Spanking VS. Reasoning

by SpeedRacer 68 Replies latest jw friends

  • wallsofjericho


    and that is why this is such a debate. Both you and Terry make excellent points. ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT.

  • wallsofjericho



    and that is why this is still such a debate. ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT. Good for you ecan6 for recognizing your dad's discipline for what it was. It obviously was a direct response to bad behaviour and not abuse or "laziness" by your father.

    Terry, wonderful to see sincere love for your children and for your childfren to be so moved by it that it was all that was needed to correct their behaviours.

    perhaps ecan6 would have viewed your tears differently than your kids and stronger discipline would have been necessary for HIM were he your child. No one can say for sure, but we all know families with good kids and problem kids. I would assume both are raised in the same manner yet one may still need strong discipline while others need only a look from a parent to be enough.

    all kids are different. Unfortuntaley sometimes a quick pat on the bum (and never in anger or with aggression) is the one thing that will get a wild young boys attention.

  • jam

    My wife daughter, husband and kids (my daughter-in-law). They

    have two boys.They are doing a wonderful job in raising those boys.

    Rarely do they spank the boys, they reason with them. Each boy at

    a early age was like talking to little men, so weird. Don't get me wrong

    they are very respectful to their elders.

    Two weeks a go we were babysitting the boys. While I was still in

    bed I overheard the five year old and the wife discussing what he

    should wear for a day trip. The conversation went something like this,

    "but granny this is my favorite trousers". The wife, you

    will wear these because it's too hot outside,but granny I packed them

    for that reason..Wife, I don't care why you pack them, you will

    wear this. Grandson: Granny we come over to visit you and Papa,

    I didn't ask for this (her attitude). Oh hell, why did he say that.

    Granny: Well I didn't ask for this either, you can take you narrow butt

    back home.. Thirty minutes later he apologized..

    The point, some kids( boys) you can reason with and others you need

    to spank that bottom.

  • Onager

    I just don't know what I'd do if I had children. I can only offer my personal experience which is that I was spanked, thrashed even, as a child but that didn't teach me to solve problems with violence. I'm a non-violent (fairly) well-adjusted adult now. Would I be the same if I had never been spanked? I just don't know!

  • cofty

    The point, some kids( boys) you can reason with and others you need to spank that bottom. - Jam

    No you don't. Not ever. If you can't find ways to convince a child through reason you may have to just lay down the law firmly and stick to it. Find reasonable sanctions and be consistent.

    Hitting the child is NEVER acceptable.

    Earlier somebody argued that smacking is acceptable when a child can't be reasoned with. I asked whether the same would apply to an adult with learning difficulties. I am still waiting on an answer.

  • jam

    cofty:An example; We serving in Belize, the wife and our two kids.

    My youngest at the time my son, 8 years old. We enrolled them in school.

    One day the 8 year old went into his mother purse and too out a hand full

    of Belize bills.He took the money to school and treated all the kids.

    Ok I set down with him and explain, this is not play money because I figured

    it look so much different then US dollars and also being a JW.

    You know the next day he stole money from his mother purse once again.

    Of the 4 kids, he is the smartest, very high IQ.....

    Reasoning didn't work on that kid...The other three, I could reason with them.

    Of all the kids, he gave us the most problems.

    He finish 4 years at UCLA, so he doesn't have learning difficulties.

  • Terry

    Hamsterbait says:

    Terry - how can you say Jesus is a good example here? Punishments he mentions are cutting people in pieces, throwing them into the sea with rocks round their necks, sending them to hell, terrorising them with fancy fire works in the sky, burning them in a furnace....


    That made me smile, Hamsterbait!

    Far be it from me to "interpret" words of Jesus, but--I always took it as exaggeration for purposes of effective teaching.

    Have you ever thought maybe, if we could actually know how early Christians lived, thought and acted, maybe we would be so appalled--so taken aback at their backward and ignorant ways, we would might throw up our hands in disgust?

    Is ISLAM today any different from Christianity back then? I dunno.

    Today we have more awareness of the side of human nature called Psychology. We know things unknown two thousand years ago.

    More than anything else, this makes me aware of just how UN-inspired Scripture is.

  • ShirleyW

    Cofty and a few others agree that hitting a child is never acceptable.

    Myself and a few others believe that is talking doesn't help a spanking just might be in order.

    In other words, we all have our own opinions and can argue with each other until daybreak but we will still hold strong certain beliefs that we have.

    No you can't smack an adult with learning difficulties, it is of my belief that it's so obvious why you cannot, once again, I think the answer is quite obvious, not everyone, I think it's obvious. But then there is that scripture that says "spare the rod spoil the child" I don't agree with many old, steadfast rules but I do agree with one. Someone on the editorial page of a local newspaper this week said that if that rule were practiced more often perhaps the jails wouldn't be so overcrowded. I think there just might be a small piece of truth to that statement.

  • cofty

    No you can't smack an adult with learning difficulties, it is of my belief that it's so obvious why you cannot, once again, I think the answer is quite obvious - Shirley

    So why is it not ok to hit an adult with learning difficulties who you can't reason with but not a child?

  • designs

    JWs in one Los Angeles congregation i was in came to the meetings loaded with instruments of punishment. Belts, cords, wood ladels. they beat their kids like you were putting out a fire.

    I gave a talk on the Service Meeting about the abuse. California had just passed a Child Abuse Protection Law. I told the parents that if they raise a welt on their kids it is now a Felony in the State and a neighbor has every right to call Child Protective Services and have their children removed from their homes.

    Believe me that did not go over well at all. Persona non grata after that.

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