Need advice: Intimacy with my wife almost non existint because she considers me an apostate

by goingthruthemotions 103 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sofia Lose
    Sofia Lose

    This is one of the reasons I just go along to get along and ruffle no feathers with some hard core ones within my family. They will erase me for sure, my husband being one of them.

    It is an awful deceitful existence at times, but I concentrate on the positive and plow along.


  • ToesUp
    It's her sick way of punishing you. I agree...I hate this cult too. It TRULY destroys families!
  • baltar447
    Ask her if she'd be happy being an old hag in a cult with no eligible men. Maybe that'll change her tune.
  • OnTheWayOut
    what's the use of being married if this is lacking?

    If that's your question, do you really need advice? I hate to go down the road of suggesting cheating or divorce, so I will just say that you seem to know what you need.

    I am not quite in your situation, but I have a JW wife who misses me being a JW with her. We have occasions where something is wrong, but it really isn't like your situation. All I can say is that if you don't want to cheat or divorce, you need to change things at home. Marriage counseling is probably out. My JW wife would not go. But it really is the answer for whatever her problem is. After she won't go, a heart-to-heart conversation about cheating or divorcing because you know you won't stay in this situation indefinitely is about the only option left.

  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters
    What about rendering to you your "do"..? Freaking cult! All this talk about love, respect, honor, headship, importance of communication, rendering to each other their do's, winning without a word... blah blah blah. All bunk when it comes to actual practice.
  • Ignoranceisbliss
    I think it's important for a dub wife to know that her marriage isn't guaranteed going forward. I know that when I take the step that you already have that I am going to tell my wife that I have doubts that our marriage will survive this huge difference in lifestyles that we will have going forward. If it's going to work it will only be because we both work at it. If she isn't willing to work at it then what's the sense in staying together.
  • StarTrekAngel
    What was she referring to when she said "go ask my therapist?". Is it your therapist or hers?
  • millie210

    You can outsmart them goingthroughthemontions!

    The first thing is to know that what you are facing is wrong. Many here identify and sympathize.

    The second thing is to see if you can change things by what you do.

    In quiet subtle ways (dont expect anything at first) begin to woe your wife. If you need help with ideas get a book or check out a website where women talk about what melts them.

    Armed with ideas, apply them to your personal knowledge of your wife. If she doesnt like chocolate then dont buy her a box of them and expect a good result.

    She loves wild flowers? Take her on a drive and pick some for her. Or go get some from a florist (they can order them)

    Any personal indulgence she likes but doesnt ask for? Be aware of it.

    There are many things that come up over the course of a marriage that can separate partners. Life threatening illness, financial reversal, fights over kids decisions and/or mates and so on.

    At some point, every one of us has to decide to fight or throw our hands up or to just simply go.

    You have come up against one of those situations and its name is religious differences.

    If you dont care about winning her back then disregard the above!

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    You can't compete with that piece of sh--t cult, especially if she is brainwashed. On a

    another note, 27 years of marriage sex life takes a back seat in a lot of cases.. There may be

    a problem with your wife, or sex is not that important to her. When she said "go ask my therapist",

    was she referring to your therapist or her's???

    StarTrek, beat me to the punch, "therapist".

  • goingthruthemotions

    Thanks everyone for you support, like OTWO said...she won't go to a counselor. in her mind i am the one with the problem.

    i just don't know what to do anymore....i just am not allowed to live a normal life without reprocussion of my changed mind about the cult. like stuart said in the's a captive organizaiton.

    this truely sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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