WT SHUNNING POLICY: What has it done, or could it do to you? (page 4)

flipper

Simon, that is really sad. You have certainly helped a lot of people who are in the same boat and done a lot of good.

The letter venetian wrote is gripping. The shunning by JW's is not widely known among therapists, teachers, and other helping professions. I tell everyone who will listen all about this problem, including several teachers and therapists who have been my customers over the years. (I guess they paid extra ) So many of them are really surprised - they think of JW's as just another group of nice, honest and HARMLESS religious nuts. Well I think I straightened them out on that - I sure hope so.

Thanks much. Mrs. Flipper

straightshooter

Currently my daughter is still happily df. My other two daughters, son, and I being inactive associate freely with my df daughter. Originally when my df daughter lived at home, the jw avoided us like the plague. After my df daughter moved out, the jw say hello to us at the store, etc. My wife who is again an active jw continues to communicate with our df daughter. She followed the example of a circuit overseer who told her that he still visits his df brother to him return to the org. It just amazes me the logic this circuit overseer had to justify getting around the WTS. But that works out for my wife.

trebor

This month will mark 5 years since my two sisters, brother, mother, uncles, aunts, several cousins, along with those who knew me for many, many years have shunned me and my wife. My father kind of talks to us, but is extremely limited as he catches all hell and grief, primarily at the hands of my mother when he reaches out.

It's very sad and disgraceful, to do it towards me, yes - towards my wife, absolutely...But I also have a 2 year old son. He doesn't know and may never know many of them. They are good people, just trapped in the guilt and fear mongering tactics of the Watchtower; the Society 'BITE's, indeed.

I'm not patting myself on the back, but I was very sacrificing as well as generous always towards my family. Not financially wealthy by any means, but would give of my resources and always my time whenever I could to help. None of it seems to matter, once you leave the Watchtower organization. They continue to toe the Society's line of coming back to the organization, or else never communicate with them again.

It is times like these when there just is no other possible classification, but cult for this "religion".

flipper

Thanks for your great replies ! Replying for Mrs. Flipper here to the latest responses.

STRAIGHTSHOOTER- I' m glad to hear that your JW wife still associates with your DFed daughter. And the fact that one of the local Circuit Overseers associates with his DFed brother helped as well. That C.O. must really keep that on the down-low from his WT superiors or they'd fry him over it. LOL ! But I'm glad you guys are close to your DFed daughter and you are being a support to her. That is really cool and as it should be.

TREBOR- I'm so sorry that your mom& dad and family are shunning you, your wife, and child. It's disgusting. I'm glad your dad tries to at least reach out a bit to you but as you say if he has self righteous JW family pressuring him I'm sure he catches hell for it. I agree this organization Jehovah's Witnesses is NOT a religion, it's a dangerous mind control cult pretending and masquerading as a " religion ". The dangerous attitudes and destructive attitudes you experience from your family can be amplified thousands of times in all of us who experience those same repercussions of shunning from family. It's really sad and destructive. Please know we are here for you, O.K. ? We will be here as friends for you. Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

flipper

Wanted to bump this thread up about shunning if anybody has some more experiences of being shunned that they want to share . Or just any commentary or thoughts in general, by all means feel free to contribute ! Your takes are valued ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

LongHairGal

Mr.&Mrs Flipper:

It was bad enough when I started my "fade" in 2001 but at least I was alone, thank God.

I cannot imagine the horror of having family who won't talk to you, being disinherited, being evicted from your home or having business contacts taken away overnight! I have recently "lost" the few friends I had left there. But, it is no loss really. One of them was really gone well over a decade ago. The religion makes you feel you are "friends" with people long after their behavior says otherwise.

I also experience a little shunning here and there when I go shopping and I run into badly aging women from congregations I was associated with. It is so funny when they start whispering to each other. I just have a pleasant expression on my face and go about my business. 'Eff-em is my philosophy.

However, somebody with family held "hostage" as it were or who has to kiss ass because of tangled business associations with JWs cannot be so carefree. I hope they find a way!

My heart goes out to everybody.

flipper

LONG HAIR GAL- I'm sorry you've had to experience the shunning also from former friends. Indeed, it is REALLY challenging when a person still has JW family members still in and I find for myself and Mrs. Flipper it's hard because some JW family members shun us altogether, yet other JW family members do not shun us. So it's a mixed bag. So then it makes me wonder what kind of " behind the back " conversations about us go on between these family members - conversations we are never made aware of. I feel for everybody on this board and elsewhere who are experiencing years of shunning. It hurts and it is demoralizing to our relationships and humanity in general

flipper

This goes out to any of you who are being shunned by JW's in any way, shape, or form. Hang in there. We are here for you

thecrushed

I have flatly refused to return to the meetings for over a year now and all my family including aunts, uncles, and cousins who couldn't have given a shit what I was doing before all blew up my phone to try and get me to spill my guts. They assumed I was doing something wrong. Now I'm down to my father sending me crazy religious gushing emails every few weeks on how I need to come back to the truth before I die in the big A. My wife has stopped going to the meetings but still believes and thinks I'm wrong but she won't go without me. We live in subtle and quiet isolated misery. I can't talk to her about the Truth about the Truth because she will automatically lock herself in the bathroom and throw up and sob uncontrollably. If ever they find evidence of my apostacy and get DF'd my entire dad's side of the family will shun me and I will be dead to them. My mother's side are all xJW's from the 70's and 80's and I"ll have them at least if they will have me because I've had to shun them while I was a witness. I'f I'm Outed as Apostate I will lose my marriage and financial stability. I will loss many business connections.

This religion is pure evil underneath its thin exterior. PURE EVIL!!!!!!

flipper

THE CRUSHED- Wow. You have a challenging road ahead of you to say the least my friend. And that's putting it mildly. It is a really GOOD thing though that you have your mom's x-JW non-witness side of the family to support you if all " hell " breaks loose. You will really need to lean on them for support and help if the worst happens. I have empathy for you regarding your wife's emotional displays concerning your doubts. I was married 19 years to a JW wife who acted similarly and cried volumes of tears to me- even calling me " the Devil " once. So just prepare yourself for unrealistic behavior on her part as she is still under the mind control of the WT Society it sounds like. Try not to talk about your doubts too much if you can avoid it and stay on non-JW topics with her or get her involved in hobbies together, go out to dinner, ANY activity that will hopefully show her that you love her in OTHER ways , just not the " going to meetings " way. I would try to avoid responding to your dad or just say you don't want o discuss it if you think that they are trying to " get the goods " on you about alleged " apostasy " or " doubts ". Don't give em' anything to use.

Sometimes it will help the JW mate to still feel cared for. I've heard from others that this does work for some like yourself in that position - ( didn't work for me as my wife was a JW fanatic ) but hopefully you can make life a little easier for just you and her if you concentrate on non-JW interests or other enjoyable things to do together as a couple. Just my 2 cents from experience. Hang in there my friend, we are here for you . Feel free to sound off anytime. If you get a chance perhaps you might see a good therapist on the side to help you deal with the stress as well. Just a thought. Take care , Peace out, Mr. Flipper

WT SHUNNING POLICY: What has it done, or could it do to you?

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