by flipper 106 Replies latest jw friends
Thank you, Robert7. There have been so many suicides in the Jehovah's Witnesses. Oompa was wrecked by the treatment he got.
I have read that one of the worst things that can be done to drive a person around the bend is ostracism. It destroys.
Sorry about your mom. I can't imagine how sad that is for you. Mrs. Flipper
One of the possible consequences of being outed is being cut out of your parent's will. Better to remain on the inactive list, maybe attend the Memorial or a few special talks to keep the old folks at bay, than have your family's heritage thrown away to the Watchtower $ociety.
It pits siblings and spouses against each other. I can't tell you how many times I've read here about grandparents who've never even met their grandchildren. Heartbreaking!
Another possible consequence is losing your only source of income, if you work for JWs and need a good reference to move on. In this economy, many are stuck in jobs they can't move from, and afraid of losing their homes if they do. Even worse for former FT pioneers and Bethelites who spent their young college and working years in the cult and are still catching up to their peers out in the world.
I can remember those shunning days...not df'd or da'd...a regular pioneer...an elder's wife, but some how I did not measure up. People would not talk to me or my husband, would not go in the ministry with us, would not accept hospitality from us, and.............gossiped all over how we were bad association. I am inactive now and I don't miss them, they trained me well, taught me that I could have a great life without them.
It feels like pure evil to have a family member that you were close to ,and shared many years with suddening act like you don't exisist . My sister in law actually turned a corner in the grocery store and bumped into me when I smiled and said her name and hello ,she made no facial expression no eye contact ,and stared passed me as if I was invisible ....it gave me goose bumps .
My own brother has not spoken to me in over four years . My in laws will speak to us if we call ,but it is short and brief. Sometimes I find myself pretending they are all dead ,because it is easier to think that than to think they CHOSE no longer to be in our lives .
I hear you troubled mind. I'm not df'd/. I ran into an elder (not my hall) at the market, and he froze then looked past me like I was invisible. You forget for a second that people actually choose to do that...it's not human...and I tell everybody I know about how they act.
I have 7 family members with no regular contact. My brother (COBE), when my mother died, told me he would keep the communication open even though other families would not. But since they have been cracking down on the inactive ones, I haven't communicated in a couple of years.
My heart goes out to the parents and children especially. I know it's the cult mind, it explains so much. But still...how can they do it? I know somebody will die sometime soon, and I'll be at the memorial, and I cannot wait to give a few people a piece of my mind.
I was DF'd while inactive. And one of the elders who DF'd me was later DF'd for embezzelment.
My one and only child had gotten involved with the JW's because of an inactive boy who seduced her. He'd preach while having sex with her. She started going to meeting first, he later did too, then dumped her. Turns out he is now a JW ladies man.
She's now shunning me for the past 2 years. She needs her mother. All young women need their mothers in one form or another. Advice, help, girl talk, banking, etc. and most of all LOVE NO ONE else cares for her as I do
We were once very close and considerate of each other. I had her very young, we grew up together
Enforcement of belief through a communal excommunication format.
That is what i officially refer to it as with all of my JW friends. Many of them have been DF'd in the past as kids, and "came back" claiming it did them good. So that is a hard one to bump up against.
"Enforcement of belief through a communal excommunication format".
What I've found about many who come back or stay in. They learn to live a double life which is common among JW's
They also come back because of being held hostage, missing family members who shunn them, or they their need help. Being held hostage by fear is not living authentically or honest.
I bet if one really has an honest, non judgemental conversation with the ones who came back, a whole other story will unfold.
What is the difference in consequences between shunning/marking a JW/ex-JW verses being instructed by elders to not associate with a non-JW? To me the only difference is that those being shunned/marked had emotional ties for a longer period of time. The result is still the same - no contact and broken hearts.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
@ mind blown. No doubt in fact the exact person I was thinking of when making that statement, gets high on the regular. But he is concerned about my spiritual welfare, and defending the WT as "the closest there is".
I hear that so many times, that I ask how they can have it the closest when they excommunicate people under almost any pretense under the sun. And the easiest way to get df'd.....you got it......to speak to a disfellowshipped person!
How is that "getting it closest" to what the bible says about Jesus.
