Is unhappiness a reason for divorce ?

by caliber 154 Replies latest jw friends

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Both spouses deserve to be happy. If one or both are unhappy and the kids are grown, divorce should be an option. I don't believe divorce is a decision to take lightly though. I know what it feels like to be in a marriage that is miserable. I'd rather be single than married and unhappy. Sometimes there are things that just cannot be fixed. If your mate is not happy, even if you try to do things to make make your mate happier, it doesn't mean you can be successful. I sure do not want to be married to someone who is not happy to be married to me and vice versa.

    I believe though that if there are kids still at home, a couple that has a congenial relationship should consider staying together until the children are grown and out of the house. If you know early enough while your kids are still growing, that you want to divorce, then it's wise to plan for a divorce financially during those years. While planning, don't forget that your children may need your help to pay for college and to get started on their own. And by all means work together as a team to help your children prepare for the real world. Show them that you can work together for the good of the family, while you are together.

  • moshe
    moshe

    what a load of baloney- plan together for the future divorce? - as soon as the dope has his back turned, the bank accounts will be closed and the locks changed on the doors- and a restraining order will be served on him-

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    A happy marriage has never ended in divorce. Divorce should be celebrated.

    If someone is unhappy then should move on, we get one life... if one is unhappy so will the other be. We live in times of maturity and acceptance. It is better to move on than be miserable. It doesnt make for happy families.

    Snare

  • Bella15
    Bella15

    It should ...

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    what a load of baloney- plan together for the future divorce? - as soon as the dope has his back turned, the bank accounts will be closed and the locks changed on the doors- and a restraining order will be served on him-

    What are you talking about?

    I know couples who cannot divorce because they have themselves in huge debt and locked into mortgages, etc. The first thing you need to do if you understand that your marriage likely is not going to last a lifetime is both of you talk to an accountant and figure out whether you can afford to do it.

    As for being screwed in a divorce, it happens to us ladies, too. I know I sure got screwed. I was in Hawaii helping my daughter, so my husband was not required by the judge to give me my car, which was in his name. He had a company truck, a personal truck, my car and a car for my son to drive. The judge decided that since I was not on the mainland, I didn't need a car! I was planning to come back to the mainland and I needed a car to drive.

    Then my exhusband insisted on me paying to buy my son's car, to "help out" my son. My son ended up totaling my buick.

    The judge gave my ex 7 years to pay 1/2 the equity from our house in monthly payments, to me , since I didn't want the house. I couldn't afford the mortgage payments. After the divorce, I ended up asking my attorney to offer ex the option of giving up my last year of spousal support if he would just give me my equity in one lump sum. So pretty much, I didn't get any equity when it balanced out, but it helped us cut ties with each other a year sooner.

    Never believe the myth that women always come out on top in a divorce. And I sure would never have cleaned out a bank account and neither would have my ex. I decided, the day that he mentioned filing for a divorce, that I was never going to argue with him again. And I never have. I am very polite, cordial and fair to him. As a result, he and I can talk and work together when we need to, for the kids and grandkids sake.

  • Berengaria
    Berengaria

    Absolutely

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Happiness should come from within, true, but being with someone who greatly diminishes the quality of your life certainly can make happiness elusive.

  • moshe
    moshe

    FHN- I rest my case- planning won't work-

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    Moshe, I wish we would have planned better and so does he. He was impulsive.

    He now wishes he would have allowed me to go to school and paid off his debts before filing. He also realizes it hurt our son, who was still 16.

  • Berengaria
    Berengaria
    as soon as the dope has his back turned, the bank accounts will be closed and the locks changed on the doors- and a restraining order will be served on him-
    Uhhh who wants to be married to a dope, and if a restraining order is needed on him, he deserves what he gets. Loser.

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