by Funky_Diva_53_2000 81 Replies latest social relationships
I'd like to have a brief desrcription of what religion/faith all of you are, what you call yourselves, what you stand for, the God you worship, what sets you apart from others, and what makes you right, please.
Why do I bother? JWs never believe any other people's beliefs that don't agree with them. Don't you know that your religion considers other beliefs as Evil and from the Devil? Because of that, JWs already has a prejudged notion toward other people's beliefs.
As long as you have this mentality that being with funkydiva equates with death then I suggest you back off and leave the poor girl alone. Or is that just another ploy to bed her?
Another ploy to bed me?...what exactually do you mean by this?,because if you're talking about sex then no we never had sex.With all love and respect for my b/f (and I won't mention his name for that matter) I'd like to tell you something else that has happened though,not that it's really anyone's buisness...it's quite private and personal to me,and probally to him for that matter.But because it's been playing on my mind quite a lot lately I wanted to add it to the message board.I suppose this also add's to why I have been so tearfull lately.
Not so long ago I agreed to stay the night at my boyfriends house (this was before I knew he was a J/W).It was when his sister was away on holiday and I trusted my boyfriend enough to stay over his house so I did.We didn't have sex,and I wouldn't do unless I'm sure I know about the person 100% enough to share something like that with them anyway.However,things did happen at his house that night and I don't regret what happened because I love him to bits,it felt so natural at the time and I wanted to show him how much I love him and want to be with him...but what I can't understand is why my boyfriend LET it happen and didn't say something like ''we can't/should'nt do this,I need to tell you...I'm a Jehovahs Witness''.
I get the impression from him that he may have found it very difficult to stop himself and tell me when both alone,not fully clothed,in his bedroom and got a bit carried away (could just be the male testosterone) but I still keep thinking 'why if he says he loves me as much as he does and never ment to hurt my feelings then why,why did he let us continue the sexual intimacy together?.This didn't just happen that night,it happened many other times.
I know Jehovahs Witnesses are not supposed to have sex before they're married,let alone with a 'Wordly girl'...does the same go for oral sex? and other sexual activities that two people would do when they are in love?.Please can someone with good advice reply to this.
Edited by - Funky_Diva_53_2000 on 10 July 2002 15:16:39
I know Jehovahs Witnesses are not supposed to have sex before they're married,let alone with a 'Wordly girl'...does the same go for oral sex? and other sexual activities that two people would do when they are in love?.Please can someone with good advice reply to this.
Yes... for both questions and they are considered DisFellowshipping offenses. As for oral sex, it is a DF offense even if married. As for sexual activities for couples in love, it is forbidden between two JWs and much more so, between a JW and a non-JW.
It's their rules.
Funky at the very least the description of fornication by JW's involves an orgasm. If areas that are considered to be "sexual" in nature are massaged for pleasure, it's fornication again.
At the very least you know your boyfriend is a liar and is leading a double life. Have you noticed here that he is doing his best to turn things around? He is questioning us as to our faith in defense of his own faith. That shows he has so sorrow, he is justifying his actions by turning things around. This is what guys do all too often.
Just remember, his faith teaches that doing the things he has done with you is a sin which leads to death. He has said that being with you might be worth death. How does that make you feel? That your love for him is deadly?
It is a very sick society that he belongs to. Please get yourself away from him and do not allow yourself to be dragged in.
Another plot to bed me?...what exactually do you mean by this?,He would not pursue the average witness girl because he can't trust her. If he tried to have sex (including oral, massaging each other) with one of they just might go to an elder and snitch on him. This would lead him to being disfellowshipped and he would then be considered dead. But he can pursue a worldly girl. You won't go to the elders.
So what do you want funky? But you've been warned. Just remember, by his trying to turn this all around he again is showing his true colors. He may be older than you but I have a feeling he has done this in the past.
By the way, JW"s are not to even kiss each other passionatly until there is a committment to marriage. That doesn't mean he wants to marry you either, there is supposed to be a ring on your finger and a date in mind. He also is not allowed to be alone with you ever. There is to be a chaperone present at all times. Even my 21 year old son had a chaperone around the entire time he dated his wife.
So he is breaking lots of rules already, which shows he is living a double life. But remember, he wanted proof of his double life. He claimed he isn't leading a double life didn't he? It's obvious he is. It's obvious he's a liar. Please move on, you will only regret staying with this guy.
Funky, Everyone has warned you and we have seen this same story many times. Let me tell you, you are in a very bad situation. Let me explain to you how your boyfriend's mind works. He belongs to the true religion. All other people are of Satan. If he wants some sexual exploration, he can't do that with one of the girls in his congregation. So, he picked you out, and he is in love and lust. So, here you are a 17 year old girl who is dealing with a boy, a very immature boy who has no sense of ethics. Did you know that if his elders found out about his time with you, he would be immediately shunned? Yes, he is in turmoil, but he is a sinning true believer. I dispise what he is doing to you. You see, to some degree, he has the virin-whore complex. Yes, he may lust and love you, but when push comes to shove, you will be history, and he will marry a Witness virgin.
I'd like to have a brief desrcription of what religion/faith all of you are, what you call yourselves, what you stand for, the God you worship, what sets you apart from others, and what makes you right, please.
Oh, I get it. You want to know what organization I belong to. That way, if, I were to say that I was, for example, a Baptist, you can reason as follows: "Well, Baptists believe in the Trinity and the immortal soul. These are false doctrines. I know that they are false doctrines because the almighty Watchtower organization has told me so. Therefore, anything this guy may have said in the way of pointing out my personal dishonesty, or in pointing out the hypocrisy of the leadership of the Watchtower, can be safely disregarded, because he doesn't believe like I do about some things."
Allow me to disappoint you. I am not a member of any organized religion. I am a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ. My doctrine is whatever is found in the Bible, as long as it is taken in context and read and translated accurately. I don't need any human or organization to interpret it for me; Jesus said that the Holy Spirit would do that. As to what makes me right, well, as long as I stick to the Bible, I'm right. When I fall short, I'm wrong. But I don't need to be divinely perfect to recognize hypocrisy in individuals or organizations.
So I retract my previous advice. You should stay with the Watchtower. With your arrogance and hypocritical attitude, you will fit right in there, and I'm sure you will have a wonderful life of serving the organization right up till the moment you have to explain to Jesus why you spent your life serving men instead of him. Men, at that, who can be scripturally demonstrated to be false prophets.
FunkyDiva, I agree with what the others here are saying. This guy is a liar and a hypocrite. He is also extremely immature. He is using you, and you will not break him free of his mental bondage to an organization of men. He is arrogant and unwilling to face his own shortcomings, which tells me that he is not even capable of being honest with himself, much less with you. You will not be happy if you establish yourself in a relationship with this person. Besides his inherent dishonesty, the Watchtower will always be his first priority, and will always stand between you. Even if he leaves the organization for a time to be with you, I don't believe that he is capable of the honest self-scrutiny that will allow him to break free of their mind control, and he will later want to go back. Move on and find someone you can trust who has fewer issues. Run while you can.
Edited by - NeonMadman on 10 July 2002 18:57:25
Ok brokenheartedidiot. I'll do what no one else has done and give you the benefit of the doubt (at least just for arguments shake). I'll take your word for it that you really care for your g/f on more than a physical level, that your "moral lapses"(by JW standards) were due purely to "heat of the moment" situations (kinda hard to believe), or like your g/f, you simply wanted to share intimate experiences with the one you love, and in your case it got the better of your JW judgement.
Basically, on this thread you've said:
1) that you love your g/f
2)that you believe the JW religion is "the truth"
3)if you choosing your g/f over the Org., you'd basically be signing your death warant.
If you hold all these things to be true, then in my opinion, the logical thing to do would be for you and your g/f to be seperate from each other. If you were to be in a relationship with a person you percieve to be your mortal downfall, no matter how much you profess to love her, there will be problems in your relationship. Taking your comments about the JW religion at face value, you obviously hold the Org. in extremely high esteem, high enough to have a delusional apologetic attitude about them (not neccessarily because you still think they're "the truth", since ultimately this kind of decision is a personal one and reached for various reasons. But your comment on them "being humble" about their changes either shows that you ignore the facts you have read, or are relatively ignorant of the facts). If you have such a high esteem for the Society, you'll always think about what you lost by leaving them (in this case a great deal), you'll probably be riddled with guilt for leaving a religion you obviously hold dear, and your g/f will pick up on that. If you really love her, you would not put her through that, and you would simply continue to be a JW. Of course, I find it suspicious that a JW with the level of commitment you have (someone who has supposedly seen the errors, but continues to see them as "the truth"), would even entertain the idea of displeasing Jehovah (in your mind, at least), and give up eternal life for a person who your religion says you should not have been dating to begin with, but as I said I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for arguments sake.
I'll once again implore you to look objectively at your religion. I'll remind you that leaving the JW Org. is not the same as abandoning God. And what's the relevance of knowing the religion of the posters? Even if we were all avid Satanist, that wouldn't make our objections to the JW religion any less valid. As far as pointing out a religion that is "better than the JW's", that is a highly subjective question. It really depends on your needs; what you want, hell some people don't join another religion at all (though they could retain faith in God). You don't even have to believe all the dogma of a religion, if it is a religion that allows free thought among followers. Some of us would probably continue to be JW's if we had the freedom of thought (I wouldn't, though), but that's not possible there. Your whole conception of "true religion" might need an overhall, as you seem to believe the main characteristic in a relationship with God is a religion's dogma, and not its attitude toward helping a person develop a relationship with God (the bible seems to stress the latter). JW dogma is only the interpretation of the GB, you can believe what you want about the bible as long as you're intellectually honest, and approaching it truthfully from the heart. The GB's interpretation is no better than yours.
Funky Diva, a relationship which started on the basis of deception is no good. There are many other fish in the sea (eventhough at this point in time you do not think so) - you are only 17 and have much living to do. Go out and do it, life is too short.
Funky, I'm beggin you - please listen to us. I have seen this situation so many times, and not just from a distance, I have been the shoulder to cry on when the heartbreak comes. And, I know I don't know this man personally, but everything he has said through this message board I have heard before. You are in for an emotional roller coaster that will end with him deciding to stay a faithful Witness - guilt free in his own mind to then date and marry the perfect Witness "sister" that his family would like him to marry. Don't be fooled - he may truly love you at this very moment, but NEVER EVER underestimate the power this religion holds over its members. There will be a day that he will come to you with his decision and it will NOT BE YOU. Right now he may be reading my words and swear that it will never happen that way but it will. You are both so young. Time heals everything - you'd be so surprised. One of you has to be strong enough to end this and begin the healing process. If this man leaves the Witnesses for you, he will always feel guilt for it.
I can't stress this enough - if I wasn't at work I'd be crying - don't go down this painful path! If he truly loves you he will let you go rather than endure the future pain when he decides he must choose Jehovah.
FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS!
D8TA
