Former Long Time Elder, New Member

by James Jackson 88 Replies latest jw friends

  • ProfCNJ
    ProfCNJ

    Hi and Welcome! Just began posting here yesterday though I have seen this site abut 2-3 months ago but felt guilty of lurking over extended period of time so I stopped.

    I have to be honest to myself. Staying inside the organization because of family (I being the head of the family), some close friends and spiritual family. My favorite part is to participate in sharing some highlights of the bible reading scheduled for the week, w/out forcing myself to use WT as reference, making my comments as practical as they can be applied to daily Christian life.

    What I noticed was that some of the brothers with privilege better appreciated comments that are refreshing (sounding new to them) than the usual worn-out comments lifted from a source which they already know.

    There was a time when I pondered: Why always use only WT publications as reference? Since WT has no monopoly of all wisdom and knowledge about God's Word, there are for sure abundant materials out there which are very good source for doing independent research.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Welcome James, enjoy the ride.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Welcome indeed. I wholeheartedly agree with Ca Ching. Reconnect with your son, no matter what was done or said.

  • Comatose
    Comatose

    Welcome, the journey can be nauseating... Take it slow. We are here for you. I was in similar situations as you, but my wife and I decided to get out as carefully and peacefully as we could to maintain our family relationships and friends where possible. Don't let everything overwhelm you.

    Contrary to what you are used to thinking, we have all the time in the world. Go slow. Use us to vent instead of other witnesses. Protect yourself.

    Best wishes, glad you are here!

  • Tech49
    Tech49

    James, I too am in a similar position. Look up my introductory post, just a few days ago. Up until recently, I was an elder for 10 years., MS for 8 prior to that.

    My family and I are still "in", I am gently awakening them from their foggy sleep.

    Briefly, there were just too many things that didn't add up, and I was tired of the politics, backstabbing, bickering,.... the whole "fakeness" of it all.

    I turned in my "badge" and "gun", told my wife there was no way I could serve with these brothers any more. Time to make some changes in our lives, and start doing things that were in the best interests of US, not everyone else all the time. We still attend, go thru most of the motions, but there is a different perspective to it all now.

    I have no ax to grind, or agenda in any way. I lurked here for a long time, and watched and observed. I saw a distinct pattern of people who were hurting, had been hurt, and who were dealing with the same feelings of betrayal that I was, albeit on different levels with differing circumstances.

    In short, I felt I could be of best use HERE, maybe share some of my experiences, my observations, and bring a little sunshine to someone's life. Previously, I had begun to feel like a disposable cog in the machinery of all things WT, and not the helper, friend, and teacher that I had been mentored to be by so many older, caring, genuine brothers some 20 years ago.

    Things have changed in the organization, and they are continuing to change rapidly, and I fear, that it is not for the good. As was mentioned by others, the "TELL" is that so many elders like us are suddenly stepping out of the shadows. They blinked.

    I would be privileged to discuss things more here publicly, or via PM if you have the opportunity.

    Yours,

    Jack Harper, Tech49

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Welcome James Jackson, Does your wife feel the same way about the WTBTS as you do?

    If she doesn't, I hope that you vent often on JWN until your wife is able to see TTATT. If you want to help your wife to think critically for herself, I would recommend proceed slowly and cautiously and let her come to her own conclusions, read and do lots of independent research of the WTBTS, make new non-JW friends, do non-JW activities that you and your wife enjoy so that she can meet more non-JWs, and ,if you still believe in God, read the Bible with your wife without WTBTS propaganda to help her see how the WTBTS mis-quotes and cherry-picks scriptures from the Bible.

    Were/are you still able to have a relationship with your son? If not, reconnect with him. Reconnecting with your son may help you to help your wife.

    Have you read Raymond Franz's books (i.e., "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Christian Freedom") to learn more about why the WTBTS does what it does? Have you read Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visited his website www.freedomofmind.com, and/or watched his videos to learn how to communicate better with a "Spiritually Strong" (non-thinking) JW?

    Best of wishes for you and your family successfully fading from the WTBTS.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • reds
    reds

    Welcome,it's great not to feel guilty about not doing enough. Try to get crisis of conscience by Ray Franz. It sealed the deal for me and answered a lot of questions I had.all the best to you and your wife.it will be 4 years in October that I've been to a meeting. Will never go back to the lies.

  • BU2B
    BU2B

    Welcome to the forum JJ! It encourages me soo much to see that so many are awakening, it seems at a more and more rapid pace! Take your time, be alone, go somewhere quiet and beautiful, just breathe and really think things through honestly and as clearly as you can and then go from there.

    Also, Reading Ray Franz Books Crisis of Conscience, and even better In Search of Christian Freedom will be comforting to you and help you FULLY understand just how UNChristian this Org really is, and how they are able to control Adults like little children.

    Welcome, and look forward to your posts- BU2B

  • RayPublisher
    RayPublisher

    I was an elder too, got out by driving a semi through the front gate...and now my head doesn't hurt so much anymore!

  • humbled
    humbled

    Welcome.

    Every time an elder steps out of the shadows I look over their shoulder (so to speak) and hope to see some of the good men that actually used to be my good kind friends--my own old elders. I hope that they too will come out of the shadows and once again talk to me and all the rest of us who couldn't stand the lies.

    I am a "sister", unbelieving mate, lived in the rurals mostly. Have a large family of 7 children. 22 years a JW. I finally had it out with Bethel and the local brothers over the right to read the bible, basically, and the freedom to talk to my fellow witnesses about it.

    Of course that didn't fly.

    I am still healing up on this board when I can get the internet.

    If you have lurked here awhile then you know we bust each other's chops occasionally--just like family, real family. Then sit down and talk some more.

    Not like being a JW.

    Please tell us more about what changes you see in the Org. Thanks for coming here.

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