by SpeedRacer 68 Replies latest jw friends
I received two spankings as a kid. But my four kids, wow
the boys a different story. My oldest, I think he loved spankings.
The problem, I spank the kids but the wife it was a beating(kids)..The girls i could
sit down and reason with them, not so with my sons..
I agree with Razziel, "the cops will".
"the cops will"
No they won't; at least they're not supposed to. If one breaks the law in the U.S., he is not supposed to receive a spanking. He is supposed to be punished, but not by any hands-on physical means such as spanking. Cops can use force in some situations, but so can marines in combat. Such situations aren't necessarily applicable to the parent/child situation.
I say that jwfact's illustration about the boss is applicable; the cop illustration is not. The boss/employer relationship is much more similar to the parent/child relationship than the cop/bank robber relationship.
The time out jar.
http://mycrazyblessedlife.com/2011/10/03/relax-bottletime-out-timer/
"the cops will"
No they won't; at least they're not supposed to.
Some of you folks are so naive. It's like you are out of touch with reality. Oh........typical isolated JW.
That's evidently what Michael Brown had been told.
Try this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B_yw1iYKpA
Doc
Thank you Desirous..
I meant that mostly tongue in cheek.
But I think we need to delineate the use of force as a form of punishment and as a method to get physical compliance. If the police decide to arrest you, however minor the offense, their non-use of force is dependent on you complying with their instructions. If you resist, even with a non-violent refusal to get in the squad car; they can and will physically compel you to obey. This is not punishment and that comes later.
Similarly, there is spanking as a form of punishment, and there is spanking to get immediate physical compliance. I'm not a big fan of spanking as punishment. Yes, the first few times the anticipation of the spanking is scary, but after awhile it wears off. I know with me personally, the lesson didn't last very long, and many boys really don't blink an eye at getting spanked.
But I do think with some children spanking is the only way to get immediate compliance. Then the punishment comes later as a denial of privileges, etc.
Very young children cannot be reasoned with like an older child."don't play on the road" means nothing- they only think other children get hurt on the road.
"play in the road and you'll get a spanking" is more likely to instil caution and keep them alive.
ressoning with young kids on hand washing is interesting - they all know they should before eating, but most will not if they can get away with it. No amount of reasoning seems to work, so they make themselves and others ill by covering the food they touch in germs.
reasoning is fine, but the wisdom of ages shows spanking has its place.
gretteacher - children can be violent little cannibals without spanking too. Some children hit kick and slap their parents who have never been slapped - the consequences they quickly learn are lame. Is putting them in a timeout room any less cruel?
Each parent needs to make choices based on their child. Blanket rules don't work in every case. Lock a spanking parent away, and protect the child by putting him in a care home? How is the kid affected by the so called protection?
There are increasing numbers of little ones now being savaged by the dog because dogs are trained with sweetness and light, instead of how they instinctively establish behavior boundaries.
Id like to see the difference in 20 years between the kids brought up in either camp.
Remember too that little ones who play in the traffic, because they don't fear the parental reasoning are eliminated by natural selection very quickly. As are those who cannot be convinced that drink drugs and dangerous driving are bad.
One day we will look back and wonder why anybody ever thought it was acceptable for an adult to strike a child for any reason.
It is NEVER an option under any circumstances.
Very young children cannot be reasoned with like an older child."don't play on the road" means nothing- they only think other children get hurt on the road.
"play in the road and you'll get a spanking" is more likely to instil caution and keep them alive.
I disagree. By 18 months, my son knew not to go on to the road. I taught him that if a car hit him the pain would be like when he burnt himself, or he could be dead like the mouse he found in our kitchen. My friend on the other hand has a son who at 5 still could not be trusted not to run onto the road, despite her spankings. He thought it was a game.
Id like to see the difference in 20 years between the kids brought up in either camp.
The move against spanking has been going on for over 50 years and there is plenty of research to show violence against children is less effective than parents that lead by education and example.
I don't have children and I am not the product of a "humane spanking" parenting model. My experience is limited to what anyone nowadays would call abuse. There were daily "spankings" with objects, open and closed fists. The "reasoning" was limited to nonsense from the likes of the Youth book.
What I can tell you is I was a skeptical child, always needing a reason to agree or believe. My abusive parent punished corporally for refusal to agree with wts doctrine, physically defending myself from bullies or even just having the wrong look on my face. It was a daily event.
I do not love this parent, to this day.
My UBM parent did reason with me and it worked.
Pretty much the theme was, "Yeah, when I was your age I used to think my parents were so old and I was the only one who [insert whatever event had happened that included me acting up]. But then I realized I was wrong. Kids are all the same no matter what generation they're in. It seems like a big deal now but it won't in the future. All you have to do is wait. Now you can keep acting up but it won't make anything better."
I remember talks comparing children to beasts in the field who "needed" to be beaten to learn--there was no other way to learn. I used to quote scriptures that said not to exasperate your child, and then be beaten for that!
I would be interested in learning from (now) adults who were lightly spanked, "appropriately" (if there is such a thing).
