NEW RELIGION! NEED INPUT! (page 3)

peaceloveharmony

larc--

sounds good. the end of the world is so far away--we don't even have to think about.

as for the dress code for baptism--why wear anything??

harmony

JT

Harmony STATED NOT TO WEAR CLOTHES DURING BAPTISM

THERE is a scriptural basis for that

you are being BORN AGAIN now did you have clothes on the first time you were born NO

so there you have it no clothes for baptism

smile

i love the bible you can find a text to support almost anything

smile

What about the DEMONS? We all know they're everywhere and they like to hide in used stuff becasue they can't afford new stuff. Anyway, I'm concerned about DEMONS jumping into JW clothing the instant we leave the Kingdom Hall's safety zone.

Why just the other day I heard a frightening DEMON story. A Kingdom Hall building was sold to a church (false religion) when a congregation (true religion) moved to another location. Some brothers accidentally left coats and hats in one of the back rooms, and the minute the Kingdom Hall became a church, the DEMONS got right into those old coats and hats. I hear the church members had a devil of a time; finally nailing the door to that room shut to trap the DEMONS.

I don't want DEMONS following us into our new religion. I suggest taking old Kingdom Hall clothing to the nearest congregation, leaving the pile at the front door. When the next herd of swine goes by the Kingdom Hall, the DEMONS will exit the clothing and enter the pigs. That should drive the price of porkers down and help feed the brothers at the next assembly. What say you?

--JAVA, a cup without coffee is like a room without windows

Edited by - JAVA on 2 February 2001 15:55:37

Simon

peaceloveharmony: in that case, can I do the baptism talk or be the one holding the towels ready...pleeeease....

peaceloveharmony

i feel that everyone should get the chance to hold the towels for the newly (naked) baptized. i think we should rotate, that way everyone gets a piece of the action ;)

h

TR

Larc,

I like your doctrine..It's perfect! You can be our new "Fred Franz-like" oracle. Keep the doctrines rolling in. By the way, don't forget to flip-flop our beliefs once every few years.

JAVA- Your keen interest in demons has earned you the top post in our "Anti-Demon" department. However, I do think we need to recruit a demon from Satan's org. We need a double agent to see how the other side does things. Any active JW's out there willing to take the job?

TR

Venice

AHHH Thank goodness I'm already baptised.

Venice

mommy

I will not get naked! So can't we just say I am baptized:)
I was thinking I will run the nursery!. There is tons of FUN things we can teach the children about God! I have two to start out with:) Simon on the way to the baptizing pool uuhhnmm shower, drop off the kids I will watch em:) Heck drop off angrahard and we will start up our own religion. Or if Peaceloveharmony wants to stop by we can talk about all you guys! And the reason we think it is funny you only preach at gyms:)
BTW I can look over Amicus shoulder and pick up the checks he drops.
lol at you guys:)
wendy

larc

TR,

Thank you for your vote of confidence. I will be working on those doctrinal issues both day and night.

I have been thinking about another doctrine. You know, most religions don't have an official sport. Only one I know of is the Catholics, who have football. They have Notre Dame, and some minor league teams like the Univerity of Detroit, Xavier, and the University of Dayton. That's nice and all, but they have no scriptural proof. We, however, have proof for our favorite past time of baseball, because in Gen. 1:1 it says, "IN THE BIG INNING", so this summer break out the brewski's and enjoy! Hey religion doesn't have to be all solemn and all, especially when you have scriptural proof!

Look at the progress we have made in such a short period of time. We have the end of the world WAY out there somewhere, we have naked baptisms, and baseball. It doesn't get much better than that.....and....it's gonna get a whole lot better!

thinkers wife

Can I get naked first? Thinker already baptized me privately. But I would like to have a more public declaration of my dedication to the Lost Who Have Been Found!!!
TW

NEW RELIGION! NEED INPUT!

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