by kneehighmiah 88 Replies latest jw friends
ARE YOU REALLY THAT SHALLOW?
Are we all to understand that you take your vacations at the city dump? After all it sounds like you believe it is shallow to prefer attractiveness over ugliness.
And yes, I made the choice to prefer ONE attractive, healthy, hard working worldly woman over the numerous lazy, obese, complaining, welfare leech, ugly JW's!
Now go ahead and let the JW style bashing begin!
The word "attractive" does not necessarily mean only physical appearance.
Max Reede : My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher : That's just something ugly people say.
-- from "Liar, Liar".
Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, and the reason why all the JWs that are single seem unattractive is that their JW essense is to you, (or whoever) just unattractive! Not about looks, but about whether a whole person 'attracts' another person. It is easy to see the "pretty" in a person who is unavailable. Most of us can observe the pretty face and move on, dismissing them. When a person meets a prospective mate, 'attractive'is about a lot more than looks.
JWs don't like JWs. They don't want to be married to one. They may not even like themselves. They probably think they are unworthy of anyone as good as they want in anycase. If the brothers you know are not seeeing any attractive single sisters, it is because they simply don't want to be married to a JW. Objectively, there are a lot of pretty single JW women. And men. And froggy ones, too. But what sane person wants to marry into that mess?
A pretty,yet pious JW is kind of like a frosted turd. And while we often make wrong decisions with marriage mates, most have SOME instincts for survival. Being a JW destroys the sense of self and destroys our trust and faith in others to have anything good in them, either. It is the guilty folks that suspect others of dishonesty the most. Same principle applies. NOt about actual guilt, but the sense that we are just unworthy and undeserving of anything good. You get told that enough, you believe it.
Sorry to veer a little off the main topic, but to address some points made:
We might want to wax noble and say that it's shallow to search for a mate who's physically attractive, but I really believe that physical attractiveness is a large factor in the search for a mate. Now I certainly agree that personality, inner qualities, work ethic, etc. all are important and play a role, however, a lot of times, one will never learn about such unless he's physically attracted to a potential mate in the first place and is moved to get to know him/her.
It seems that a lot (if not most) on this site believe in evolution, and it seems that those who do would agree that physical beauty (including form, color, strength, etc.) are very important in mating. Even among plants like flowers, the "prettiest" often fare better in "mating" in that they more successfully attract pollinators such as bees. In fact, I believe evolutionists say that the reason that nature has produced such brighlty colored "pretty" flowers has to do with survival of the fittest. The "pretty" ones have been more successful in "competing" for mates (actualy pollinators to carry their genetical material to mates) than their less "pretty" counterparts. Are we humans not, according to evolutionists just as much a part of the biosphere and just as much a result of evolution as flowers, peacocks, and bees?
having to live a pretentious life as a jw can be hard on a marriage. When one partner doesn't live up to the image of being a good jw the other may try to shame him/her into being more "spiritual". When people are coerced and manipulated into being something they aren't it causes all sorts of problems.
kneehimiah!
Never lose your honesty.
It is refreshing and the "right" women will find it attractive also.
"It sounds like you believe it is shallow to prefer attractiveness over ugliness"-piztjw
Nothing could be further from the truth. However, I would like to point out that the 'globalized, all encompassing' statement that "all the in shape, good looking sisters are Disfellowshipped" is a statistical impossibility. Out of nearly 8 million Jehovahs Witnesses worldwide there should be approximately the equal percentage of physically attractive and physically unattractive persons both male and female as in the general population overall. It would be a more honest question of kneehighmiah to ask of himself: WHY IS IT THAT I CANNOT FIND SOMEONE THAT I FIND PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE AMONG WOMEN IN THE JEHOVAHS WITNESS RELIGION? Hence my analogy of the mirror.
As a sidenote, I was one of those attractive and sought after 'brothers'. I was very good looking, a Bethelite and a Ministerial Servant. In my home Circuit I was considered quite a catch. But you know what. I was a shallow jerk......a complete a$$hole. No one was good enough for me! When I finally found the PERFECT and most beautiful girl for me, she didn't want me. I wasn't good enough for her!!!!!!
""compatiblity" with the person you marry is based only on: they go to meetings, they go door-to-door, they read WT literature. That's it."
That is exactly the problem. Do not become unevenly yoked. But what if one does not like meeting or the service or other facets of the JW life?
Find someone who is also like that. The problem is that people are encouraged to look for ones on a 10 on a spiritual level. But people don't advertise that they are a 2. People need to find ones whom they are compatible with and be happy, not focus on the things Shirley listed.
If you are still in and looking for a hot partner, please come to Poland. Probally the same in other eastern European countries. I was always amazed when I went to circuit/district assemblies to see such hot babes walking around with guys that would never have a chance to get laid in the US. Of course if he was a MS that was just a bonus. I am not kidding you, totally mind blowing. Might be a good recruitment tool/advertisement to get 'unloved' brothers to go where the need is great.
Perhaps Jw.org could start a dating service.
