Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD).
i have it. are there others out there? or do you know of any? i was physically, emotionally, sexually abused. the tramas in my life were so great that i split into many.
please feel free to ask any and all questions about this condition as you want. please do not be shy about this. ill answer as many as i can. if i cant answer or feel uncomfortable to answer ill just say so.
ive been wanting to post this for months. right this instant i have the strength to finally do so.
Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love
My Dear Wounded Heart:
I've been wondering for some time what has attracted, and then held, my attention and participation on this board. And now I read your post.
I was for almost ten years in relationship with a young woman who was suffering Multiple Personality Disorder. We began our relationship before the MPD was known; and in fact, the initial relationship was between myself and one of her alternate personalities - although no one knew it but the alternate. And I stayed with her - I could do nothing else - from before initial diagnosis until reunification. I hope I can help you, and I'm very willing to try.
If you want to conduct discussions privately, I'll be happy to exchange emails with you directly.
For starters, it would be helpful to know: (I just made and then deleted a list of questions). Perhaps it would be helpful for you to say what you feel comfortable saying about your situation and then we could go from there?
Let me say that my partner was sexually abused by a pair of JW special pioneers who also were into Satanism on the side. (Boy, what a group of happy swingers those wild and crazy Jehovah's Witnesses are, huh?). She began to have intrusive recall when she was 28 years old, and then the healing began. Yes, the recall is part of healing. An experience hard to bear, but it is a part of healing.)
I want to reinstate a few of those questions that I deleted if that's OK:
Are you safe now?
Are you in therapy?
Was Satanism involved?
Do you have an Inner Self Helper?
Are you the original personality, or are you an alternate?
No more questions now, even though you invite them. You must know that too much prying might well evoke a negative response from an alternate and then you might not get the help you need.
I will be standing by in case you would like to go ahead.
thank you francoise.
Are you safe now? -- basically yes
Are you in therapy? -- yes going on 6 years now
Do you have an Inner Self Helper? -- not sure
Are you the original personality, or are you an alternate? -- the core person is in a coma.
thank you for offering to email with me. my email add is accessable. Kath
Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love
If I may ask. How did you get involved with the witnesses and how have the elders dealt eith your problem?
"But it does move"
Just wanted you to know that I have been attracted to you from your beginning posts. For some reason I feel some kind of connection. I really know absolutely nothing about what you are going through unfortunately. (except for little tid bits that I have read over the years) But no matter what, I can be supportive.
Good for you for sticking by your partner. I always say, we can't judge people by the surface, as we have never walked around in their shoes. And we never know what has happened to someone unless they choose to share, and even then, we still haven't walked around in their shoes.
Good luck. And you are so sweet for offering your assistance to Kath, I hope you can offer some help.
PS Are there any web sites with info.?
Hi Wounded Heart,
I so glad you have posted this thread.
Although I've never known anyone W/ DID,
I am very curious about how someone manages to
survive the tragedies that caused your disorder, and
how one deals with any disorder. You see I'm
suffering w/ acute anxiety this year, and have lived
w/ depression all my live. My childhood was also filled with
physical abuse and neglet, but I've been too shy to talk
to a prof. about them. So when I read this thread my heart sunk w/ pain for you. I'd like to know what has helped you deal with your
condition? Are you encouraged to still use DID to deal w/ painful memories or has your therapist attempted to join together all the personalities? In other words, have the dif. personalities been used
by the therapist to help you deal w/ trauma or has the priority been to bring them together first and then deal with the pain? Have you been encouraged to get rid of any or to blend them and incoporate them into yourself?
Are you or have you ever been in a DID support group? What are the things that bring
joy to you today?
Wishing you happiness, Emyrose
PS, thanks again for opening your heart to us
for those seeking reading material on this and related topics, I suggest you try this site:
I think that all of us who were misused by trusted adults have the tendency to fragment or compartmentalize the experiences. It's obvious that DID and MPD are incredibly creative ways of coping with unbearable stress. They are the extreme expression of a common human coping mechanism. I was surprised how many people experience the milder forms of dissociation. I am appalled at how many people have had such hideous experiences that they need to dissociate in order to survive the very memory of it.
In my own case, when I talked to my therapist about the 'actor personalities' I trotted out to deal with situations that were too much for me, she nodded and talked at length about using those little actors to do the job while I cringed inside my protective bubble. (ALthough I never dissociated to the point of coma, I certainly did let Ms. Nurse and Ms. Tittlejotter run the show while Mommie wept in terror behind them every time she had to touch her father.) According to that therapist, the diff between Wounded Heart and someone like me is a matter of degree.
Wounded Heart, you are incredibly brave to be here sharing your experiences. Thanks for doing this. You really never know who is lurking and gathering courage from you. I know I feel better for knowing that you are working through the old horrors and into the quieter better places.
Hello Wounded Heart,
It takes a lot of courage to speak out, and then courage to speak out again, and again, and again. A life course for a while. After a while, it seems the need dissipates, like a thunderstorm, and then only arises on occasion.
Nice to meet you. My world fell apart around the age of 42. Took years to put back together again. My brother wasn't so fortunate, he stayed apart. Our mother and father were the cause, along with my father's friends in debauchery.
The Sidron Foundation has much reading material to digest on mpd/did. Randy Watters' Sexual Abuse Site has a section on this subject. It disappeared for a while, but thankfully he brought it back. Some of us who have mpd/did are problematic daily, others tend to work through it. I'm very seldom stopped by it now, 5 years ago, a daily occurrence.
It is a gift, just not so useful many times in adult life. Glad you're in therepy, another gift if the therepist is good and attentive. However, the wrong therepist can bring havoc to a person's mind and emotions. Be careful - I hooked up with the wrong one for a while. She had the right credentials - but was a power monger.
The help of a good friend/partner is to be cherished. My husband became my backbone when somehow I had none. Literally, he would help me out of places because I couldn't stand.
Take care. If you'd like to continue chatting here - that's fine with me. If you'd care to e-mail privately, that's fine also.
Btw, my father/mother were not jw's. Just very warped.
waiting, you need to say it again:
A GOOD therapist can be a valuable help.
a BAD one can do irreparable harm.
Don't hesitate to shop around for a GOOD therapist. Don't 'settle' for anything. YOu need to find a person who will NOT tell you what to do. You need a person to help YOU find what is best for YOU to do. It's a subtle difference but very important.
I've had a couple of therepists & psychiatrists. Didn't hit it off with the men - guess my aggressiveness came through. As for the women therepists, all were nurses with appropriate titles in training in various family counselings, drugs, etc., etc.
The difference came in their style and agenda. Lest one should forget, a patient is paying someone to play with their mind. The woman who did me harm was a jw therepist located in Boca Raton, Fl around 1990. Came with recommendations, checked her license, etc.
She had strong beliefs about mpd/did, satanic worship, her esteemed place within the WTBTS and place within the New Order teaching the Princes of the Earth.
Took me a while to shake loose from her. I learned some- but not enough to make up for the thousands I spent and damage she did to me.
I stayed out of therepy for about 2 yrs, I was so angry with the system. Then went to a lecture from a woman therepist on rape. I scheduled one appointment - told her my position and we winged it from there for another 2 yrs. She allowed me the greatest freedom, to speak. She walked with me - but never pushed.
Jimmie Stewart, Columbia, SC. An expensive gift, but a gift nonetheless.