Tech49 is the only one that really understands this feed!!! Thank You Jack Harper! I have literally given thousands of talk on how to raise your kids "Watchtower Style". I have only been in this forum for a month now. Is this how you treat newbies everyone? You go in attack mode because someone has a different take on an issue than you?
Former Long Time Elder: Why I am still in
by James Jackson 88 Replies latest jw friends
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besty
i don't get the sense of attack mode - more like frustration at a missed opportunity...
PS - I'm sure you agree there is a difference between "giving thousands of talks" and "giving the same talk thousands of times"
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NeverKnew
James, notions are challenged on this board. Mine have been on a regular basis. Being challenged is how you grow mentally... and sometimes spiritually. Through that, one evolves.
Growing up, some of the JWs I know had the worst morals. One is on Megan's list, another has been in and out of jail, and a third seemed to have a nervous condition for failings she believed she had. Drug and alcohol secrets were rampant. Sometimes - not so secret when it came to alcoholism where their parents were concerned. Megan's list guy was a little older, so I had no close dealings with him, but he was always a little strange. I love them all but steered somewhat clear... until recently.
Then he asked the Big Question: Why are YOU still in?
I paused and said: "Because I have a teenage child at home, I have to instill some core principles in his life so hopefully he does not go crazy in his adult years like child 1 did".
I'm a non and never have been - jw. While I fail to attend church on most Sundays, I'm an avid reader of the scriptures. My child's friends call her "Designated Dxxx" because of the wisdom and morals she walks with that were instilled in her.
Your statement above implies that the only way a child will have morals is if they are raised as JWs. Should I see your statement above as insulting or attacking?
Stick around. It'll sometimes be painful, but you'll grow here, James. You really will....
I have and I appreciate everyone for it.
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cantleave
No one is attacking you James.
But we are most certainly challenging your assumptions.
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Tech49
James Jackson, please feel free to send me a Private Message (PM) if you want to talk.
I would be honored to hear more of your personal experiences.
Jack Harper, Tech49
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Terry
Why are YOU still in? I paused and said: "Because I have a teenage child at home, I have to instill some core principles in his life so hopefully he does not go crazy in his adult years like child 1 did".
First of all: Hello and Welcome!
Don't mind the bad manners of ex-JW's. They have been injured.
The injuries take a long long time to heal.
By telling us you CHOOSE to align with our former tormentors and bullies it polarizes some of us into targeting YOU rather than them.
It is stupid to do so and I have done it in the past. I apologize but--if you'll think about it as mental rape you may well understand
how "automatic" the rebuff might happen.
MORALS are very practical behaviors and attitudes; they need no divine origin to demonstrate this.
A high school student who lies to his friends will not be trusted.
A young person who steals from his peer group will find himself marginalized and rebuffed.
A person of any age, however, who degrades and denigrates the most powerful symbols of respect (flag, patriotism,religious holidays) of others
will acquire a reputation of disputatious elitism.
JW kids are oddballs and contrarians. There is no positive moral aspect to forcing this upon children or young adults.
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Jehovah's Witnesses are inadvertantly creating parasitism in their kids. JW's take full advantage of every opportunity a free country offers on the one hand and then turn around and DISDAIN the sacrifices necessary to maintain such a society.
It is inexcusable under the cloak of "faith" to disrespect the Flag or the beliefs of others.
It is wrong-headed to foster a sneering contempt for higher education, too.
All the magazines and books the 7 million JW's worldwide distribute during your kids' lifetime will be OBSOLETE before you know it.
It will all be "old light" replaced by something else and all the sacrifices you and your kids have made will be swept under the carpet
ALONG WITH ALL OF OURS!
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gorgia2
My mother told me that my father remained a JW because of me and my brothers - so that as we grew up he could provide us with a good spiritual foundation we would then take with us into adulthood; I find this debatable and I personally think he used the WTS rules & JW obedience-obsession to maintain control over us. Even if he didn't consciously realize this himself.
gorgia
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lisaBObeesa
Then he asked the Big Question: Why are YOU still in?
Because I have a teenage child at home, I have to instill some core principles in his life so hopefully he does not go crazy in his adult years like child 1 did".
Basically, the group found big problems with your above statement. Not one person agrees with your reasoning here and I think we all think raising a kid a JW is damaging. Should we all have just said 'great post!' and moved along?
Or do you actually want real feedback from people who have gone through what you are going through and what your teen is going through?
We commented. You must decide if you think any of our comments have merit or not. You might think we all don't know what we are talking about. It's your call.
Nobody is attacking you. We are just telling you what we have been through, what we learned, and what we think.
And NOBODY is saying when you should leave the JWs right this minute or how you should leave or how long your should take. By all means take your time and help your family to 'wake up'. Do whatever you must for however long you must.
But we are saying that staying a JW in order to give your kid morals is not a reason to stay a JW.
I hope you understand we are on your side and we care very much.
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punkofnice
The mind control of the WBT$ is very strong and convinces us of all sorts of fallacies.
I was raised in the cult and I don't thank my parents for that either.
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James Brown
You have a teenage child at home. You are between a rock and a hard place. They say don't change horses mid stream. But I think you might be on a dead horse that is sinking. I quit the tower when my son was 10 I was a ministerial servant and full time pioneer. I apologized to my son many times. He is now almost 40 with wife and 2 children. He has an education and career. From time to time we get invited to witness family functions weddings. We came from large Italian family. And my son is tempted to go to hall because of the fraternity. He says you cant find that anyplace else. But I tell him don't do it. They will take your mind and brain over and you will not be able to see or talk to me or your mother any more. I think you are procrastinating and it might come back to bite you. Sooner or later you have to take the bull by the horns and bite the bullet.