Hi, I'm 17 and I've just recently become a member of this website and I want you to know what has happened to me over the past months.Back in Sep/Oct 2001 I started chatting to a 20 year old bloke via the internet and we developed a great friendship over the net.We would talk online for ages,text and phone each other loads,we sent each other photos of ourselves and he would often put his webcam on for me to see.Before I knew it he played a great part in my everyday life...and I spent so much time chatting to him that my college work suffered a lot & I wasn't doing my coursework (I eventually got told to leave as I hadn't done loads of the assignments and stuff & had fallen behind).
After about 6 months we arranged to meet up (I made sure my parents were at home coz I know it's dodgy to meet people from the internet).Anyway,he came round my house one evening in March and we got along soo well...he lives quite locally too which was good.Our friendship then grew into a relationship and we started dating and going out together,I was sooo happy and I fell for him in a massive way & he said he felt the same way too.To me,he was a girls dream come true...he was kind,caring,fit,good-looking & gentle and I loved him to bits!,I still do,and I thought we'd be together forever.
Something that I did find a bit strange though was I hadn't met his family yet or heard my boyfriend talk much about them.I would question him about his family but he seemed to get a bit funny about it and when I mentioned about meeting his family he said something along the lines of ''they're a bit strange,you might not like them'' (or something like that anyway).That got me thinking and I though prehaps they lived in a run-down place or something,or they wern't very nice people and I thought my b/f could be ashamed to let me meet them.I thought to myself to give him time & he'll see that I'm an understanding & nice person and hoped that he would soon come out and tell me what the problem was (thinking it was about what I've just mentioned).
Then After about 2 months into the relationship I was talking to him on the phone one day & questioned him about his family again...I think he sussed at this time that I was getting more suspicious.Later that evening I recieved a text message telling me that he had been 'brought up by a religious family'.Then I got another msg and it turns out he's a Jehovahs Witness.I was ok with it untill I spoke to my parents & found out that I'd have to become one if we ever wanted to get married and take the relationship further...and it made a lot of other things complicated too.Then I started making sense of the things he told me about his family...and the fact that he wouldn't go out with me on certain days (church meetings etc etc),it was like putting together pieces of a jigsaw.
Anyway...basically,I'm still going out with my boyfriend,I love him to bits and I want to be with him for the rest of my life.I have been reading several books and spoken to quite a lot of people about this and what has happened and I've also been to websites on the net and been reading some of the bible.The religion however,I will not go into and I've told my b/f that I will not become a J/W...I don't believe their beliefs & have different views about life and stuff.I've been brought up as a Christian,not a strict one (I don't go to church & stuff but I was christined when I was younger & live in a christian family).I have asked my boyfriend to look at other information about his religion and look at why some people leave that particular religion,I feel in a way that he hasn't been given much of a chance too look for himself and feel he's been brainwashed by the congregation.He's been brought up as a J/W all his life for 20 years and I don't think he will come out of it and see things differently,I still have a little hope though.
We have both cried loads over this and I really dont want to loose him.I've told him that he's got untill the end of this month to decide what he feels is the right thing for him to do (either to come out his religion or to stay in it).Allthough he said he would like us both to stay friends if we end up splitting up,I don't think I could be friends as it would emotionally hurt us too much.If anyone who's been in a similar situation or has advice for me then please let me know,I'd be really greatfull for a response.Thanks for listening.
Edited by - Funky_Diva_53_2000 on 8 July 2002 14:13:4
Edited by - Funky_Diva_53_2000 on 8 July 2002 14:15:23