This is what I get for playing with Robert too long. I missed all the fun. I don't know if anyone has been assigned to be the spiritually weak person but I would like to give that one a try.
I promise to sit on the fence, change my mind on a daily basis, act spiritually strong around important dates and suck up to all the right people when other important people are looking. I also promise to have sex with other spiritually weak members (women members) and cry like a damn baby when I am caught. I will stay in a constant state of private reproof while inviting all elders to watch the super bowl on my big screen TV while serving them over priced European beer.
I promise to cheat on my time slips and place what ever literature you come up with in each and every Laundromat in the greater Portland area. I promise to look interested when any of the elders try to persuade me to sell Amway. I will perfect the art of looking at sisters breasts and shifting my eyes to the ceiling the split second before they catch me. I will drink heavily with all governing body members and be the first to mention how we are only at the level of feeling happy and not ever drunk.I will come in late to meetings and leave early.
I promise to lip sink all religious songs you come up with while singing "Ding dong the Witch is Dead" under my breath. I will also show each and every member how to roll joints using bible pages. I don't smoke dope any more but if it will help me get this gig I'll start up again.
If this position is already taken then I guess I can just offer to do a logo and some illustration and graphics. I draw one hell of a great nude if it is ever needed and I can alter any photograph to look like any thing your hart desires.
SO do I get the job?
PS, I will also steal money out of the contribution box and spend it on alcohol and porno.