My B/F told me he's a J/W after months of dating! (page 8)

eyegirl

savanah

"some" apostate--not a bit condescending, are you? i think the whole point of what the majority of these responses, i can at least speak for myself: if you can't live up to the standards of your religion that you claim to be so devout to, what's the point? aren't you making yourself a hypocrite? i can tell you from experiences i've had with friends, if you marry someone out of 'the truth' it is not taken kindly to. you can kiss goodbye any kind of acceptance in the congregation and at the very least would be marked as 'bad association within the congregation.' perhaps you haven't had one, or several, of those talks in your congregation. a friend pointed out an interesting comment in a talk at a convention several years ago. the talk covered purposely marrying someone who is not a witness. the point was that, although it is not a disfellowshipping offense, marrying a non-believer directly goes against the instruction from the governing body and organization. do you really think you would be dealt with that kindly when the elders and congregation know you did something that is highly looked down upon??? i think not. perhaps if you took the opportunity to get to know 'some' apostates on this board you would see that we aren't evil. i'm sure you don't want to take that chance though, because obviously you know that can get you df'd.

plmkrzy

I know Jehovahs Witnesses are not supposed to have sex before they're married,let alone with a 'Wordly girl'...does the same go for oral sex? and other sexual activities that two people would do when they are in love?.Please can someone with good advice reply to this.

Sure hunny,

GFYS!

I must have been fortunate because I didn't follow this thread but opened it and read the entire thing at once. There is a lot to be said for that.

savanah

Just over a year ago one of my closest friends married someone that wasnt one of Jehovahs Witnesses and although it was looked down upon, she was not disfellowshiped so I know first hand how the elders deal with these situations. There are always talks encouraging us only to 'marry in the lord' and not to be 'unevenly yoked' with good reason as I said in my previous email, being a witness takes up so much time in your life (for example if you were someone dedicated to a sport and you had to train every day) God didnt say this to make us unhappy, it was for a good reason. But if it does happen, then you dont immediately get disfellowshipped unless youve committed fornication and even then, if youre repentant, not even then. The only way a relationship between someone that is a witness and non-witness will work, is if they both respect each others views and religions etc. It wouldnt be easy!!

Eyegirl, you can take it as being condescending but the thing is, the majority of the people that talk on this website are apostate so dont you think its good to get the views of someone that is isnt bias? Im not saying youre evil. Youre probably a very nice person but unfortunately like I said in my first email, we are not perfect as much as wed like to be, and so we make mistakes. That goes for the elders as well. They arent perfect either and make mistakes.

As for being a hypocrite, I try and live my life as close to bible standards as I can, but unfortunately only after God has stepped in will I ever be perfect. Jehovahs Witnesses do not expect you NEVER to stuff up. Man, everyone would be disfellowshipped if that was the case!!

So Brokenheartedidiot, you should go to the elders, sort it out so that youve got a clean conscience and make some sort of decision about your girlfriend so that youre not mucking her around anymore.

gypsywildone

is Savanah hopelessly naiive, or in denial of reality?
Diva, you are way too smart & together for this! Dump this mixed up mess, never get used again! Read a book called
Women who Love too Much, that way, the next time "crazy" comes along, you'll recognize it & run the other way! You are
waaaay too good to get any further into this & waste any more time! You can't save people who don't want to be saved, but you can save yourself.

butalbee

It was when his sister was away on holiday and I trusted my boyfriend enough to stay over his house so I did.We didn't have sex,

I don't believe, I may be wrong,but last time I checked, dubs don't go on holiday--do they?

Oh, and the dumb dubs that I know--would never write of their faith as "j/w religion"--it would be "in the truth, blah, blah," ETC.....

I don't know....

Edited by - butalbee on 31 July 2002 10:13:27

butalbee

But I do have a question for the self-acclaimed "idiot"--why are you putting her through all this crap if you truly do love her?

Stealth

I don't believe, I may be wrong,but last time I checked, dubs don't go on holiday--do they?

In many countries the term holiday is used to refer to what we call a vacation in the USA. Vacation is one of the definitions of holiday if you look it up in the dictionary.

I used to make a lot of JWs mad because I adopted the word holiday in place of vacation several years back. If someone had something to say about it I told them to look it up in the dictionary. No one ever came back.

SYN

What a thread! Just wanted to add a few thoughts of my own...

Well, it seems that we now have the drama of the month here on JWD! This is in fact almost as good as those Convention Dramas! Only at least one of the participants in this drama is lacking a beard

Let's wait and see what BrokenHeartedDude says when he gets back. BrokenHearted - we don't hate you at all - but we sure don't like the Society you represent, see? We all want to help you.

plmkrzy

Holiday or not I think me and butal are the only ones who are NOT swallowing

Edited by - plmkrzy on 1 August 2002 11:34:9

Funky_Diva_53_2000

Hi,I know I haven't wrote anything on here for a while...I wanted a bit of a break from typing and had other things on my mind as you know.I'd just like to say a big thanks to everyone who has replied to my story on here,you have all been a great help and I'm so greatful for the support you've given me.It's also nice to know that other people on here have been through simmilar things and understand how I feel too.

Anyway,I thought I would let you know what has happened.As you probally know I asked my boyfriend (now ex) to decide if he wanted to carry on with our relationship together or to stay in his religion...I gave him the month to make up his mind.I told him that if we stayed together then he would have to leave his religion as there was no way I was going to be converted to the Jehovahs Witness religion.I lent a book and some information from the internet to him to try and help him make a decision and I tried to explain to him that I think there are other ways of serving God apart from belonging to the Watchtower organization etc etc.

We carried on seeing each other and last Wednesday we met in town.We had a chat and he told me he was staying in his religion.We both talked for a while,hugged and cried loads...just before I was about to leave he gave me a bible he said he had bought for me.I remember saying to him one day that I didn't want the bible from his congregation and If I wanted a bible I would buy one from a bookshop,that was where he got this one from.I think he had hopes of me reading it and wanting to be converted to his religion,but I made it clear that it was never going to happen...I'd made up my mind and will never be a J/W.After a long chat I decided to go home.It was horrible having to leave him...it kind of felt like me having a child and having to leave it,knowing that I'd probally never see the person again.I didn't want to leave but I felt it was the best thing and we were both getting so upset.So I got up and just kind of forced myself to walk away...I can't really describe how I felt but it was'nt nice,I felt very sad and empty mixed with other emotions like anger and heartache.He'd gone.I'd gone.We'd finished.

I walked back through town,fighting back the tears and trying not to cry...I saw loads of families and people happily together,having a great time & I thought of all the happy times we had shared together...that made me feel sad knowing that we wern't ''together'' anymore.I just kept walking and walking and eventually headed home.I think it was then that it hit me...we were over and I somehow had to let go and get on with my life.I felt I couldn't stay friends with him after being in a relationship so we're not staying in touch.

It's hard,and sad when a strong religion like this gets in the way and can split up families as well as relationships (if one person's a J/W & the other isn't).I suppose it's made me think about life a bit more and that life is what people make it...and I think we all have to stick together,be nice to each other,help one another,try to get along well and share happy times.Life is here and it's here for us to live it and I think it's up to us to decide where we want to go in life,what we want to do and what makes us happy.

Funky_Diva_53_2000

Edited by - Funky_Diva_53_2000 on 6 August 2002 17:34:41

My B/F told me he's a J/W after months of dating!

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