by Funky_Diva_53_2000 81 Replies latest social relationships
Matty: <div class=quote>"Sorry to be a fusspot but is there any chance you could insert a few paragraphs here and there" </div>
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Maybe she cant figure out how to do that and neither can I. Ever since Simon changed the form, everything seems to run together. So just how do you put paragraphs in?[p]
NewLight2
Maybe she cant figure out how to do that and neither can I. Ever since Simon changed the form, everything seems to run together. So just how do you put paragraphs in?[p]NewLight2
Hitting ENTER works for me when I want to start a new paragraph. If I want to put a new one in fron of this one, I hit HOME and the ENTER. Then I can either use the UP arrow key or click on the line I want with the mouse.
Welcome! You are very brave to have entered and continued a relationship w/ him after finding out he is a JW. From personal experience, and I hate to break it to you....but, this relationship will not last forever. I was raised as a JW and the first guy a fell in love with was "worldly". My parents found out through some of my closest "friends" at the KH. The freaked out. I was then labeled as bad assoication. As will your boyfriend if your relationship becomes public knowledge.
My question is: Is he baptized? The reason I want to know is, if he's 20 y/o, and he's not baptized yet, that may be good for you. Most JW youths are baptized well before their 18th b-day, if they are "spiritually minded". If he is, then just WALK AWAY. Should he decide to be with you, he will lose his entire "life" i.e. family, friends, and love. MOST, but not all, JW's show conditional love and teach conditional love, that is how those who are raised in it stay in it, for fear of losing all they know. That is a very scarey place to be, so until that person is ready to enter the reality of losing EVERYTHING they've ever known, you may be SOL.
Just a sidenote.... I was 18 when I married my 1st husband, who was/is a JW. It only lasted a few months before he became violent with me, and when I went to the church to seek help, they told me to be a "good wife". Thanks to him, I began to see how a$$ backwards these people are. Long story short: We divorced after 3 years of marriage, and 1/2 of that time he lived with his parents. Unfortunately, we were too young and immature to be married, and adding in my independent thinking, the marriage was doomed.
On a happier note: I am married to a wonderful NON JW man, and we'll be celebrating our 4 year wedding anniversary this DEC!! We also have a beautiful daughter who is 3 and will NOT be held back and stiffled by the JW cult.
Think long and hard about what all of us "strangers" have told you. We don't know him or you for that matter, but we know the organization and what it does to people's lives. You know the old saying "when in doubt, do without". Good Luck to you! :)
Diva,
Welcome to the forum!
About your topic, I hate to break this to you, but all the posters here are telling you the truth. I've been there, done that except I am the non-JW guy and the JW is a girl. For the JWs, they will drop you before they'll drop their religion. It's true that they are all "nice" and "personable", but after experiencing that, all I can say is that is just all a "facade". There will be people here who are gonna flame me for saying this, but I still say that the JWs are all "Wolves in Sheep Clothing".
Should you decide to continue that relationship, I wish you "GOOD LUCK!"
I suggest you read what they believe and most importantly, what are their rules and regulation. Believe me, they are strict with their rules.
Let me finish by asking you:
You don't have to answer me, but these are questions for yourself.
My 2 cents.
Regards,
Ajax
What do you think, so far, funkeydiva??
SS
Take the advice of everyone on here- and LEAVE THIS BOY NOW! Not to mention the fact that he hid his religion & family from you, and you from them, but TRUST ME- the heartache would be ALOT easier now, than later. The religion is DEEPLY ingrained in him, and he will at some point give you the ultimatum to be a witness or he will break it off. OR, he will get kicked out because he is with you- and if he isn't mentally ready to leave- that will cause severe depression & guilt. Drop him now. Trust me- all the love in the world cannot make up for the heartache of the roads ahead.
Hi Funky, welcome to the board!
We've had many, many new posters come to us with exactly this query of yours. Suffice to say, many Witnesses will ALWAYS be Witnesses - but perhaps you can still save your boyfriend. Note that whenever you do anything even remotely naughty with him, you are going to send him on a guilt trip of note, and also that he isn't supposed to be dating you in the first place, and if you two ever plan to get married, this will probably be viewed with extreme prejudice by the others in his Congregation.
About the best thing you can do right now is leave books like Crisis of Conscience lying around at home for him to find and read...there's no such thing as forcing a Witness out of the Truth, really...but if you love him, there is always a chance that you can help him see the real Truth!
Steven Hassan's book Releasing The Bonds could be of help.
Edited by - GermanJW on 9 July 2002 7:22:43
Edited by - GermanJW on 9 July 2002 7:23:5
I wouldn't get overly excited about it like other people on here have, but I think LB got it right.
I read your story as a guy now 30, out of the org for years, but in the org. at the same time as your BF. Honestly, at 17, just give up on him. Don't try to pull him out... even if you succeed in getting him out, he's going to be distraught to some degree for at least some period of time as he gets over having his social circle yanked from him. It will have an effect on his relationship with you (he may resent you subconciously).
You've probably heard it all before that feelings at 17 are strong and that you'll feel differently in a few years. There's too much growing to do in the normal course of things between 17 and 25, let alone having to help someone cope with a life in shambles from shunning, a constantly strained life of opposing viewpoints or other personal pressures.
Keep shedding tears - it's natural. But after you've shed a few more, think clearly and realize it's not a battle you likely want to fight right now.
Yeah I would invite him round so we could look at these pages together but my parents have banned my boyfriend from coming over our house since he told me he is a Jehovahs Witness and they say they don't want someone who has decieved me to come round their house.I've told my b/f about this site & that I've wrote my article on here and he's read it.He say's he's read some things that other people have wrote on here too,so I'm taking his word for it that he has.
