Good Reasons To Hate Every Weak And Ex-Jehovah Witness.

by AuntConnie 174 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • tiki

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh connie. if people are walking all over you, you must realize that you alone can stop it. you have opened the door for them to do so and you alone can close it.

    anti-depressants for anxiety and panic are NOT necessarily addictive. paxil has very bad side effects and i would never ever tell anyone to go with that particular drug - but you must realize that with some of us, one of the main symptoms of a chemical imbalance is unbridled anger - extreme irritability - and just explosively feeling like you can't stand anything anymore and there is no way out. you certainly give that effect......sooo..........give the meds a can open a whole new life for you.

    and stop letting people use you. and don't worry about your mother.......worry about yourself and strive for your own peace of mind and happiness.

    and CHILL!!!!

  • crmsicl

    Aunt "CON"nie?

  • blindnomore

    Hi Aunt Connie, Please go visist your Mother right now before too late. You will not forgive yourself if you fail to do it before her death.

  • AGuest
    I think AuntConnie badly needed a dog to kick and we were nearby.

    Indeed. Like most dogs, however, most of us here are forgiving, too, dear AC (again, peace to you!). Sure, we might growl at you, if it LOOKS like you might wanna kick again... but we can turn around and get all doe-eyed and hand-licky, too.

    Give us a chance. I don't think there's a single person here, whether believer or non-believer, christian or otherwise, atheist or agnostic... who would say you'd regret it. As for your situation, I'd like to share a little story someone once told ME... that helped me make a very critical decision in MY life:

    A young vacuum salesman was travelling down a dusty country road when he realized he was hot and tired. So he turned off at the next house he came to to see if he could get a glass of cool water (and sell a vacuum, of course). The old man who lived there was sitting on his porch and invited the young man up and offered the water, which the young readily took. As they sat there talking, the old man's dog, which was laying on the porch, heaved a great sigh. The two kept on talking, though. After a few minutes, the dog rolled over to his other side and as he did heaved another huge sigh. This went on for a bit with the dog rolling from side to side and heaving great sighs... until finally the young man asked the older one:

    "What's wrong with your dog?"

    "Nuthin," the old man replied.

    "Well, he keeps heaving those huge sighs," said the younger man.

    "Oh, that. That's 'cause he's laying on a nail" said the elder man.

    "A nail!?" the young man said. "Well, why doesn't he get off of it!?"

    "'Cause it don't HURT ENOUGH YET," replied the old man.

    Only YOU can decide when that "nail" hurts enough for YOU to get up off it, dear one. In the meantime, there are many here who can try and hold your hand while you roll over... from one side to the other... until you make that decision.

    Again, peace to you!

    A slave of Christ,



    ........................ mutley-ani1.gif...OUTLAW

  • Hortensia

    jgnat, thanks for such a good reply. You hit the nail on the head, and your advice is very sound. I hope Aunt Connie reads it and it helps her.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Welcome AuntConnie!

    Sounds like you're starting to realize that the Watchtower "Spiritual Paradise" is 100% false advertising.

    It also sounds like decades of problems, concerns, and sacrifices, are finally coming to a head that you can't simply continue to whitewash over. I recognize that feeling. I was the picture perfect Bethelite not so many years ago. When I was told to jump, I'd ask "How high?" But my life was going nowhere. My hard work was rewarded with only more, ceaseless, and often unreasonable demands. My parents' time and attention were spent more on my "spiritually weak" siblings, and I felt a measure of resentment. However, what was I supposed to expect? As far as their WT training was concerned, I needed nothing and deserved nothing from them. There were no birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, Mother's Days, etc. when we might spend quality family time together, because WT didn't allow such normal family occasions. Instead, my parents had a reason to spend time with my siblings, because they had needs that I didn't.

    Additionally, I didn't understand my parents' feelings because I never married or had children... again, a foolish choice I made based on the false prophecies of Watchtower back in the 1980s. It's only recently that I've come to understand how much my parents love me... but never had worried about me. However, my parents also loved my siblings, and spend nights worrying about them. Add to that, the constant demands for time and money that were placed on my parents... not from my siblings, BUT CONSTANT DEMANDS FOR TIME AND MONEY COMING FROM WATCHTOWER!

    To think that the organization that is supposedly backed by "the only true God", the "creator of everything", and rightful owner of the universe, would be so broke and needy that Jehovah was sapping my time and resources, as well as everything that my parents had to give.

    I went through depression and anxiety, finally going on antidepressants. Frankly, the medication didn't sap the life out of me, like the cases that you encountered. They gave me the sense to wake up and smell the coffee. And what I smelled was a culty muck called Watchtower. It hasn't necessarily been easy to get out and get on with my life, but it has 100% been worth it. My only regret has been that I didn't wake up and get out sooner.

    Now you have a choice, Auntie. You need to either suck it up, paint on that familiar smile, keep being the pioneer elderette, and drink the WT "spiritual paradise" Kool Aid, or you put on your thinking cap and start planning on how to live the rest of your life in a way that may finally bring you some personal satisfaction.

    Good Luck!

  • NeverKnew

    Aguest, I loved your story. I alluded to this challenge in another thread with respect to a time when I was in an abusive marriage.

    I'm definitely using this story elsewhere! :)

    JGNAT, perfect response!

    AC, many here seem to have gone through parallel situations. I hope you're *listening.*

  • PaintedToeNail

    AuntConnie-I can understand where you are coming from. When I was a teenager, I decided I would NEVER in a million years marry a man who was an elder because they are so good at ignoring their own families for everyone else's. My father was an elder. We were dirt poor because we had moved to an economically depressed area to save his family before the 'end of this system' in 1975. My father was involved helping everyone else except our family, because we were not the squeaky wheels.

    'The squeaky wheels get the oil', and your brother is the squeaky wheel in your maternal/paternal family, and you resent it. You wanted your mother's love too, and she didn't realise she needed to show it to you, as you appeared fine. You are now hurt that no one acknowledged all that you sacrificed for the Organization, and it is a huge sacrifice. You made a pact with your family for shunning weak JW family member. Your parent weren't able to live up to the pact, they realised their kids are important to them, rightly so, they are showing family affection and love. They were right, of course, they probably realised that you would shun them too, your brother and sister were more capable of showing real family love than you have been able to because of the sanctions imposed by the Borg, your husband, and your own mind.

    If you had diabetes, would you consider it a weakness to take insulin? Would you consider yourself a drug addict if you were dependent upon it? Probably not. The brain is such a complex structure, with billions upon billions of electrical connections firing at the same time. Sometimes, these connections misfire due to the intricate structure becoming imbalanced by hormones that under or over produce. Hormones that are affected by outside influences-chemical pesticides, alcohol, food compostion, the bodies inability to properly synthesize nutrients. (Like the pancreas not producing enough of the insulin hormone). Hormones can also be affected by inner enviroments-too much cortisol produced in response to pain, flight or fight response, or whatever, and the cortisol making areas burn themselves out, like the pancreas and insulin production, making a brain unable to cope with pain appropriately and hence depression. Depression and pain are often linked together.

    For me, anti-depressents have allowed me to cope with my brains imbalance, which happens to be seretonin. Like a diabetic would feel better on insulin, I feel better with my seretonin reuptake inhibitor.

    Whatever happens, I hope that you can feel valued and appreciated. I hope you can love you mother for who she is, as well as your father.


  • LisaRose

    Wow. Just wow. So you spent your life trying to please your parents by being a good JW, but they give your "bad" siblings more love and attention, so you are resentful and shun them. So how is that working? I can understand your feelings a bit , but do you really want to let your mother die without telling her you love her? It's not like you will get a second chance at this. I wish I could have told my mother good by, but she was shunning me, so I couldn't. Punishing your mom will not help you. Look at your children and decide which one you can cut out of your life if they are not perfect. Can't do it? Neither could your mother, it's not that she doesn't love you, it's that she can't stop loving her other children. Your being the good one doesn't change that.

    And you served this organization faithfully, and are getting nothing for it? Big surprise, did you see anyone else ever get anything back from it? Didn't you notice that there was no pension plan, no 401k, no vacations, no gold watch, not even a thank you? I am sorry to be hard, but this is the reality of the organization you served. Yes, there are a lot of losers in this religion who don't think for themselves or take any responsibility for themselves. There is a way to handle them, it's called saying no. I never expected anyone to do things for me, and they shouldn't either. It may be difficult, but it must be done. You will lose your status as the perfect, happy JW, always willing to help. So what, That was just a pretence, right?

    It's time to stop pretending to be the perfect Jehovah's Witness. Tell your husband how you really feel. Ask him to step down as an elder. You need him right now, more than any one else. You are dealing with depression here whether you admit it or not. You need professional help, and possibly medication. There is no shame in it, anymore than medication for any other kind of illness. Your anger and rage are coming through in every post, left untreated you may blow up, have a break down or hurt somebody, I am not joking. There are ways to treat depression without medication, but you must treat it.

    After you stop being a doormat and get some help for your depression, it will be time to figure out if you are in the right religion.

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