother's visits). Btw, how do you get along with you family? Is there a person within you and within your family who can communicate together? That would be a nice thing. You mentioned you have some good friends, which is a great help also.
I went back and reread your introductory thread. I had read it originally, but must have spaced out your part about having mpd/did. Very unusual for me, honestly. I've waited a long time to introduce myself to another like me, and then I screw up and miss the post! Ah well.....again.
Glad you posted this thread - and we've been properly introduced as kin folks of a certain kind.
If you read this - good. I didn't want to get in on the thread started by Essie (other than original post). But I did want to tell you that it's nice to have you here, along with the other posters. We all lose our tempers once in a while (well, most of us) and then get over it, just like a gathering of real people.
Catch ya later.
Thankyou for welcoming me, as many others have done too.
You, along with other wise and kind souls on this board
are the reason why I'm still here.
Hi everyone, here's a little something for you:
My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright.... you're ugly too! (Rodney Dangerfield)
Hi wounded heart and all,
My heart goes out to those who are/have suffered from this disorder.
I wanted to say I couldn't agree more with the statement,'don't see a jw counselor'....
I can't tell you how many times I've said the same thing!!
You are spot on about boundary violatios etc.
The whole point about being a therapist(if they got the right training is NEUTRALITY.
I can't tell you how many times this was pounded into our heads. If you have a personal bias(as in having the JW slant) therapy cannot be effective.
Like waiting stated,they may have the correct credentials,but once they get out into their own practice,that doesn't stop them from operating under their own bias. And actually that is extrememly unethical on their part.
Many therapists hold some type of belief/philosophy,but to bring it into the theraputic alliance is one of the most destructive things I could think of.
It doesn't allow for honest and open exploration,because it has set limits from the start. And limits not defined by what the patient/client needs. Anyway jumpin off my soapbox here, I wanted to say welcome aboard!
Wishing all the continued strength and courage in any ongoing struggle...regards,Tina
Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny...."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense,you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."
First of all just let me say, this out-pouring of love and concern is gratifying to my soul. I appreciate the different ones who have taken some time to reply to this thread.
And let me say, that I couldn't agree more with not going to a JW therapist. The very thought scares me badly.
I took a lot of flack from the elders when I went into therapy. The therapists I chose DID NOT LIKE JW's at all. But she had done tons of research on them and received the WT and Awake to keep abreast. I realize now her disgust with the WT stemmed from the many cases of JW's she handled. I saw many diffent one's going in and out when I had my appts.
She never tried to influence me to leave the org. But she did help me to see that I had choices. I feel it was a direct result of my seeing her that my abusive ex husband left me and I started to see what the Society was doing to me. For that I am forever grateful.
I still haven't had a chance to go to the links Kath. But I plan to.
One of the great losses of my life is the blocking of good memories along with the bad. There are great big holes in my life that I have simply blocked out. It is very frustrating as I would love to keep the good memories. But I guess that is not to be.
I am glad you and Waiting have something of a support system. Thinker has done me a world of good. I can't imagine having to go it alone.
Thank you all so much for sharing!! It has helped me tremendously.