WT SHUNNING POLICY: What has it done, or could it do to you?

by flipper 106 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Phizzy

  Mrs Phizzy and Mr Phizzy are only "inactive" and non-attenders officially in the view of the local Elders. But we experience a form of shunning from my JW family. We are never invited to any family event, in consequence we have new relatives born recently whom we have never seen.

  The silly thing about this is, we know full well that if we had never been JW's we would get an invite, or a visit.

  We also get the "scuttling off" from some JW's who see us when we are shopping etc. This is not universal though, some of the more normal JW's still greet us civilly, Mrs Phizzy got a hug the other day from one "sister" who she had been very close to, so they are not all totally mind-controlled.

  If I were ever to say a greeting to a JW and was ignored, (It hasn't happened yet), I think I would loudly say "How ignorant and rude you are !", this may make them aware that the shunning nonsense is never going to "give a good witness", just the opposite.

  We are lucky in our position, I feel so sorry for those of you that are shunned by ones you love very much, and for those who have loved ones who have to feel the pain of shunning.

  Shunning has no justification whatever from any source, and is simply the very worst kind of Bullying.
• 

  Julia Orwell

  If a dfd person spoke to me when I was a JW, I couldn't just ignore them or pretend they weren't there. My sense of civility never allowed it. I met my dfd best friend at a funeral and ran up and hugged her, and she shooed me away...but I couldn't help it, I love her so much.

  How could you ignore someone who says hello to you? How could you just pretend they don't exist? It's inhuman. I always felt uncomfortable around dfd ones, but I could never ignore them if they made eye contact with me or said hello. I wasn't raised JW- could this be the difference?
• 

  Phizzy

  No, you are just a naturally loving and decent person Julia.

  As I said on another thread, I used to ignore all the bollocks about how JW's should treat DF'd ones, it was quite blatant, a warm welcome to the K.H, followed by me making sure they could sit with their family, before some Numpty directed them to sit at the back or whatever.

  I was never pulled up on this, and even changed the attitude of some in my Congo. Others started to do the same, be polite, civil and helpful to the DF'd ones.

  I remember being out with a strict Elder once when we met a DF'd guy from another Congo. whose DFing was known to all, he was a bit of a character !

  I shook his hand and asked the usual stuff, the Elder spoke to him too in a pleasant way, and never said a word to me about it, even though, as a non-Elder I should have shunned the guy.

  Others in my Congo too ignored the total shunning, I don't know what would have happened had the DF'd ones not come in late and then left pronto though, that would have been interesting.

  I am pleased I acted in a good way, but I may just have made it easier for some to find their way back in to the Cult, which is a bit of a shame.
• 

  flipper

  BUTTERFLYLEIA- I'm glad that your kids will never have to experience the shunning treatment. You are a good, loving mom my friend. Protect your kids.

  AUNT FANCY- I agree with you the GB is very bloodguilty especially about former JW's who have committed suicide from being shunned by JW relatives following orders from WT leaders. It's disgusting that the WT Society cannot be brought up on criminal charges for the many different things they get away with. Hopefully fading JW's or those sitting on the fence will read these experiences like you say and free themselves from the JW cult. I'm so glad that you and your husband got your non-Witness family back and i'm sure it's been a great healing process for you. Many of my former JW friends I thought were friends- never really were, it was conditional.

  PHIZZY- I'm sorry you and Mrs. Phizzy are experiencing shunning from your JW family. I know how that feels for sure. It's good that you've developed other close non-JW relatives who you are close to. I do also. I feel that is very important to replace our former friends with true, new friends, family and others. I was like you and never shunned DFed ones as a baptized Witness. I even went up to them in the grocery store when they worked there to say " hi " to them and asked how they were doing . Shunning was never in my nature, nor ever could be.

  JULIA ORWELL- I had a DFed guy shoo me away too one time when I tried to say " hi " to him at a wedding at a kingdom hall. It was awkward. It's like he didn't want to get in trouble with the elders for talking to me in his DFed state. Very weird. I was raised a JW but I never agreed with the shunning and views of disfellowshipping. I could never shun anybody either. Just inhumane. I'm sure you feel glad you are that way as well. Peace out, mr. Flipper
• 

  insearchoftruth4

  Hey Flipper, I was in Walmart the other night and a old friend (an elder) was working his night shift, I saw him, he saw me and I tried to get my hand up to wave at him but just couldn't follow thru so I just went on shopping. Well a disfellowshipped sister was getting off work there and she always gives me a hug and has a lot to say (a real good person)..Next day I was visiting her son talking bout work ect. and she stopped by, she said that on her way out of the store she wished him a good night (not knowing he's a jdub) he said, I won't talk to you cause your not in the congregation, surprised.. she said you're a witness!..well DON'T have a good night...LOL...she turned it around....peace out Bro.....insot4
• 

  Narcissistic Supply

  Shunning Policy??? I'll wipe my ass w/ it!!
• 

  flipper

  INSERACHOFTRUTH 4- Hey bro, nice hearing from ya ! That DFed sister rocks man ! Great way of her handling the situation. I understand not wanting to engage JW's in conversations in public places. Sometimes I'm just too tired to deal with it, you know ? Too much of a headache. Take care bro.

  NARCISSISTIC SUPPLY- I hear you. Sometimes I'd like to wipe the WT leaders a$$ with all their own crap. It's disgusting man
• 

  flipper

  Wanted to bump up this thread that my wife Mrs. Flipper had started in June of 2013. There are a lot of very helpful experiences of people here that might assist any of you dealing with the nuclear fallout of shunning from Jehovah's Witnesses . Take care, please feel free to add any of your experiences ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  LouBelle

  I was firmly shunned from the very beginning. The only time any JW family have come to see me in 9 years was when I was in hospital about 5 years ago, they thought I may die and wanted to come show some 'concern'

  I have lost 'friends and family'. All the people I knew and associated with were suddenly gone.

  However, I knew that would happen - I was in the faith - I knew the consequenses of my actions and was willing to go through with it.

  ........... it was painful - sure. it sucked - sure.

  But I got over it. I do not see those people as friends or family any longer.

  What has it done for me: It's made me appreciate the people I have in my life today. It's made me love stronger and truer. It's made me compassionate. It's made me a better person. I'd do it all again and lose it all again to be in this place.
• 

  flipper

  LOUBELLE- I know how you feel. My older JW siblings never call me on the phone and even WHEN I was a JW they treated me disrespectfully. I checked on their health many times over the years, hardly EVER did they call me. It was never equal concern at all. Like yourself I have made more enduring friendships with REAL friends after exiting the JW cult and the only JW relative I basically keep in contact with now on a regular basis is my mom in an assisted living facility, we talk 5 days a week on the phone. She is the only JW relative I have who never judged me negatively. So she will get real concern for her as well from me