by TR 140 Replies latest jw friends

  • Scorpion


    I have been thinking, being you are the founder of this new religion, you should be looked upon by the group as the Co-redemer and Co-Mediator to God. In other words, the group goes through you, or whatever you have taught for the moment to get to God. This would keep everyone in the group towing the line in fear of losing salvation by leaving the group and not abiding by your wishes.

    To question you would be questioning God himself.

  • RedhorseWoman

    AHEM!!! Scorpie, old buddy....listen up. We have a GODDESS in this freaking religion....a G O D D E S S--namely, me. TR is simply my mouthpiece here. So don't go giving him any ideas about deity. Okay?

    Or I will have to punish you. Now where did I put my riding crop? Hmmmmm......

  • Scorpion



    I promise to be good.

  • RedhorseWoman

    Well, I certainly HOPE so.

  • TR


    All the department heads go through me to ok their particular ideas and/or doctrines. The beauty is that I will ok everything! Each department head/prophet/Goddess is responsible for their actions. I trust their discretion implicitly! They are the CHOSEN! We CAN'T be wrong!

    Don't worry, scorpion. RHW is just a figurehead. She's beautiful, arrayed in her royal vestments. She directs the festivals of worship, but she's an idol that we can bow down to. She has no real power. However, the rank and file don't know this, so to them she's a GODDESS! That's where she gets her power! That's where we all get our power...from the ignorance of the masses.


    You now are in charge of the education and well-being of the children. You and you alone will dictate the corriculum. I encourage splinter groups. So, if you want to start a religion, it's fine by me. Just remember where you learned everything! This IS GOD's org., after all!


    I encourage baptisms and rebaptisms and more baptisms. I need to keep the baptismal shower personell busy. Actually, I think they have the best job.


    Maybe I misread your Goddess application. You are a REAL Goddess? Man, it's hard to find good help. Whoever hired those chimps to process the apps needs to get rid of them!


  • amicus

    I just spent some time on a very tall mountain, sitting (crosslegged, of course) in a dark cave giving this subject some serious thought. During that time my hair and beard grew very long and turned grey -which of course means that my conclusions are extremely wise.
    I think the duty of Accounts Servant should be a shared responsibility. This will allow me some spare time to help with other duties. The other duties I would like to volunteer for are; 1. Baptizer of unclothed sisters (I am willing to temporarily change my name to John, eat wild honey and locusts- well, wild honey anyways, wear my leather belt, and shave the first camel I come across to make my clothing), (Hey Camel! Planing any trips to California any time soon?), and 2. Official Observer of LDH when she feels it's necessary to flash the Press (ISP, there is always room for another OOOLDH).

    Please note: My cave is now avaliable to any who seek wisdom.

  • JAVA


    During that time my hair and beard grew very long and turned grey -which of course means that my conclusions are extremely wise.

    As you can see from my picture, I've spent many hours in that cave, too. It was difficult to find, in that there are not many caves found on "very tall mountain(s)." I guess that's why it's called the Holy Hole of WiseGuys.

    Larc visited the Holy Hole too, but computer screens can't handle that much grey.

    --JAVA, a cup without coffee is like a cave without windows

    Edited by - JAVA on 4 February 2001 9:55:38

  • Frenchy

    You guys are a riot! I'm not sure what all the 'sisters' will be doing at our conventions but I do know where all the 'brothers' will be during baptism!

    -Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

  • Xandit

    I want to be Minister of Discipline and Bachanalia! I've got some really interesting ideas.

    Edited by - Xandit on 4 February 2001 21:27:43

  • larc

    As the Director of Doctrine,

    So far we have learned that the end of the world will not be here for at least a million years, based on my precise mathimatics. Others here have shown us a better baptism service than any other religion has imagined in their wildest dreams. I have shown, without a doubt from scriptural proof that baseball is a religious experience. Well, I told you all that to tell you this.

    How should our conventions be conducted? Our conventions should be held in a baseball stadium. There is no need for long, boring talks, because we are all well versed in the scriptures and in boring talks. What we should do is have a baseball game followed be a baptism service, with all sisters getting rebaptized each summer to rededicate themselves and rejuvinate the brothers.

    I wanted to run this by the rest of the GB before I look for rental prices on a stadium.

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