Welcome AuntConnie. I can only wish you an improved life, whatever form that takes!
Good Reasons To Hate Every Weak And Ex-Jehovah Witness.
Do you like Martinis
You seem to be extremely confused, but that's not surprising: it comes with trying to be a good JW.
Simply put, JW "Theology" is a recipe for intense frustration, overwhelming resentment and generalized anger.
Take some time and figure out exactly who and what is the cause of these feelings. Then do something positive about it!
Jgnat said it very well. What the watchtower offers are empty promises. No matter what you do, you will never live up to what is expected of you by the organization.
Boy, can I relate to Aunt Connie's rant.
I did all that stuff too - elder hubby, pioneering with a car load of old people, taking on the nasty jobs around the KH, etc, etc. My husband was out all the time doing shepherding. We moved to where the need was great, making a huge sacrifice.
Hubby's parents never saw to it that he got trained in a trade (because the NS was coming before he got out of high school - he graduated in 1970) so we were dirt poor most of the time.
My brother, however, was the shining star of the family. He spent 18 years at Bethel and was even allowed to get married while there and bring his wife to Bethel. Even though I was busting my butt to be an exemplary witness while holding down a full-time job, my parents always told me to encourage my brother and sister-in-law because "they work so hard and they are making such a sacrifice." Yeah, they had people to do their cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. but I had to do all that stuff myself.
I finally got fed up with the pedophilia issue, inconsistencies in teachings, lack of love, and other things. I found an online community and built up a network of friends outside of the congregation which made it much easier to leave my family and congregation (and marriage) behind.
It wasn't easy to start over at age 45, but I did it, and I'm so much happier out from under the harsh yoke of being a JW. It takes courage, but you can do it. Let your anger motivate you.
Check out my blog: The Odd Life of Jehovah's Witnesses
I think you'll find some comfort and catharsis there.
Does she even realize this place is THE apostate website of websites?
Frankly, Emery, I think AuntConnie badly needed a dog to kick and we were nearby.
I agree jgnat. She is one unhappy lady, when she is told that she is among the happiest people on earth. Instead, she is empty and unfulfilled, unable to give or receive the love and approval she craves and feels she so deserves. What the wt organization does to people is criminal.
I am deeply in the something I can't leave, it's my whole life and who can I mention any of my feelings to? We had a meeting part on JW.org and the emphasis on keeping away from other websites (local needs part) so I don't think anyone from my circuit will visit this site. My husband is not a listening person,
I hate my parents because they pushed me to join the religion
Newchapter where I am suppose to go at this point in my life, I have almost sixty years invested around this group. My whole life revolves around Jehovah's Faithful Slave and obeying their righteous help, the world is spinning out of control and the Slave is my own life-line. I have nothing to gain and everything to loose by walking away from those with "Sayings of life". It might seem simple to you but my social life, other family members are part of my anchor in the crazy zoo.
Hello Aunt Connie
But you can leave? You choose not too. I can relate to probably just about all of your scenerio, and I am truly sorry for your pain that has made you so angry and full of hate. May I mention and it has already, the fact that you are hear venting to a group of people that you would be disfellowshipped for associating with shows you actually are "NOT revolved around obeying the so-called faithful slave that you profess to obey."
You say..... "The Slave is your own life-line?" You have "Nothing to gain and everything to lose"
Where your heart has gone and how you feel, what have you actually gained? And what have you lost? Other than eventually your sanity like the rest you condemn?
This Slave being your "life-line" and where are you to "walk away ?" The Bible you refer to does not say it is a "THOSE " that has "SAYINGS OF LIFE" it is a "WHOM".... That WHOM being Christ. Reread John 6:68
It is Christs yoke that is Kind, mild, and refreshing! Matthew 11:28-30 It is His Load that is light! The load you have been following is NOT! It is one of a master that is brutal and unloving and does not care for its sheep. They are wolves in sheeps covering. Therefore, when the sheep are skinned, tortured and abused enough, THEY SCATTER! John 10:7-15
Some are FOUND! And Christ says "COME TO ME" those that burdened down.
Some of us had to get to be wounded pretty bad before we made "A CHOICE" to leave. Many of us have made HUGE sacrifices (jobs, mates,children,families) to stand up to that organization that calls themselves "The Truth" but is a "LIE"
So....Just how much you can take is YOUR choice. None of us can make that for you. But for ME, I have never regretted leaving dispite the sacrifices that were made. Undersdtanding the love of Christ and how merciful and loving he really is, is NOTHING I was EVER taught in that WTBS!!!
I wish you the best
Hope I can help
' Mere oppression may make a wise one act crazy.' Ecclesiastes. 7:7
Some of AC's words have been very unkind. But I know how unkind my mother was at times because of the extreme, exhausting pressure of being "imprisioned" within the bOrg - she hated it and yet saw no way out. She did not cross some of these lines, and she was certainly less hateful, but she was in a very similar situation to the one AC mentioned. She was inclined to turn the violence in on herself rather than raging at others, but the violence was there all the same.
I withhold judgment.
A/C, welcome. If there's anything we can do to help, tell us. Vent, share your thoughts and frustrations - we will listen. But please remember that we are trying to be your friends and for that, a little respect to us "underlings", many who used to be "powerful" in the organization and chose to leave of our own volition, may be warranted.
Peace to you,