Spanking VS. Reasoning

by SpeedRacer 68 Replies latest jw friends

  • jwfacts

    The idea behind spanking is that it serves as an adjustment/punishment for someone who you cannot reason with - redvip2000

    Children of every age can be reasoned with. The issue is parents that cannot make the effort to work out how.

    ECAN6 - Today, I don't think the same and comparing a kid to an adult is a false analogy. As a kid, I destroyed properties, played endless pranks, transpassed every where I could, lied, cheeted and beat up other kids. In the end, I was conciously doing these things as I knew all would be forgotten by law as long as I was under 16.

    You say your dad saved you by beating you, yet go on to say that your behaviour continued anyway, so the beatings did not stop you. All kids will misbehave, some moreso than others, whether they are beaten or not. But beatings are not a more effective way to raise children in the short or long term.

    Speedracer - This is one of the statements and arguments my JW coworker came up with. Look how the children of the world are growing up and how much trouble they get into because of lack of discipline and spanking. The bible says........

    You will have trouble reasoning with this person, as the arguments show a very narrow and uneducated viewpoint and reasoning ability. "Look how the children of the world are growing up" is one of those comments that is hard to come back to, as the person provides no evidence to support such a claim. Since it is not quantifiable they will dismiss anything you say, and turn it into a he-said-she-said battle. The reality is that children are not growing up bad because of a lack of spankings, but because of a lack of quality time, love and guidance. JW children are no better. Remember that 2/3 JW children leave the religion, despite their Bible based upbringing. Of the JW children I grew up with, several have commited suicide. Several are very severely addicted to drugs. 50% are now divorced. Some have been in prison. Several fell pregnant out of wedlock. It is not that they grow up better, just that whilst they are having problems they are abandoned by the religion.

    "The Bible says ..." is a nonsense statement, as they cherry pick which parts to apply. The Bible also said to stone a stubborn child to death.

    Deut 21:18 “If a man has a son who is stubborn and rebellious and he does not obey his father or his mother,+ and they have tried to correct him but he refuses to listen to them,+ 19 his father and his mother should take hold of him and bring him out to the elders at the gate of his city 20 and say to the elders of his city, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious, and he refuses to obey us. He is a glutton+ and a drunkard.’+ 21 Then all the men of his city must stone him to death. So you must remove what is bad from your midst, and all Israel will hear and become afraid.

  • cultBgone

    Any child who has been spanked remembers the beating, not the lesson. They learn fear, not respect. Build solid loving relationships with your kids and spanking is not an option.

  • Magnum

    By far, the majority of the spankings that I've seen administered are done so out of at least some anger and loss of temper or control on the part of the parent. Such spankings (often beatings) send wrong signals and are not constructive. When I was a child there was a couple in our book study who each week would angrily snatch either their son or daughter of both out of the room and literally drag him/her/them outside by one arm and spank him/her/them. The screaming could be heard in the house. Those children had no respect for the parents; they did not view the parents as loving authority figures. Those parents were weak. The discipline as adminstered accomplished nothing good. The relationship was not healthy or wholesome; it was destructive.

    If a parent is going to spank, then he should definitely wait for a period of time after the offense is committed to make sure he's not spanking in anger or because of loss of temper. Then he should calmly explain in a constructive manner why he is administering discipline, and the discipline should be administered in a controlled manner. It should be obvious to the child that the parent is in complete control of himself and is constructively disciplining - not just acting out of anger. However, I'm not even for that.

    There are some parents who are so good at being parents that they are viewed as loving authority figures by their children. These parents are strong in all the right ways, yet loving, kind, understanding, fun, patient, etc. A strong word from these parents can accomplish more than a thousand beatings. Children want to please and learn from parents like these and don't want to disappoint them. Sure these children are going to err, but when they do, often just a few words from parents like these can be plenty of discipline. The whole parent/child relationship has to be wholesome, healthy, loving, constructive, & kind. Constructive ways of discipline not involving striking/spanking can be found in such relationships.

  • JWdaughter

    I had a couple of "You are getting spanked because I REALLY NEED YOU TO PAY ATTENTION" episodes. You know, where their disobedience puts them in real physical danger. I never beat them, but I personally did not think that the two year old could be reasoned with about why I didn't want her in the street. Run into the street and you get spanked is a lot more of a "reason" than any conversation I have ever had with a two year old.

    Generally, I agree with the reasoning tactic. With few and rare exceptions where the reason is applied a few times briskly to the posterior.

  • LisaRose

    If I had my children to raise over again I would not spank. There are many ways to discipline a child without being physical. I like the "naughty chair" used on one of the nanny show. It takes more effort, as you must sit the child down and make sure they stay for their timeout period (based on age, I think it's 1 minute per year) You must have a stronger will than the child (not easy with some children) but eventually they give in, as its so hard to sit in a chair doing nothing.

    My daughter raised her son with no physical discipline even though her son was strong willed and extremely physically strong. He is now a wonderful young man, he just completed basic training in the Air Force.

  • rebel8

    The idea behind spanking is that it serves as an adjustment/punishment for someone who you cannot reason with - redvip2000

    I just remembered the wts came out with some sort of instruction to parents that they could terminate corporal punishment at "the age of reason", but it was not required. IIRC, that was considered (among dubs) to be progressive and newfangled doctrine, and only the most modern dubs were implementing it. The most faithful continued to "use the rod or spoil the child", no matter the age.

    I personally had my last beating the day of my high school graduation. For the first time, I held Mommy Dearest's arms back and told her, "Never again."

  • Bungi Bill
    Bungi Bill

    Your boss doesn't spank you when you don't do what he says, but the cops sure will.

    I thought that the job of the police was to arrest the lawbreakers, not to punish them - with that function being the role of the courts?

    Even in the application of force while making an arrest, police are limited as to what they may, and what they may not do. Using an armlock or a headlock to overpower a reluctant prisoner while moving him into a patrol vehicle is one thing. Hauling down his trousers, and then administering "six of the best" with a leather strap across his naked buttocks is quite something else again!


  • Magnum

    Bungi Bill -

  • Apognophos

    Two uniformed men stride into your office after a recent argument between you and your boss. "Did someone call the spanking police?" they ask sternly. You notice that they have, not guns, but paddles in their holsters, and realize that you've made a serious miscalculation.

  • Razziel

    what is this i don't even

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